Smile For Him

Harry sipped from his milkshake quietly. A comfortable silence had fallen between the two and Louis was less than keen to interrupt it. As much as the older boy wanted to ask questions, the silence was perfect. With his hand still placed on Harry’s knee he could feel the pulse beat. Louis didn’t know whether Harry was aware that his hand was still placed on his knee, but the boy didn’t make any sign of protest, so Louis kept it there. But, Harry was aware. He knew perfectly well where Louis’ hand was still placed, and secretly liked it, because it felt strangely intimate to him. Harry was never touched, not in a loving way anyway. Even his Mothers’ hugs were cold and stiff. But Louis’...Louis’ touch was different. It was warm; it was gentle, but clearly strong. Harry had to practically control his breathing so his heart rate didn’t increase, which would be highly embarrassing, as he was sure Louis could feel his blood pump through his trousers. Louis didn’t seem to mind though, in fact, there was a tiny smirk on his face.

Harry cleared his throat after a while, causing Louis to turn towards him. “What about you?” he asked, turning his head also. “What about me?” Louis asked his voice full of playfulness. “Well, what was school like for you? You’ve heard my side, I want to hear yours.” Louis sighed before saying, “It’s not very interesting,” but Harry simply said, “I want to know.”

“Fine. Obviously I went to school on my side of town. It’s a little less fancy than the one that you go to. For starts the jumpers were itchy as fuck, and trainers were classed as good footwear. I had an average time. Did well enough to get some GCSEs and a couple of A Levels, but not well enough to get into Uni. Didn’t really want to go anyway, if I’m honest. I don’t have that kind of money to waste, and besides, I don’t have a clue about what I actually want to do with my life. I had good friends, who I’m still friends with now. And I had some enemies...I guess,” Louis looked down at this point, almost looking slightly guilty before carrying on, “The teachers hated me, for no reason at all really. Apart from the sixty year old Science teacher who I still swear to God is a fucking paedophile. He wanted my cock, I swear,” Harry burst out laughing at this point, causing Louis to chuckle along. “I’m serious though. He was a creep. But, like I said, my school days were average. When I was eighteen my Mum said I had to get a job and move out, or else she would kick me out. I have four younger sisters, and my house was pretty tiny, so I could kind of see her point. So, as soon as I turned eighteen I got a job at the local pub, and moved into a flat with my best mate, Liam. We live in a house now though, with two others guys. It’s messy and a bit crammed but, we’re getting by.”

There was a small smile on Louis’ face as he finished. But Harry could detect a sense of falseness to it. Almost like Louis was pretending he was happy, but really, there was something missing. Harry didn’t know what of course, but he still knew. Louis wasn’t happy...Louis was sad. Very sad actually but of course the older boy didn’t want anyone to know that. Harry knew though, because Harry could tell these things. He could read people as easily as a book, and while Louis was a little bit harder to crack, there was no denying that falseness.

“What’s up?” Louis asked, noticing Harry’s eyes. “You’re not happy, are you?” Harry said before even thinking. He regretted it instantly as soon as Louis’ eyes widened. “W-what?” Louis spluttered, “Of course I’m happy! W-why wouldn’t I be?” Harry only shrugged, “Forget it. It’s just...I can kind of read people and that’s what I saw...when I looked at you. I saw you look sad. But, just ignore me. It doesn’t matter.” Louis licked his lips, removing his hand away from Harry’s knee which had still been placed there this whole time. It left Harry’s knee feeling cold, and Harry feeling slightly disappointed.

Louis let out a laugh. It sounded rather bitter, but at the same time, held a hint of amazement and disbelief. He looked up at the sky and said, “No. No, you’re right, Harry. You’re right. I’m not happy. Not completely. But how is it that my friends, the ones I have known for thirteen years, can’t even tell that fact, but you can? I have known you for less than a week but yet you can read me better than anybody. How is that?” Harry didn’t realise the question was rhetorical, and was about to stutter a reply, but Louis carried on. “I’ll tell you why, Harry. Because you’re strange. You’ve spent your whole life on the sidelines just watching people. I am the only person you consider a friend and you have known me for four days, yet you’ve known your family your whole life and you can’t even tell them tiny details about yourself. You’ve shut yourself away, like you don’t even want to make friends really. You’re so quiet, and afraid. But yet you know so much about people. I think you know more about other people than you do yourself. That makes you very odd, Harry. Scarily odd,” Harry was confused, and he could sense his chin about to wobble. Was Louis turning on him? After the last few brilliant days, was Louis really starting to see what an odd kid he was? Harry squeezed his eyes shut and lowered his head to face the ground, waiting for Louis’ next harsh words.

He felt a finger and thumb place themselves on his chin, and pull his head up and turn it back towards Louis. Harry slowly opened his eyes to see those blue eyes much closer than he had expected them to be. So close he could see the pupils dilate. So close he could see the greyish ring that circled the blue iris...so pretty. “But you know what?” Louis began in a whisper, his breath smelling of sweet raspberries, “I like how scarily odd you are...very much.” Harry didn’t know if it were possible for eyes to smile...but when he looked into Louis’ he couldn’t help but see a grin. The way they sparkled sent shivers down Harry’s spine, and it made his breath hitch and his pulse quicken. And just when he thought something amazing was going to happen, Louis pulled away. “It’s getting cold. Want to go back to the car?”

Harry had to take a moment to calm himself. He had to take a deep breath and pray for the heat in his cheeks to go away. “Yeah, sure,” he said, his voice cracking. “Cool,” Louis said, dropping down from the low branch and landing on the ground perfectly. He glanced back up at Harry, waiting for the younger boy to follow. Harry was a little less delicate. He landed on his feet, but managed to stumble a few paces clumsily before falling over. Louis laughed while Harry blushed. The older boy held out a hand which Harry took gratefully. “Come on, twinkle toes,” Louis laughed, throwing both his and Harry’s finished drinks in the bin as they began to walk.

“It’s getting late,” Louis mentioned as they walked back past the milkshake store. “Yeah, I know.” Harry mumbled. “So...don’t you need to get home?” Louis asked. It was 6:47p.m. Usually Harry was home by now, but for some reason Harry seemed far keener to stay where he was. “My step-dad’s not home until late, he’s the only one who’ll really notice I’m gone. Despite the fact he hates me, he likes having me around so he can taunt me. I’ll just phone Tobias and tell him I’ll be home late too.” To be quite honest Harry was surprised Tobias hadn’t really questioned Harry further on where he had been these last few days. Maybe Tobias was just happy that Harry was spending time outside of the house, regardless of where he was. There was a mischievous look in Tobias’ grey eyes sometimes; leading Harry to believe that maybe Tobias wanted him to be rebellious. Harry was pretty sure Tobias was once a rebel too, back in the day.

“Who’s Tobias?” Louis asked out of curiosity. Harry gave a nervous laugh and said, “He’s, um...he’s my butler.” Louis’ eyes widened. “A butler? Shit. That’s...that’s...quite impressive.” Harry just shrugged, “He’s quite cool, yeah.” Louis just let out an impressed laugh as they walked past Blockbuster again. Zayn still wasn’t working yet, however there was no mistaking the dark-skinned boy walking down the street in his blue work shirt. “Shit,” Louis cursed, dragging Harry onto the opposite side of the road. “What?” Harry asked in confusion, glancing around. “That’s Zayn. You know, my friend who works at Blockbuster? I live with him. No offence, I just don’t want him to see us.”

Harry gave Louis a confused look, and at those pretty green eyes Louis sighed guiltily, “He doesn’t know I’m friends with you, okay? I mean, he knows I’m friends with someone. He just doesn’t know it’s you.” Harry gave a cute frown, “What do you mean by me?” Again, Louis sighed, continuing to drag Harry down the street. “I mean he doesn’t realise you’re a seventeen year old from the other side of town.”

Still frowning Harry questioned, “Is it wrong that I’m seventeen?” Louis let go of his grip on Harry as soon as they saw Zayn enter the shop. The look of panic was gone. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong. But...I’m just not ready to tell my friends yet. I’m not quite sure how they’d take it.” Harry just nodded in response, showing he was okay and that he understood. They walked back to Louis’ car, and both slide into their usual spaces. It was getting darker now, meaning Louis’ had to turn his headlights on. “So, home?” Louis asked. Harry shook his head with the smallest of smiles, “Not yet.”

Louis’ lips twitched into a smirk, “Where to then?” Harry licked his bottom lip, “Can you just drive? Just...drive anywhere, just for a little while. I just want to go anywhere...with you.” Harry muttered the last part quietly, lowering his head in embarrassment as soon as he’d said it. He didn’t see Louis’ perfect grin as he reversed out of their parking space. Louis drove through the town which was starting to empty. The teenagers and hobo’s that had littered the streets before were now either indoors or at the bars scattered around town. Just as Louis was about to exit the town he turned to Harry and said, “Do you like to go fast?”

Harry turned towards him. A blush was on his face after detecting the rather sexual context which he wasn’t sure if Louis was meant to imply or not. “Sure,” he croaked, to with Louis smirked. Louis turned his CD player on, and turned the volume up loud before slamming his foot on the accelerator. The car sped down the empty road with trees blurring past the window. Harry was scared at first. He’d never been driven like this before...with the driver so crazy and dangerous. But after a few seconds all worry seemed to wash away.

The music that reached Harry’s ears made him smile. It was perfect. He wound down his window and let the cold night air fly through his curls. It felt euphoric. Everything seemed to rush past his eyes at a speed he’d never felt before. The heavy guitars flooded his ears and the wind made his eyes stream. He threw his head back and let a laugh escape. He felt free. For once in a very, very long time he felt so careless and reckless. For once he felt something Louis felt every day. He just didn’t care. Not in this moment. Not at all.

Louis turned towards the young boy in his passenger seat. The curls were flying wildly around his head, and his neck was straining as he laughed heartedly and manically, his eyes squeezed shut in ecstasy. It was beautiful to Louis...he was beautiful. And it was then that Louis realised...he couldn’t lose Harry. Not ever.