Smile For Him

“Did you have a wank last night?” was the way Louis was greeted as he walked into the kitchen on Friday morning. Liam was sat at their messy dining table, sipping a cheap coffee and eyeing him suspiciously. Heavy snores emitted from the living room signalling Niall was still asleep, clearing enjoying his day off work. “Why?” was all Louis said, taking a slice of bread and popping it in the toaster.

“But did you?” Liam asked again, taking a bite of his own toast and licking the crumbs from his lips. “I might of,” Louis shrugged, taking the hardly golden toast out and staring to butter it. A bang was heard from upstairs, probably meaning that Zayn had fallen out of bed, thus waking him up. Liam rolled his eyes and spoke, “Well, keep it down next time. My bed is right next to the wall you know.”

With a full mouth Louis argued back, “But I was so quiet! I tried so hard!” This hadn’t been the first time the boys had had this encounter. However, it was far less embarrassing now. Because Louis remembered distinctly the first time he heard Liam through his bedroom wall. Conversation had been awkward in the morning, with a near-deadly silence filling the house. It was before Niall or even Zayn had moved in, meaning there was no one else to break the tension. They got over it soon enough and now was more of a nuisance than a problem. “I could hear your headboard banging,” Liam explained, standing up and dumping his cup into the sink. “I guess your mate isn’t putting out?” he said cheekily, raising an eyebrow in Louis’ direction.

Louis huffed and said, “Don’t talk about him like that. You don’t understand. It’s...strange. I told you before; he’s a bit of an odd one. A bit shy,” he stopped once he noticed the unmistakable expression of Liam thinking. He didn’t even have to ask before Liam suggested, “Why don’t you bring him along tonight? There’s a party at the barn. We can meet him then. I mean, I do want to meet the lad who’s captured my Louis’ heart,” Liam teased. However, his smile faded once he caught Louis’ sad face. “What’s up?” he asked, this time turning serious.

“It’s just...it’s so hard. He’s so fragile. I already feel like I’m forcing too much out of him. I don’t want to go any further, you know? I think taking him to a party would be too much for him right now. Besides...I...don’t really want you meeting him just yet,” he bit his lip and looked away from Liam’s judgemental eyes which were making conclusions of their own. “You know, Louis, whatever happens. Whoever this guy is, we won’t judge you for it. I mean it’s up to you who you’re friends with or who you date. But, you gotta admit, you’re being so secretive, I can’t help but assume the worst.”

“And what would be the worst?” Louis questioned, his toast now cold and forgotten about on the kitchen worktop. The brown eyed boy gulped and looked away. “Well, I don’t know. Like, maybe if he was a criminal, or murderer, or sociopath...or like a twelve year old or something. I-it’s none of them things, is it?” Liam let out a nervous chuckle at the fact that he even had to ask Louis such a question. The older lad wasn’t stupid, and Liam was certain it was none of these things, but somehow he felt he had to ask, because there was a part of him that genuinely wasn’t quite sure. Because, really, Louis was the kind of person to do that. Louis was that person who couldn’t help who they fell in love with. But once they were in love, they were dedicated. Too dedicated, if Liam had to be honest. Louis barely had serious relationships anymore. His last proper girlfriend was the only person who he really cared for. And boy, did he care for her. He was devastated when she ran off. So, in some ways it was nice Louis had found another person who he really seemed to want to be with...but at the same time, it scared Liam. Because Louis was just the kind of person to accidently fall in love with a criminal...and not be able to fall out of love with them. Once Louis was in love nothing else mattered.

But Liam was thankful when Louis chuckled too, although rather falsely if he want to admit. “No, Liam. Don’t worry. I’m not seeing a twelve year old murderer. Look, I really want to tell you but...” Louis sighed in exhaust and almost defeat. He shut his blue eyes and took a deep breath. “You really wanna know?” A brisk nod was Liam’s reply. The short gesture was unsure, but regardless Liam had nodded anyway, so Louis told.

“Okay. His name’s Harry,” even at the mention of the name Liam smiled. Of course he had no idea who Harry was, but it was nice to finally put a name to the boy who had captured Louis’ heart. “And...he’s...he lives on the opposite side of town,” at those words Liam’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Somehow he felt he should have seen this coming. But still, the idea that Louis had pulled one of those posh twats was quite impressive to be honest, considering most of them were homophobic bastards. “And he’s...uh...h-he’s...seventeen,” that was the part Louis dreaded the most. A three year age gap was barely controversial in today’s society, but it felt like because Harry was still in a school uniform it was wrong.

Liam remained speechless. In his head he was trying to work out whether what Louis had revealed was actually better or worse than what he had assumed. All he could keep thinking was, ‘at least he’s not twelve...’

“At least he’s not twelve,” Liam said pathetically before he could control what came out of his mouth. Louis’ frightened face cracked a smile, glad that Liam was at least okay enough to tell jokes. It felt as if a sudden weight had been lifted off of Louis’ shoulders. A weight he hadn’t previously known was there. He’d been bottling up the truth for so long and fixating on his friends reactions he couldn’t quite understand why Liam was being so relaxed. “So?” Louis questioned softly and carefully.

“So what?” Liam asked, this time a little bit sharper. The news had sunk in. “Well...w-what do you think? Is it bad?” Despite his previous smile Louis was still nervous. He wouldn’t stop being nervous until Liam said it was okay. “What. That he’s seventeen? It’s...it’s different. But, it’s okay. It’s fine,” Louis breathed a sigh of relief while Liam continued, “Actually I’m a little bit more concerned about the fact that he comes from that part of town. Isn’t he a complete posh wanker?”

This time Louis let himself laugh out loud. Harry was a lot of things, but one of them was not a posh wanker. “I guess that means no?” Liam said, grinning at his friend’s laughter. “No,” Louis said, “Harry’s not like at. Not like that at all. That’s why I like him. He’s different,” he paused in thought before saying, “Now I know you’re okay with it, I wouldn’t mind you meeting him. It’s up to him of course,” he paused again. A frown fell onto his face. “What do you think Zayn and Niall will say?”

Liam paused too. He chewed his lip as he thought, before saying, “They’re your best friends, right. I mean after me?” Louis nodded with confidence. Of course they were. Liam smiled, “Then they’ll be fine. Honestly, Lou, I dunno what you were so worried about. Listen, if this Harry is a great as you say I can’t wait to meet him. But...you’re right. It’s up to him. I’m going to meet him eventually though. You know that.”

“Yeah, I do,” Louis replied. “I’ll ask him about tonight when I see him. But I’m not making any promises,” he gave Liam another brief smile before heading back towards the stairs. “Anyway, shouldn’t you be at work now?” he shouted from the landing. Liam checked his watch in confusion. “Shit!” he cursed, grabbing his shoes and running to the door.

-

A smile had been threatening to form on Harry’s lips all day. For once he wasn’t even bothered that he was at school, mainly because he wasn’t paying attention. His mind was full of Louis. His cheeks still blushing remembering the kiss. He wanted to tell people...show off about it. Scream from the rooftops that he wasn’t a loser anymore. He wasn’t alone. He had someone to care for him, and someone he cared for. It was a strange thing, love. Well, Harry didn’t want to call it love, but then again he didn’t know what else to call it. His heart fluttered every time he imagined those soft blue eyes, and he got a strange twitch in his trousers each time he thought of that kiss. He’d even bloody got himself off thinking of the boy, for fucks sake! He wasn’t quite keen on saying he loved Louis....but he didn’t want to say he liked him either. Because he felt a lot more than ‘like’ towards him. The words on the board seemed pointless right now. How could Harry concentrate on bloody Charles Dickens when in two hours time he would be meeting up with the boy he...needed. That’s the only way Harry could really describe it. He needed Louis. Now that Louis had introduced himself Harry had a constant feel of wanting. Wanting Louis by his side, wanting Louis to hold his hand...wanting Louis to be in his bed. Perhaps he was blurring the lines between want and need. But it was true. There were many things Harry wanted, and Louis was one of them. But he needed him too. He needed him desperately. If Louis would suddenly disappeared Harry wouldn’t know how he would cope. He would falter without Louis now.

“Mr. Styles?” a slightly frustrated female teacher demanded. Harry blinked in confusion and saw the old woman staring at him...as well as the entire class. He gulped, panicking. Not use to this amount of eyes on him. He was quite good at being invisible after all. “Y-yes, Mrs. Ashworth?” he stuttered, trying to avoid Bert’s snickering glare. “I asked you what the main theme of Hard Times was. You would have heard the first time had you been paying attention,” Harry blushed as the class laughed. He looked into the wicked dark eyes of Mrs. Ashworth and stammered, “Utilitarianism, Mrs?”

She sniffed, “Very good,” before turning back to the board. The class turned back to the front of the class, jotting down the new notes that the teacher was writing. But one pair of eyes stayed fixated on Harry. Harry dared to look and see who could possibly be staring...and of course it was Bert. Eyes narrowed in a sickening fashion. Without words Harry knew immediately what Bert was trying to say. Freak. Loser. Weirdo. What the fuck are you smiling for? I’m going to get you. You don’t deserve to smile.

Harry didn’t have to hear the words from Bert’s mouth to know that is what he was thinking. He’d seen the look all too many times. The boy’s good mood vanished, replaced by the familiar feeling of fear.

The bell rung quicker than Harry would have liked. As usual he tried to slink out of the classroom without being seen, but it seemed he hadn’t set two feet in the corridor before Bert was hissing in his ear. “What were you smiling for, Styles?” his cruel whisper spoke. The hairs on Harry’s neck stood up at the harsh voice. “You don’t deserve to smile,” he carried on. A vice-like grip clamped itself onto Harry’s arm. There was no point in struggling. Bert was strong, and Harry was not.

The boy was scared. Bert hadn’t beaten him up since they were fifteen. But somehow, today felt like the day he would receive another. Surprisingly though, Bert pushed Harry away. His back slammed into the wall with force, and pain shot up his spine. He groaned, but was almost relieved to find Bert wasn’t coming back for more. “Don’t smile anymore, Styles!” the bully called from down the corridor, catching the attention of the other students. “It makes you ugly!”

The students laughed as Harry’s face fell. His sister walked past him in that moment, shaking her head in complete humility. She couldn’t even look at him. In fact she didn’t even acknowledge he was there. An embarrassment. That’s all Harry was.

-

“What’s up?” Louis asked as soon as Harry had entered his car. He’d detected the sad look as soon as he was close enough to make out Harry’s features. Something was wrong, and Louis panicked, believing Harry had found out that Liam knew. “Nothing,” Harry said miserably. Or maybe he was regretting the kiss yesterday, Louis continued to wonder.

“Don’t lie,” Louis said. Harry licked his lips and mumbled, “Do I look ugly when I smile?” Louis would have laughed out loud and the completely stupid question had he not realised Harry was being serious. “Hey,” Louis spoke softly, turning Harry’s head around to look at him. “Smile for me,” and just at Louis’ request, he did. It was barely a grin, but it was a smile none the less. Warm and sweet, somehow shy...just like Harry. Louis’ heart fluttered, “You should smile more, Harry,” he admitted, “You look a hell of a lot more pretty when you do.” And with that he drove off, not bothering to see Harry’s reaction, which was a mixture between embarrassment and flattery.

“Listen,” the older boy began as he drove aimlessly down a country road, “How would you feel about meeting my friends tonight? You don’t have to, of course. No pressure or anything. I just didn’t know whether you wanted to get to know them more or something. There’s a party tonight, down at that barn you like so much. Want to come?” the car remained silent. For quite some time too, which was worrying. When Harry didn’t answer Louis quickly added, “Y-you don’t have to. No pressure. Honestly. Actually...j-just forget about it-”

“I’ll go,” the voice was so quiet Louis wondered if he’d actually spoken. “What?” Louis asked, wanting to make sure he’d heard what he thought he had. “I’ll go,” Harry said a bit louder. “Really, are you sure? You don’t have to,” the older boy said again, not wanting to feel like he was pressuring Harry into anything.

“No. I-I want to go. I want to meet your friends,” Harry couldn’t quite believe he was saying it. But the words fell from his mouth before he could really think. It was true though. Harry did want to go. He really did. He wanted to go to a party and meet Louis’ friends and actually feel a part of something. It would be so scary, he knew that. But when Louis was there, he felt like he could accomplish anything.

Louis smiled, “O-okay then! Great! Cool. I’ll pick you up at nine then?” he parked in town, and Harry instantly realised they were off to get a milkshake again. Not that he was complaining. In fact he was rather excited at the prospect. He liked them milkshakes. “I won’t need a lift,” he replied, sliding out of the door to join Louis outside. He noticed Louis’ confused expression and explained, “My house is right by it. I can just climb over the hedge and walk. It takes me ten minutes. It would save a lot of explaining too. It’ll be late. No one checks on me that late, not even Tobias. They won’t even notice I’ve gone.” He couldn’t believe what he was insinuating. Sneaking out? What had happened to him? A smirk was present on Louis’ face. A look which was proud. “I’ll meet you then,” Louis suggested. “Right by your house. We can walk together.”

“Okay,” Harry said, getting more and more nervous by the minute. His stomach was in knots at the sheer thought of being at the party. But there was a tiny something inside of him...excitement. And he really was. He was excited. “There will be alcohol there, by the way,” Louis pointed out, “Meaning there will be a lot of drunk people...possibly including myself. Are you okay with that? I don’t have to drink if you don’t want me to.”

“No. That’s fine. You can drink. And...and I’ll drink too, if that’s okay?” Louis turned his head in shock. “You sure?” he asked, knowing that Harry was only saying it to try and impress and fit in. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll drink,” Harry nodded again. “Okay, but promise me you won’t have too much? Not this time anyway,”

“Okay, I promise,” Harry smiled. His heart fluttered at what Louis said. This time. There was going to be more than one. Harry was actually going to be invited to more than one party. And his first was tonight. His first real party. Which didn’t involve lame games and disappointing birthday cake. No, a real party. With music, and alcohol, and drugs and sex...and it was all going to be with people from the other side of town...who were older than himself. In the space of an hour Harry Styles had officially become the coolest person in his school. Not that anyone knew it of course.