Smile For Him

They sat on the tree again, feet swinging and lips pursed around their straws as they sipped their milkshakes. Both had somewhat undefeatable grins on their faces. Neither had said a word since getting into the car, but honestly both were enjoying the feeling of triumph to say much anyway.

Louis didn’t even know what had really happened. All he knew was that a grinning Harry had come storming through the field, face alight with a grin as his curls bounced around his sharp, angular face. Of course it was good news. The older boy took another mouthful of vanilla milkshake and turned to Harry, breaking the twenty minute silence. “So, what did she even say?”

Harry licked the pink milk from his lips and explained, “It was strange. She was okay about it. At first she was angry. She didn’t understand. But then...I don’t know. I started yelling at her. And then she told me that she wouldn’t have told Mum and Robin anyway. That she was just scared and worried because at the end of the day I’m still her little brother.”

Despite Harry’s serious and concerned expression as he explained, Louis couldn’t help but let out a small giggle. Harry turned sharply at the noise, and demanded, “What?” in his soft and barely frightening voice.

“You yelled at her?” Louis laughed again. It was hard to imagine the boy angry. After all his voice was as gentle and soft as a fucking bunny rabbit. His slight accent adding emphasis to some words, making them melodic somehow. The boy was just too...shy. Too precious. Even with Louis, who he was most certainly comfortable with now.

“Yes, I yelled at her. She was making me angry. And that’s what people do when they’re angry, isn’t it? They yell.” Harry just shrugged, but he could understand why Louis was laughing. The smallest of smiles twitched on his lips but he lowered his head to hide it. His curls falling over his face, brushing his cheeks.

“Why was she making you angry?” Louis asked, taking a huge sip of his drink and instantly clutching his head at the cold taste that hit him. Brain freeze. Painful.

“Because she was saying bad stuff about you. Mean things. She doesn’t understand what our...our...thing is. She thought maybe you were just using me.” Harry looked away for a split second, that uncertainty in his eyes. But once Louis laughed he was reassured.

“Well, let’s be honest, relationship isn’t exactly normal,” he seemed to stop suddenly, aware of what he had said. It was the first time he had ever really labelled what their thing was...a relationship. Harry picked up on the word and asked, “Is that what this is? A relationship? Is that what we have?”

In all honesty Harry didn’t know whether he was thrilled or petrified by this concept. A relationship. A boyfriend. Something he had never had before. And it’s not as if Louis was a normal person either. Louis thought for a second before shaking his head. “No. No I don’t think that’s what this is,” for a moment Harry’s heart sunk, before Louis explained, “I don’t like putting a label on something. Why should I have to? Why should we have to? You’re not my boyfriend. If you're my boyfriend it means I have to buy you flowers and chocolate and celebrate my love for you every day and confess it to the whole world. Because if I don't it's like I'm not worthy. I'd look like a shit boyfriend. What if I don’t want to do that? What if one day I just want to sit with you in silence? Where no one can see us. Where it’s just you and me. What if I don’t have the money to buy you things? I don’t want to have to tell people I love you. Because why do they have to know? Why is it their business? It’s you and me, Harry. That’s all that matters. I'm not ashamed of you. Of course I'm not. You're wonderful and kind and really fucking strange. You’re my Harry. And that’s just it. No labels. Because that’s not what you are. You’re not predictable. You’re not normal. You’re just Harry, and that’s exactly why I like you, and that’s exactly what makes you mine.”

Harry sniffed and smiled lightly. Louis was the oddest romantic he had ever come across. The words he spoke were entirely true, and it didn’t hurt a single bit. Because Harry agreed. Why should they label what they have? It was not anyone else’s business. If someone were to ask Harry what was going on between himself and the older boy, he would simply shrug. They themselves couldn’t even define what was going on between them, why should anyone else. They both sat in silence again, the minutes passing by. And, as always, it was Louis who broke it.

“Besides,” he said, staring down at the ground rather than into Harry’s eyes. “If I called you my boyfriend it would mean I’d have to kiss you. I don’t want to put that kind of pressure on you.” Louis shrugged as if it was nothing, but Harry was quick to reply, with blushing cheeks.

“I don’t mind kissing you,” Louis’ head swiftly turned to look at the younger boy. “I-I mean I quite like it,” he took a sip from his shake and dragged his eyes over to the older boy. It was a surprise to see Louis was blushing this time. His lips twitching in a smile.

“Yeah?” Louis raised one eyebrow, “Well, I kind of like kissing you too, Harry Styles.” He loved to use his full name. Something about the way it rolled off of his tongue made him both happy and satisfied. “In fact, I just like being with you. You have a...a comfortable aura.”

Harry swirled his straw around the plastic cup, and asked, “S-so how many people have you been with?” It was a strange question but it had bugged Harry for quite some time. Louis was of course older. He’d known of one girlfriend of his, but no one else. And someone as attractive and kind as Louis surely had not had simply one girlfriend.

“What do you mean by that?” Louis asked, cocking his head. Although he knew perfectly well what the question meant.

“You know what I mean.”
“Why does it matter?”
“I’m just curious.”

Louis huffed and finally admitted, “I’ve been with four girls and two guys,” the emphasis on ‘been’ allowed Harry to know exactly what was being implied. “Only one relationship was ever really serious. Why did you want to know so bad anyway?”

Harry shrugged and said, “I just did. I was curious.”
Louis groaned and began, “Look, Harry. I know I’m older, okay? I know that. I know that’s probably intimidating to you. But trust me, no one means more to me than you. No pressure. Just because I slept with those people doesn’t mean I expect the same from you. Like I said Harry, I like being with you. I go at your pace. I’m not a bastard. I’m not like those people your sister thinks I am. Don’t think that because of those other people you have to be the same. You don’t, Harry. You’re perfect just the way you are. I would be happy to spend the rest of my life just sitting with you. Not even kissing, touching. Just being there, with you. Do you understand me?”

Harry nodded. “I do, Louis. I just don’t understand you sometimes. You’re so sweet. And I mean...I’m just one person. I’m nothing...I’m so ordinary...I’m so-” he was cut of by a pair of lips landing on his own. Such a cheap and easy way to get someone to shut up.

They parted from Harry’s and Louis mumbled, “You talk too much sometimes,” he went to pull away completely but Harry dropped his now empty milkshake cup to the grounded and with both hands pulled Louis back to him. With a smirk he crashed their lips back together, and the rather feminine squeak of surprise that Louis let out made Harry even the more smug.

It was slightly awkward, as both were trying not to get too carried away. They were, after all, balancing on a tree branch and one slip could cause the two to come crashing to the ground. But with Louis’ strong and protective hands clamped around his waist Harry had never felt safer. And, for once Harry felt nothing but confidence, out in the open for anyone to see. This fact didn’t worry him. Instead he was more thrilled that this time he was sober, and there was no chance that he was going to throw up. Because this moment was perfect, as his tongue delicately danced with Louis’. Nothing too gross, nothing too much. Just simple flicks of appreciation, each one causing a spark.

“Eww! Fucking homos!” a voice was heard. With his hands still cupped around Louis’ face Harry turned towards the sound. Below them were three boys, each around the age of twelve. One holding an unlit cigarette, one with his hood up, and the other with a football.

“Sorry, can I help?” Louis called out; giving Harry’s hip a gentle squeeze to assure him it was okay. “What did you want, mate?” Louis yelled, looking at the boy with the cigarette clutched between his small fingers. “Did you need a lighter for your fag? Or are you just gonna hold it? I remember being young and trying to be cool,” he laughed and Harry did too.

“Oi, mate! Don’t you fucking talk to me like that! Fucking prick!” the twelve year old said, craning his head up to see the two older boys in the tree.

“Why don’t you come down here and say that to his fucking face?” the one with the football said. Adrenaline was pumping through Harry’s veins. He was desperate to say something. To make Louis laugh and to make these pathetic boys go away. But he never really was very good at confrontation...until now.

“Nah, sorry,” Harry found himself calling out. His voice loud and confident. “He’s a bit busy at the moment, can’t you tell?” he indicated to Louis’ hands on his hips, and the three boys made disgusted noises.
“What, does that gross you out?” Louis laughed, realising that Harry was keen to join in. He made brief eye contact with Harry, signalling what he was about to do. And with a sparkle in his eye Harry smiled. They lent forward and kissed again, right in front of the three boys. They made shouts of disgust and protest but it only encouraged the two older boys.

“You’re fucking sick!”
“Fucking gays!”
“Get the fuck out of here!”

And without taking his lips off of Louis’, Harry thrust his hand out towards the boys and stuck his middle finger up. He heard the boys react to the rude gesture and it caused him to giggle into Louis’ mouth. They didn’t detach their lips for another five minutes. And when they finally did the boys had gone and the place was deserted. Harry let out another giggle, this time awkward.

“Well, that showed ‘em,” Louis smiled; noticing the clouds in the sky had expanded and were looking rather grey. “Want to get out of here?”

Harry nodded and both jumped from the branch, Harry landing a little more successfully than he had done the other day. “So, where do you want to go?” Louis asked, moving to the car quickly to avoid the rain that was about to fall.

“I don’t know,” Harry shrugged, not entirely bothered so long as he was with Louis.

“Well, I mean we could go to mine? I’m sure Liam or Niall will be home. We could watch a film or something? Have a beer...or juice...or...something. I don’t know.” Louis unlocked the car and clambered in. Just as Harry plopped into his own seat he said, “Sounds good.”

“Good,” Louis smiled, driving off to the opposite side of town. While they drove Harry received a text. It was odd, because Harry never received texts. Not once. In fact he barely used his phone at all and only carried it in case of emergencies.

Gemma Styles: I dunno where the fuck you are. But I can kinda guess. I stalled for you. Told M&D u were at the library. They’re goin on holiday 2morrow. Random break to France. They’re gonna b gone for a week. Thought u might wanna know. I’ve invited my friends over 2morrow night. Didn’t know whether you wanted to bring you freak boyfriend over at some point too? X

Harry’s heart thudded and fluttered at the message. It was short, and less than kind. But the one short kiss at the end was enough to make Harry smile.

"Hey, Louis?" Harry asked, putting his phone down and turning towards the older boy in the driver’s seat.
"Yeah, Harry?" Louis replied, keen to know why the boys voice was so mysterious.

"What're you doing next week?"
"Not a lot, why?"
"...because I have a free house."
"Are you asked me over, Harry Styles?"

"Something like that," the younger boy replied with a smirk of a grin. At the sight of the boy Louis smirked too. Both somehow knowing that next week would be a major step up in their...somewhat relationship.

“Will there be anyone else in your house?” Louis asked. Not at all suggestive, merely wondering.

“My sister, Tobias, who’s our butler and a few maids,” Harry shrugged as if it were nothing. Louis’ eyebrows rose up. Suddenly realising just quite how rich Harry was.

“So...will they...you know, wonder who I am? Ask questions?” Louis tried to make the question sound casual.

“To be honest, Louis,” Harry started, watching as they turned into Louis’ street, “My house is so big they won’t even get a chance to see you. They barely remember that I live there. You’ll be like my little secret.”

At that news Louis smirked even more. He wasn’t suggesting anything...but the situation seemed to be perfect. “Are you being purposefully seductive, Styles?” he asked in a joking voice.

Harry hid his blush, and grinned. He admitted, “Maybe,” before running out of the car to avoid Louis’ fist which was ready to collide with his leg.

“You’re such a tease, Styles. Sometimes I don’t even think you realise it,” Louis laughed, exiting the car and walking over to Harry. Harry blushed and giggled, both walking to the house where loud music could be heard.

“Niall’s home,” Louis announced. Confirmed by the loud shouting that accompanied the hard music. “Ready?” Louis turned towards Harry.

“Ready for what?” Harry asked in confusion, but his question was answered when Niall came flying out the door. “Harry!” he called, tackling the boy to the ground. “Good to see you again, buddy!”

Harry smiled, and looked up at Louis from the ground. Louis gave a nod, and Harry asked, “Niall, what are you doing next week?”

“Working, buddy,” Niall said, picking himself up from the floor and offering a hand to Harry who took it gratefully. “Why?”

“I have a free house,” Harry mentioned casually.

At those words Niall’s eyes lit up. Next week would be fun and eventful. Harry could just tell. “Come on, Sir. Let’s get you a beer,” Niall said, marching the younger boy into the house and thrusting a beer bottle into his hand.

Harry felt like he had friends. For once his life was going perfect. And there was nothing in this world that could bring him down right now.