Smile For Him
Chapter Eight
Louis took a sip of his coffee and admired the boy in front of him. He cocked his head to the side a little, taking in the dark circles around his eyes and the red spot on his forehead, reminding Louis that this boy was still a teenager, and despite his obvious good looks, pimples were still an issue. “So, what do you like to do, Harry?” Louis asked after swallowing his mouthful of caffeine. Harry sniffed, his nose still a little red from the cold, “Not much.” Louis rolled his eyes, “Oh, come on. There must be something?” Harry shrugged, a little embarrassed at how uninteresting he is, “I like to read I guess.” Louis smiled, “Yeah? That’s cool. I’m more of a film man myself, books take too long.” Louis gave out a warm laugh, while Harry smiled politely in response. “I don’t think I like films,” Harry said, swirling his finger around in his coffee and licking off the frothed milk, “They’re too short, not enough detail.”
Louis narrowed his eyes in thought. It was clear to him then what the difference between himself and Harry was. Louis lived life in the fast lane, believing it was too short to just stand back and watch the world. He wanted to be in it, doing everything and experiencing what it had to offer, whether it be legal or not. Harry, on the other hand preferred to take a step back. He liked to over think things and analyze them until the very point of their being was destroyed. Films weren’t there to include detail and logic, there were there to be entertaining – well, the films Louis watched were anyway. Louis licked his lips, continuing to look at Harry. It was almost like Harry wasn’t meant to be this way. It was clear to Louis that there was something inside Harry, rattling in his ribcage bursting to be released. But Harry, from a very young age, had been restrained. Pushed away by the people he loved and bullied by others until he was left completely on his own. He had no friends to support him and no family to seek comfort in, he only had himself. He sought comfort in the books he read, because being able to lose himself in another world for a few hours a day distracted him from the very boring, almost depressing reality of his real life. But, Louis wanted to change that. Maybe he could show him another world that he could lose himself in. But one that he didn’t have to put down and forget about like his books.
“What do you like to do?” Harry asked quietly, quite obviously very keen to hear the answer. Louis smiled, “I like to do a lot of things. Meet people, go places. I like experiencing things. I like to test my limits. I like to...test my liver, particularly with tequila. I like to test my brain, my stomach, my heart, my lungs. I like risks. I like taking risks with my friends. I like talking to my mum, and my sisters. I like watching crap films, and eating pizza. I like music,” Louis laughed to himself, realising he was almost showing off, “I guess I just like a lot of things.” Harry’s eyes were wide with idolization. Harry wanted that. He was petrified of the idea, but he wanted that. He wanted friends, and he wanted to take risks with them. And then he realised...Louis could be that friend.
“Louis?” He asked, his cheeks blushing already. “Hmm?” Louis responded. “D-do you think we’re...friends?” His voice dropped at the last word as if it were rude. He squeezed his eyes shut until he felt a gloved hand place itself over his own. As Harry opened his eyes he was met by the widest grin he’d ever seen. “Of course I do.” Louis gave a brief squeeze of Harry’s hand before checking his mobile phone for the time, his face dropping. “It’s six o’clock, what time do you have to be home?” Harry’s eyes suddenly widened, knowing that dinner would be ready in about an hour, at that Tobias would no doubt be worried. “I’ll take that as a ‘now’ shall I?” Louis laughed, although clearly disappointed.
Both boys drank the last of their coffees before heading out of the cafe. Louis gave a small wave to the girl at the counter before heading outside, where it was still raining. “It’s so fucking cold!” Louis yelled over the winds, unlocking his car and throwing himself in, Harry following. Louis shivered, blasting the cars heater on full. “Same place?” Louis asked, turning to face the younger boy. Harry’s teeth chattered as he gave a simple nod. “Cool.” Louis said, switching the radio on and driving away. Harry was again greeted by loud music as he was yesterday. But Harry soon came to realise it was not the same band as he was introduced to yesterday. For a few minutes Harry bobbed his head to the music as he watched raindrops race past his window, but turned to look towards Louis in confusion when the volume was turned down. “I was wondering last night,” he began over the quieter music, “what kind of music you’re into?”
Harry’s cheeks became a light pink at the idea that Louis was thinking of him at night, but he cleared his throat and answered the question rather shamefully, “I’m not really. I-I don’t really listen to it music. I just don’t know many bands. All of the music people listen to in my school is a bit...”, “Shit?” Louis finished, a smile on his face. Harry smiled slightly, “Yes, exactly,” he thought for a moment, wondering if he should tell Louis that he downloaded the band from yesterday. He opened his mouth nervously, “A-although I did listen to a few songs from the band you showed me yesterday. Y’know, the one you played in your car?” A grin formed on Louis’ face quicker than a blink. “Oh, yeah? What did you think?” he seemed excited, although perhaps boastful. “I liked it.” Harry admitted truthfully. “Good.” was Louis’ response.
They arrived back to Harry’s house far too quickly than Harry would have liked, but he slumped his shoulders and picked his bag from the floor. “Shall I...Can I see you tomorrow?” Louis asked. Harry looked up through his eyelashes at the older boy. He realised he was being asked permission. They were on an equal level now. Louis wasn’t in control. “Yeah,” Harry said, “but maybe...could you maybe get there a little later. I-I don’t want people finding out that...that I’m going off with some stranger.” He tried to word it delicately, in case Louis became offended. But Louis simply smiled and nodded in agreement. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Harry’s grin formed automatically. His chapped lipped cracked and strained from the unusual pull of his mouth. He never grinned – or rather he hadn’t in a very long while. He was about to get out of the car before Louis put a hand on his shoulder. He turned. “You know something? You should smile more, Harry. You’re eyes look so much nicer when you do.”
Harry blushed a deep red and let out an awkward chuckle. “Bye.” He almost whispered before slamming the door shut and running to the gates of his house. “Bye.” Louis whispered back, although of course Harry could not hear him.
-
Harry entered the hallway as Tobias swung the door open as usual. The small smile that was still on his face instantly dropped when he saw his sister standing in front of him, her arms crossed and her face a scowl. “Where have you been?” she demanded. Tobias took this as a cue to escape to the kitchen, leaving the siblings on their own. “N-nowhe-“
“Don’t give me that bullshit. You’ve been gone for hours. You’re lucky Dad hasn’t realised yet. He’d kill you. And I know you went out yesterday too. So, tell me, where have you been?” Gemma took a step forward and leaned over her younger brother. “I-I told you, nowhere. I’ve just been at sch-“Gemma gave a harsh and bitter laugh, interrupting Harry’s excuse, “Liar!” she said. “Tell me, or I’ll tell Dad. Or even worse, Mum!” to anyone else it didn’t seem much of a threat. He was gone for two hours, maybe three tops, but to Harry, that was a terrifying thought. Robin would be angry. Very angry, but only because Harry had been sneaking out and lying. He couldn’t really give a fuck about where Harry was off to, because after all he didn’t really give a fuck about Harry. But his mum...well she was still a mum. Despite how distant she was, if she thought her baby was off doing something naughty she would become involved. And Harry never gets in trouble, and never does anything naughty, unlike his sister. “So, tell me.” Gemma said again.
Harry gulped. He was never very good at coming up with excuses. So instead he asked her, “Will you tell anyone if I tell you?” again, Gemma gave a bitter laugh. “Only if I have a reason to. It could be used as excellent blackmail. But, I’m just a nosey bitch, so, spill.” Harry shut his eyes, “I go to this club, okay? I didn’t want to tell anybody about it because I’m a little bit embarrassed. I thought Mum and Robin might be angry, and you’d just laugh at me.” Harry was surprised and rather impressed at himself at how quickly the lie rolled off of his tongue. Gemma raised her eyebrows, but indicated for him to carry on. “It’s a...music club. Down at the library. It’s on every day, not many people go but I-I thought it might be interesting. You said it yourself; I need to make some friends.”
Gemma showed a sign of disappointment, but Harry was relieved to find she believed him. “Well, that’s boring.” She said, looking down her nose at her younger brother. “B-boring?” Harry asked. “Yeah. I thought maybe it was going to be a bit more exciting than that. I thought maybe you’d been sneaking off with some forty year old French guy with a moustache who drove you to seedy bars and fucked you in the toilets. It would have been far more interesting. Honestly, you’re so boring.” Gemma rolled her eyes and went to go back to the living room. But Harry called her attention. “Wait!” he said, “Why a guy?” Gemma whipped her head back to face him, her brown curls flying around her face. “Well, a girl’s hardly going to want to fuck you, is she? Honestly, bro, get a haircut, or a tan, or some muscles. Or just... something. It’s embarrassing, seriously.” She walked back into the living room and left Harry in a state of confusion, embarrassment and somewhat wonder.
It was strange how nearly accurate Gemma’s assumption was. Older guy, cheap cafe...although there would be no ‘fucking’ in toilets, thank you very much. The idea alone made Harry blush furiously. He was by no means a homophobic, but rather couldn’t see himself in that state of intimacy with anyone, let alone an older and stronger male...well, he assumed Louis was strong anyway...
Louis narrowed his eyes in thought. It was clear to him then what the difference between himself and Harry was. Louis lived life in the fast lane, believing it was too short to just stand back and watch the world. He wanted to be in it, doing everything and experiencing what it had to offer, whether it be legal or not. Harry, on the other hand preferred to take a step back. He liked to over think things and analyze them until the very point of their being was destroyed. Films weren’t there to include detail and logic, there were there to be entertaining – well, the films Louis watched were anyway. Louis licked his lips, continuing to look at Harry. It was almost like Harry wasn’t meant to be this way. It was clear to Louis that there was something inside Harry, rattling in his ribcage bursting to be released. But Harry, from a very young age, had been restrained. Pushed away by the people he loved and bullied by others until he was left completely on his own. He had no friends to support him and no family to seek comfort in, he only had himself. He sought comfort in the books he read, because being able to lose himself in another world for a few hours a day distracted him from the very boring, almost depressing reality of his real life. But, Louis wanted to change that. Maybe he could show him another world that he could lose himself in. But one that he didn’t have to put down and forget about like his books.
“What do you like to do?” Harry asked quietly, quite obviously very keen to hear the answer. Louis smiled, “I like to do a lot of things. Meet people, go places. I like experiencing things. I like to test my limits. I like to...test my liver, particularly with tequila. I like to test my brain, my stomach, my heart, my lungs. I like risks. I like taking risks with my friends. I like talking to my mum, and my sisters. I like watching crap films, and eating pizza. I like music,” Louis laughed to himself, realising he was almost showing off, “I guess I just like a lot of things.” Harry’s eyes were wide with idolization. Harry wanted that. He was petrified of the idea, but he wanted that. He wanted friends, and he wanted to take risks with them. And then he realised...Louis could be that friend.
“Louis?” He asked, his cheeks blushing already. “Hmm?” Louis responded. “D-do you think we’re...friends?” His voice dropped at the last word as if it were rude. He squeezed his eyes shut until he felt a gloved hand place itself over his own. As Harry opened his eyes he was met by the widest grin he’d ever seen. “Of course I do.” Louis gave a brief squeeze of Harry’s hand before checking his mobile phone for the time, his face dropping. “It’s six o’clock, what time do you have to be home?” Harry’s eyes suddenly widened, knowing that dinner would be ready in about an hour, at that Tobias would no doubt be worried. “I’ll take that as a ‘now’ shall I?” Louis laughed, although clearly disappointed.
Both boys drank the last of their coffees before heading out of the cafe. Louis gave a small wave to the girl at the counter before heading outside, where it was still raining. “It’s so fucking cold!” Louis yelled over the winds, unlocking his car and throwing himself in, Harry following. Louis shivered, blasting the cars heater on full. “Same place?” Louis asked, turning to face the younger boy. Harry’s teeth chattered as he gave a simple nod. “Cool.” Louis said, switching the radio on and driving away. Harry was again greeted by loud music as he was yesterday. But Harry soon came to realise it was not the same band as he was introduced to yesterday. For a few minutes Harry bobbed his head to the music as he watched raindrops race past his window, but turned to look towards Louis in confusion when the volume was turned down. “I was wondering last night,” he began over the quieter music, “what kind of music you’re into?”
Harry’s cheeks became a light pink at the idea that Louis was thinking of him at night, but he cleared his throat and answered the question rather shamefully, “I’m not really. I-I don’t really listen to it music. I just don’t know many bands. All of the music people listen to in my school is a bit...”, “Shit?” Louis finished, a smile on his face. Harry smiled slightly, “Yes, exactly,” he thought for a moment, wondering if he should tell Louis that he downloaded the band from yesterday. He opened his mouth nervously, “A-although I did listen to a few songs from the band you showed me yesterday. Y’know, the one you played in your car?” A grin formed on Louis’ face quicker than a blink. “Oh, yeah? What did you think?” he seemed excited, although perhaps boastful. “I liked it.” Harry admitted truthfully. “Good.” was Louis’ response.
They arrived back to Harry’s house far too quickly than Harry would have liked, but he slumped his shoulders and picked his bag from the floor. “Shall I...Can I see you tomorrow?” Louis asked. Harry looked up through his eyelashes at the older boy. He realised he was being asked permission. They were on an equal level now. Louis wasn’t in control. “Yeah,” Harry said, “but maybe...could you maybe get there a little later. I-I don’t want people finding out that...that I’m going off with some stranger.” He tried to word it delicately, in case Louis became offended. But Louis simply smiled and nodded in agreement. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Harry’s grin formed automatically. His chapped lipped cracked and strained from the unusual pull of his mouth. He never grinned – or rather he hadn’t in a very long while. He was about to get out of the car before Louis put a hand on his shoulder. He turned. “You know something? You should smile more, Harry. You’re eyes look so much nicer when you do.”
Harry blushed a deep red and let out an awkward chuckle. “Bye.” He almost whispered before slamming the door shut and running to the gates of his house. “Bye.” Louis whispered back, although of course Harry could not hear him.
-
Harry entered the hallway as Tobias swung the door open as usual. The small smile that was still on his face instantly dropped when he saw his sister standing in front of him, her arms crossed and her face a scowl. “Where have you been?” she demanded. Tobias took this as a cue to escape to the kitchen, leaving the siblings on their own. “N-nowhe-“
“Don’t give me that bullshit. You’ve been gone for hours. You’re lucky Dad hasn’t realised yet. He’d kill you. And I know you went out yesterday too. So, tell me, where have you been?” Gemma took a step forward and leaned over her younger brother. “I-I told you, nowhere. I’ve just been at sch-“Gemma gave a harsh and bitter laugh, interrupting Harry’s excuse, “Liar!” she said. “Tell me, or I’ll tell Dad. Or even worse, Mum!” to anyone else it didn’t seem much of a threat. He was gone for two hours, maybe three tops, but to Harry, that was a terrifying thought. Robin would be angry. Very angry, but only because Harry had been sneaking out and lying. He couldn’t really give a fuck about where Harry was off to, because after all he didn’t really give a fuck about Harry. But his mum...well she was still a mum. Despite how distant she was, if she thought her baby was off doing something naughty she would become involved. And Harry never gets in trouble, and never does anything naughty, unlike his sister. “So, tell me.” Gemma said again.
Harry gulped. He was never very good at coming up with excuses. So instead he asked her, “Will you tell anyone if I tell you?” again, Gemma gave a bitter laugh. “Only if I have a reason to. It could be used as excellent blackmail. But, I’m just a nosey bitch, so, spill.” Harry shut his eyes, “I go to this club, okay? I didn’t want to tell anybody about it because I’m a little bit embarrassed. I thought Mum and Robin might be angry, and you’d just laugh at me.” Harry was surprised and rather impressed at himself at how quickly the lie rolled off of his tongue. Gemma raised her eyebrows, but indicated for him to carry on. “It’s a...music club. Down at the library. It’s on every day, not many people go but I-I thought it might be interesting. You said it yourself; I need to make some friends.”
Gemma showed a sign of disappointment, but Harry was relieved to find she believed him. “Well, that’s boring.” She said, looking down her nose at her younger brother. “B-boring?” Harry asked. “Yeah. I thought maybe it was going to be a bit more exciting than that. I thought maybe you’d been sneaking off with some forty year old French guy with a moustache who drove you to seedy bars and fucked you in the toilets. It would have been far more interesting. Honestly, you’re so boring.” Gemma rolled her eyes and went to go back to the living room. But Harry called her attention. “Wait!” he said, “Why a guy?” Gemma whipped her head back to face him, her brown curls flying around her face. “Well, a girl’s hardly going to want to fuck you, is she? Honestly, bro, get a haircut, or a tan, or some muscles. Or just... something. It’s embarrassing, seriously.” She walked back into the living room and left Harry in a state of confusion, embarrassment and somewhat wonder.
It was strange how nearly accurate Gemma’s assumption was. Older guy, cheap cafe...although there would be no ‘fucking’ in toilets, thank you very much. The idea alone made Harry blush furiously. He was by no means a homophobic, but rather couldn’t see himself in that state of intimacy with anyone, let alone an older and stronger male...well, he assumed Louis was strong anyway...