The Story Left Untold

The next few days consisted of the same thing. The open road, the same concerts between both bands every night, and not to mention Charlie and Jimmie. It was like I couldn't escape either one of them. I wouldn't have minded if I was being honest if it was just Jimmie around. But when you throw in Charlie it was getting harder and harder to be sane.

Thankfully Sophie had been coming over to the bus all the time, and we discussed more than once our annoyance with my once best friend. It felt weird to finally be talking to a girl about my problems, but it was actually nice. I hated to admit it but I really did miss gossiping about everything.

It wasn't just Sophie either though, Tessa had been over every now and then talking to me about random things. She was one of the weirdest craziest girls I has ever met, but I was perfectly fine with that. I had spent the past months as serious as serious could get, so to have someone like Tessa around was nice.

Even though I now had Sophie and Tessa to talk to if I wanted, things still weren't the very good. I was trying my hardest to keep all my evil emotions inside of me, but it was a challenge. Alex seemed to think everything was going perfectly since I was hanging around girls now, so him and the guys had been laying off. The constant questions of if I was okay or not started to die down.

At first it felt good to not have any of them breathing down my neck every two seconds stalking my thoughts and feelings. But the more they strayed away from me, the more I felt like I couldn't breathe. It was like I couldn't even win. If they were all around me I couldn't breathe, if they weren't around I couldn't breathe. I felt like I had this non ending asthma attack going on inside me, and no inhaler could help me.

"Hey Kae," I let out a breath, looking up at Charlie who had now joined me on the couch. Her hair was curled and her shirt was well it was pretty revealing. I knew that she was going out with Jimmie again tonight for the fifth time this week, but I tried to ignore that fact as she began to talk.

"So what's up? You've been pretty moody lately." she stated, staring down at her fingernails.

No shit I've been moody lately, ever been depressed? "Its just that time of month," I said slowly.

"Yeah well it's definitely showing," I just nodded my head unsure of what to say.

"So something happened last night," she started excitedly. This was the problem with Charlie. She thought that we were still best friend's like in high school. That she could just spill out her life drama, and just like in high school never listen to my problems but make me listen to hers.

"Jimmie and I kissed, and well Kae. I think he's going to ask me out tonight. Like on a date? I mean we've been hanging out all week, but it hasn't been like serious or anything. Isn't this crazy?" Charlie also must have let it slip through her mind that I had once dated Jimmie myself, and that it was sort of a rule for so called 'friends' to not date other friend's exes.

"Um, congrats," I said quietly. I felt a headache coming on once again, and I desperately wanted to be away from Charlie. I didn't want to deal with her and her Jimmie problems.

"Kaelynn, I'm going for a walk wanna come?" Alex questioned, poking his head into the room. I nodded, and waved by to Charlie, thankful for my heat friend at this point.

"So how is having Charlie on tour?" he questioned, as we walked our of the venue.

"It's okay I suppose," I mumbled.

"Yeah? And how are you doing? You seem to be getting better," Alex spoke gently. I just nodded my head unsure of what to say. I mean what exactly do you say to something like that? Do you agree with it and say 'yeah I have been getting better' or do you tell the truth and tell them what's exactly been on your mind.

Alex and I stayed silent though the rest of the walk. When we finally got back to the venue, Alex parted ways from me to go rehearse and I stayed outside, thinking about the past week. Things kept getting in messy in my life and I hated it. I desperately wanted to have something be okay for once, but it never was. Between my the terrible state of my mind, and the constant awareness of my ex best friend and ex boy friend becoming closer than being just friends, I was growing tired and weak.

"Hey," I looked up from the squatting position I was in against the brick walk of the venue, and stared at Jimmie. He sat down beside me and watch the cars pass by.

"So um you excited for going back to Michigan soon?" he asked. Shit. Well thanks for adding another cherry on my shitty ice cream sundae of a life Jimmie.

"I guess," I spoke quietly. Jimmie was silent for a good five minutes before he spoke up once again.

"So how are you?" I knew it was suppose to be a question that was aimed to try to start up the conversation again. But there was something inside me that sort of just snapped. I don't know what made me do it but as soon as I opened my mouth I couldn't close it.

"Terrible. Absolutely terrible. I mean my best friends don't seem to care about me and are forgetting the fact that I have a terrible mental state, but I also have my stupid ex best friend on this fucking tour. And not only that but she desperately wants to get into my ex boyfriends pants, and not to mention I really can't even stand her. It kills me every time she tells me about her nights with you. I honestly just sort of want to punch her in the face. But it's a good thing I now have Sophie and Tessa to talk about to even they don't have the slightest clue on what the fuck is wrong with me. I mean what the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I even on this fucking planet, because every day it just gets worse and worse and you know might as well just fucking die," I'm sure at this point I was red in the face. I was tired of being sad, and anger had finally taken over.

"Every day I wake up to have to face the stupid whore known as Charlie, and to be give rude stares at me because what? Because I don't talk! Well I am sorry I don't feel the need to spill my fucking guts out to every single person I meet. I am sorry that I am not like very fucking person on this planet. I am sorry that I can't have a normal okay past like every other girl. I am sorry I am not fucking perfect. But neither are they! All they fucking do is judge. All anybody ever fucking does is judge! It gets old real fast, and I am so fucking tired going through this all!" without thinking I grabbed the first thing I could, which unfortunately for me was my cell phone. I flung out on to the street, and in a second it was smashed into pieces by a car.

"Kaelynn, are-is-do you- what I mean to say- Kae what- How long have you kept all of that in for?" Jimmie spoke up, staring at me intently, while I just kept my eyes on my now broken cell phone.

"This whole tour," I said nonchalantly. I felt like a ton of weights were finally taken off of me.

"Why didn't you tell someone?" he questioned.

"Because I can't. I can't tell anyone anything anymore," Jimmie said nothing, but eventually started to speak again.

"Kaelynn you know I-I don't like Charlie right? If she likes me, she's gonna have to get over it. I don't have feelings for her, and I never have," he said quietly.

Thankfully I was saved by Tessa and I didn't have to respond to his statement. "Hey Kae, I need you to help me figure out which shoes to wear tonight! Josh is taking me on a date!" she announced happily. I nodded, and wordlessly followed her towards the buses. All I could think about was the fact that Jimmie didn't like Charlie. What I couldn't figure out though, was why I was so happy about that fact.