What Have I Done?

Carrie woke up not remembering where she was or what had happened. Her first observation? She was not wearing any clothes. Her next observation? She was in bed with someone. Not just someone, she realized. “Jimmy...” she said softly, covering her mouth with her hand. He had an arm draped over her and as she turned away from him, he pulled her into him. “What did I do?” She quietly asked herself.

************************

Carrie crawled out of bed and quietly slipped her clothes on. She had no idea where she was going or what she was going to do. The first thing she had to do was check on James. She didn't know why she felt that way, she just knew she had to.

She drove back to Jimmy's house, tears running down her cheeks. She'd just slept with Jimmy. She couldn't deny that. But the feeling she got kissing Greg was so much stronger than anything she'd ever felt with Jimmy that she wasn't sure she could deny Greg much longer.

She had a feeling Greg liked her. He always seemed keen to wanting her around. He even tried convincing her to go on road trips with them. She never took him up on the offer. She couldn't possibly. And yet, here she was, having to chose between the guy she'd loved her whole life and the guy who had been there for her through all the tough times. Like the last time she'd come to Detroit.

“Damn it Carrie! I told you this was going to happen.” Greg said, running a hand over his face. Carrie had just gotten back from Detroit. Seeing her ex, Jimmy, had drudged up old feelings, just like it did every time she saw him. “Carrie...” Greg's features softened, noticing how worked up his best friend really was. “I'm sorry he keeps doing this to you. Maybe you shouldn't...”

“Shouldn't what?” Carrie asked with a hiccup, wiping her eyes free of tears. “Go to Detroit? Gregory, we have this conversation every time I come back. And each time I tell you that I'm fine. Each time you argue that I'm not and it always ends with me agreeing that I shouldn't go back.”

“So what should we do?” Greg asked, looking pointedly at Carrie. “Just forget this happened? Forget that he's continuing to rip your heart out? Because you don't understand how fucking hard this is for me. To watch you continue to be in pain like this. He shouldn't do this to you. There has to be something else that pushes you over the edge. What is it?”

Carrie stayed silent. Nobody knew her secret. Not Jimmy. Not her parents. Nobody. Why would she tell Greg. “Oh, so you're going to keep it from me?” Greg's voice sounded distant, as if he was two rooms away. “CARRIE!” Greg snapped her out of her thoughts. “What are you keeping from me?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all. I really need to take your advice and just stay away from Detroit.”

“Carrie.... I just care about you. And I don't....”

“I know Greg.” Carrie said, getting up from where she was sitting. She walked over and kissed Greg on the cheek. “I appreciate it so much Greg. I don't know what I'd do without you.”

He wrapped her up in a hug. “Don't worry about it.” He chuckled slightly. “Are we still on for movie night tomorrow?”

“Heck yes!” Carrie laughed. She said goodbye and headed to her apartment.

She was now regretting the decision to not tell him. She knew it changed everything. Especially since everything was now out on the table.

When she pulled into the driveway of Jimmy's house, there was a car she didn't recognize. She pulled in, put the car in park and walked slowly up the driveway to the front door. When she opened it, she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

“Rachel?!” Carrie was dumbfounded. Rachel and Jimmy were divorced. Not that it mattered much to her at the moment.

“You slut.” Rachel didn't even wait for Carrie to enter the door. She crossed the room in three strides and slapped Carrie as hard as she could. “You slept with my husband.”

Carrie clutched her left cheek, wondering what the hell she'd done to deserve this. “No I didn't.”

“Oh really?! Then why the hell is your shit here? You've been..... you've been around James!” Rachel wanted to scream.

“And if I have?”

“I don't know how the hell he could trust you around any kid. You couldn't even be trusted around your own.” Rachel spat, not worrying about the backlash.

Carrie stumbled backward like she'd been punched in the gut by Thornton. “You bitch.”

“You can blame me all you want... but it was you that killed that baby. Not me. And to think that you telling Jimmy would change things.”

“I told Jimmy three days ago... if that.”

“I know. He called. Wanted to know if it was true. Of course, I told him it wasn't. Why would I tell him otherwise?” Rachel smirked.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

“You had what I wanted. You continued to come out here, even though he was perfectly happy with me.”

“YOU SLEPT WITH ANOTHER GUY WHILE JIMMY WAS ON THE ROAD!” Carrie couldn't contain her voice anymore. She was tired of being considered the “other woman”.

“That doesn't matter. If you hadn't been sneaking around Detroit with my husband.....”

“Rachel....” Carrie took a deep breath. “You are the most despicable person I've ever met. You don't deserve any sympathy and yet, I can't help it. I feel bad for you. I really do. The fact that you feel like you can treat people the way you do...”

“I slept with Jimmy while you two were dating.” Rachel interrupted Carrie.

“What?”

“I did. More than once. You want to know why he was always busy? He was with me.”

“I knew that.” Carrie sighed, fresh tears starting to form. She never wanted her worst nightmare to be confirmed.

“So you can leave Detroit now.” Rachel spat. ”I don't want you around my son. And I definitely don't want you around Jimmy.”

”You can go to hell Rachel.”

”I'll see you there.” Rachel smirked again before turning on her heel and walking into the bedroom. Carrie looked down at her feet to see her bags sitting in the hall. Rachel had packed her stuff. Carrie picked up her bag and headed to the door.