The Inbetween

It had been a week since Holly left – almost two weeks, actually. Nathan opened his eyes then immediately closed them again; it was too bright. He became aware of his stiff neck and groaned, pulling his right arm up from resting on the floor and throwing it over his eyes.

“Oh, you’re up. Thank God,” he heard Tom’s voice before what he could only presume was the TV was turned up. “Max was gonna kill me if I woke you.” Nathan peeked out from under his arm and squinted at Tom. He was leaning forward in his seat, watching what sounded like the football intently. “How’re you feeling?” Tom moved his head slightly towards Nathan but didn’t take his eyes from the TV. When Nathan didn’t answer Tom tore his eyes from the TV to see Nathan had rolled over and was facing the back of the sofa, shaking his head.

“Peachy,” Nathan mumbled. If Tom hadn’t been listening for him speaking he probably wouldn’t have heard him speaking at all. Tom held his breath, trying to keep his anger at bay; there was no use in him getting angry. He blew his breath out silently before turning his eyes back to the TV. “Sort of fucking question is that anyway?” Nathan mumbled again.

Tom rolled his eyes and switched the TV off, throwing his feet up on the coffee table and letting the remote fall to his side; “Right, come on, what’s wrong with you?” He was met with silence. “Seriously, Nathan, if you don’t start talking to me I’m going to fucking lose it.” More silence, although Tom did see Nathan tense up. Good; he was getting somewhere. “Honestly Nathan, you’ve spent the past two weeks moping around. Have you even tried to think of a way to help?” Tom knew he was sounding harsh, but he reckoned this was the kick Nathan needed, even if Nathan might hate him for a few days.

Nathan turned around and sat up, fire in his eyes. “Of course I-”

“Really?” Tom cut in sceptically, removing his feet from the coffee table and planting them on the floor, “I find that hard to believe.”

“How dare you-”

“I’ve been to her grave, Siva and Jay went back to the café, Max has been looking up newspaper reports on it. What have you done? You’ve looked at all her stuff in your room, even though you know that’s not going to do anything. You and Holly figured that out the night she left!” Tom didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but he’d started and there was no chance he’d be able to pull it back now.

“You know why I can’t-”

“I do, Nathan, and I can never imagine what losing a little sister in a way like that would be, but you were lucky enough to have her come back to you, and for her to spend a day with you. Lots of people never get that. So just stop your fucking sulking about, get up off of your arse, and do something productive to try and figure this out! She’s probably here right now. She probably doesn’t like the fact that I’m shouting at you like this. But I’m sure as Hell she wouldn’t like the way you’ve been laying around feeling sorry for yourself. She told you herself, that’s not how she wanted you – or any of us – to be. You’re not the only one suffering through this; we all lost a friend, too.”

Tom was right. Holly didn’t like the way Tom was treating her brother, but she also didn’t like the way Nathan’s attitude to the whole thing had changed. For the first couple of days she brushed it off as him being upset that she was gone again, but after a week, when everyone else started searching for ways to figure it out and he was staying in the house, she started to feel bad. This was her fault; she’d shown herself to him and now he couldn’t cope with having lost her twice. But now, nearing the two-week mark, she just felt angry. He had seemingly just lost interest; he didn’t seem to care anymore. So yes, the way Tom was treating Nathan frightened her slightly, but Nathan definitely needed it.

She’d tried over the past two weeks to communicate with the five of them again, but nothing she had tried had worked, so she gave up with that and occasionally followed them around. She’d followed Max the day he’d decided to look up newspaper reports, and she’d been really impressed. That hadn’t even crossed her mind. It seemed to bring up nothing new, though, and so she’d flitted between the boys.

Holly glanced at Nathan when he stood up. She was sitting with her back against the TV stand, directly across from Tom. “Tom, just do yourself a favour and stop talking.”

“Do myself a favour?” Tom repeated, standing up to follow him. Holly sighed and rolled her eyes when they both left the room. She pulled herself up and dragged her feet after them. “Nathan, look at yourself! Do you think she’d like this? You’ve just lost interest in life, mate!”

“Can you fucking blame me, Tom?!” Nathan cried after grabbing his jacket. He spun around to face Tom who stopped walking. Nathan glared at Tom before turning and wrenching the front door handle open.

“Where are you going?” Tom asked but Nathan slammed the front door in his face. Tom growled and grabbed the door handle; “Holly if you’re here get a grip of your fucking brother.” He wrenched the door open to see Nathan walking down the front path. Holly squeezed by Tom. “Nathan!” He shouted, “For fuck’s sake, Nath!”

Holly stopped halfway between Tom and Nathan when she saw Max walking down the street. He had a couple of bags in his hands, clearly having been shopping. He frowned between the two boys in front of him. “What’s going on?” He asked as Nathan stormed towards him. Nathan ignored him though, knocking his shoulder as he went. Holly glared at her brothers retreating figure. She watched Max stop walking and turn his head after Nathan before turning to look at Tom who was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest and shaking his head. “What’s up with the kid?” Max asked as he walked in the front gate.

“I told him to buck his act up,” Tom shrugged. “Little shit just got up and walked away from me.”

“Give him time.”

“He’s had time, Max.”

“It’s only been a couple of weeks.”

“I know,” Tom sighed as they both stood on the front step watching Nathan continue to storm down the street. “I know I sound like such a dick, but someone’s got to get him up and doing something. Even if it’s nothing to do with Holly, he has to get up.” Tom stressed.

Max sighed, lifting his hand to rub at Tom’s ear as he walked into the house; “He’ll be alright. Come on, Jay will be home soon.”

Holly watched as Tom took one last glance at Nathan before smiling sadly at nothing. “I’m sorry, Holly,” he said quietly. Holly smiled the same way as Tom. She wanted to hug him but knew she couldn’t, so instead watched him close the door before turning to face the direction that Nathan had gone. He’d turned the corner now and she tore off down the street after him. She had no idea where he was going, but he was angry enough right now that he could let anything happen to him, and she wasn’t going to let that happen.