The Roof

Vanessa made her way to Sound Garden to drop off her application. It was pretty standard stuff, had she gone to prison? Did she have transportation? What was her previous job experience?

Luckily Vanessa did not have a criminal record, she had her car Lucy, and she worked at a country club for the past few summers.

Garrett was behind the counter again but this time another boy was there with him. Vanessa approached them and riddled out her options for the situation.

She could drop off the application and bolt. That sounded the best to her, but she knew it would be rude. She could start a conversation about the weather, but that would be weird because in Arizona, the weather was pretty standard. She could talk about that new band she was listening to, but they looked pretty indie, so they probably already heard of them. She could talk about school, but what if they weren’t in high school anymore? Then she would just look dumb for saying that. Vanessa just resolved to ask how the two were doing.

“Hey Garrett. How are you?” That sounded like the safest option.

“I am doing good Vanessa. This is Eric by the way. We call him Halvo.”

Does that mean I can call him Halvo? thought Vanessa.

“Nice to meet you Eric. I’m Vanessa.” Her awkwardness beat her on that one.

“I like that name. I heard you were applying? That’s sick. You’ll like it here.”

Eric seemed like a fire cracker. He was just boundless energy. His sentences didn’t all connect and they were choppy. Even still, Vanessa couldn’t help but be attracted to him. But in the back of her mind she knew they would never work. They wouldn’t even get a chance to try. Boys like Eric didn’t give girls like Vanessa the time of day. Sure she was pretty, but
blogging was her life and she had absolutely no people skills.

Vanessa just nodded her head.

“This is awkward, but you are going to need to take a drug test. It is a mandatory thing. I probably should have told you earlier. Do you still want to apply?”

Vanessa scoffed at the idea. Her not apply because of a drug test? That was almost laughable. The only drug Vanessa had any knowledge about was Advil and Pamprin Max.

“No, I should be alright.” Vanessa said trying to sound cool and mysterious. The boys didn’t seem to take notice so she figured she was in the clear.

“Alright. Well you are going to need to take this to the nearest clinic and get the test done. You have 24 hours which is kind of rough and their hours suck, but they should be open a little bit longer if you want to go today.”

“Alright thanks.”

---------

Vanessa drove to a local clinic and sat in the waiting room. She wondered what the test would be like. She figured it would just be a simple saliva test or something.

She read up on one of the gossip magazines. Britney was finally getting her life back together, Miley was no longer the Disney princess she used to be, and Justin Bieber has a new girlfriend. She never understood why magazines like this even sold. All of these headlines could be summed up to the celebrities just growing up. Of course they are going to change. She also thought it was ridiculous how people cared about these things. It was their life, so let them do as they want.

“Vanessa? Vanessa King?” She looked around for the source of her name and saw the nurse waving paper work.

“Right here! Coming!” Vanessa called.

She passed the sneezing woman, the man with a bullet wound, and a scared looking 16 year old with her boyfriend. This was not a place she hoped to return to again.

“Alright, empty your pockets.” Vanessa was confused. She didn’t understand how she could possibly cheat on this spit test. It wasn’t as if she could put someone else’s saliva on the slide in front of the nurse.

Vanessa gave her a questioning look, but complied.

“Alright take this cup and fill it to about this line with urine. Do not flush.” She handed her a little cup wrapped in a sterile bag. Was the nurse kidding? Did she actually have to pee in the cup?

What an adventure.

Vanessa used the bathroom and remembered not to flush. She handed the nurse her cup of pee and wanted to escape that vile place.

The paper work said you had to return it to your place of business. This was the most inconvenient drug test, Vanessa thought.

She drove back to the mall. Hopefully she would earn enough money to pay for her gas. She didn’t have the most fuel efficient car.

When she entered the store, Garrett was gone and it was just Eric and John.
“I have my drug test papers.”

Vanessa handed them to Eric who quickly looked over them. “You passed. I will make sure Ryan gets them.”

“Yeah, good thing I shoved a vial of baby urine up my butt, otherwise I never would have passed.” The second she said that, she regretted it. The boys gave her a questioning look almost wondering if they had heard correctly. When they saw her blush with embarrassment, they knew they did. John and Eric fell to the ground laughing. Eric’s laugh was the mix of a
snort and a cackle. And John was making no noise at all. He just dropped.

“Baby urine.. up your butt hole... Oh God..” Eric said between laughs. Vanessa wasn’t sure if they took her seriously or not.

“That is too funny.” John said as he raised himself up.

“Yeah. It was a joke. I didn’t stick any foreign objects up my anus.” The boys started into another violet fit of laughter. She decided it would be for the best if she just stopped talking.

She bumped into Garrett on the way out.

“Why are they on the ground?”

“Nothing. See you later?”

“Yeah see you later.”

Vanessa knew Garrett would ask the guys about their outburst. She just hoped it wouldn’t be mentioned again.

Garrett seemed dependable enough to not bring it up. He seemed like a nice guy. Vanessa decided she should try to hook Gissy up with him. Who knows, he could be just what she needed.