Nothing Personal

Today was the day. The day they would finally find out what the hell was going on with Do. Zo was thankful that she had graduated already since she could stay with Do while her mom and Colter were at work and school. Not that her mom wasn’t too far away. She worked a few floors up from where Do was so if anything happened all they had to do was page her and she could come.

Do was still sedated, but they had started to wean him off of it a little so he was able to stay awake a little longer. He said that he wasn’t in as much pain but that it was still there. Zo tried to see that as a good thing and maybe what had happened had just been a bad day and that he was ok now and they could back to getting him treatments so he could be a healthy seven year old again.

He was sleeping again at that moment and Zo was playing with the necklace Alex had given her and reading a book. She had one headphone in and was listening to one of her favorite bands and trying her hardest to get her mind off of Do.

Alex was busy doing some press things that day so he wasn’t that talkative, not that she was holding it against him or anything. She had kept him from his work long enough in the last few days and felt horrible about it. She shouldn’t have been that selfish and made the rest of his band start to question him because she needed to whine to him.

A knock came to the door and she turned around in her seat to see Colter and Penny walking in. She smiled and took her headphones out and shut her book as she stood to hug her best friend tightly.

“How are you holding up?” Penny asked as Zo sighed and glanced to her brother. Since when did they get so comfy cozy? A few months ago the two of them hardly talked and now they were talking more and walking in together?

Colter must have caught the look on her face because he cleared his throat and began to explain himself. “We uh ran into each other in the lobby and walked up together.”

She just nodded and glanced to Penny to see if she wanted to add anything but her best friend just shrugged and nodded agreeing with her brother. She let it go, really not want to get into it at the moment. She had too many other things on her mind.

Besides Do, Alex was also on her mind. Ever since he had called her babe the day before, she had started to over think everything. Was Alex also feeling something? She had started to think that it could be possible, especially after what he had said the day before. But, he could have also just said it in a friendly matter. She and Penny said it to each other every now and then. But still, that almost wasn’t the same thing.

Zo was so confused and her head hurt whenever she tried to think about it but at least it got her mind off of things. She just didn’t know what to do. What if he actually didn’t have the same feelings and she made a fool of herself when she asked? Or what if she really found out that he did? Then what? He still hasn’t told her that much about himself and she really didn’t see how they could make it anything more between them besides friends if they hadn’t actually met in person.

“Hey Zo!” Penny called and she snapped out of her thoughts.

She caught Penny’s glance to where her hand was at her neck playing with Alex’s necklace and pulled her hand away. Ever since she had gotten the necklace, Penny had been suspicious but never said anything. She probably hoped that Zo would say anything, but her friend was sadly mistaken. She couldn’t say anything. Not yet anyway.

“Yeah what? Sorry, my mind is on a billion things.” Zo replied and Penny just rolled her eyes.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go get food with me. I’m hungry and you look like you could eat something too.” Zooey just nodded as she set her book down and followed her friend out the door to the cafeteria.

They spent some time down there just talking, though they didn’t talk about the things that they wanted to discuss with each other. Zo really wanted to know what was going on between Penny and her brother and she knew that Penny wanted to know what was up with the strange note and gift that she had gotten for graduation. She didn’t put anything past Penny and figured that she had already gone through the box and read the note that Alex had sent her.

She hadn’t said anything about it yet but knew that she wanted to. But both girls were so stubborn that they weren’t going to ask until the other brought it up first. Which neither of them were going to. For some reason, it really felt like they were pulling away from each other, and Zo didn’t know how to fix it. It seemed the closer she got to Alex and worried about Do, the farther they got from each other.

Why couldn’t things just be easy like they used to be? When they were young and had nothing to worry about? Before she had even began talking to Alex and before Do had gotten sick? Not that she wanted to get rid of Alex, just that things used to be different and she was wondering if it would ever be that way again.

*Gee thanks, I see how you think about me.* Alex said when he picked up on her thoughts. She smiled into her drink to hide it from Penny since it would just be another thing for her friend to glare at her about and didn’t want to deal with Penny at that moment. They were hours away from finding out what was going on with Do.

*Aw Alex, I still love you. You know I do. It’s just a lot has happened lately and I just want things to go back to normal.*

He sighed, *what’s going on kiddo?* She sighed and gave in telling him about Penny and Colter and about Penny suspecting something going on between them. She left out the part about her having feelings for him since she didn’t want to embarrass herself. Alex started to freak out about how he shouldn’t have sent the package and she assured him that it was fine. That it wasn’t him, it was just Penny being Penny.

She sighed as she saw Penny glancing at her again with a annoyed look. *Hey, I should go pay attention to Penny so that she stops glaring at me.*

*Way to get rid of me,* she snorted in response and he just laughed. *Just kidding babe, I’ll talk to you later. Good luck on Do’s doctors consult. Keep me in the loop, yeah?* She agreed and gave a small thanks and then turned her attention back to her best friend.

She got a call from her mom a while later saying that she just got to Do’s room and the consult was in a hour. Penny and her grabbed their things and headed back up to the room. When they got there, Zo’s mom smiled weakly to them and Zo hugged her tightly.

They all sat there quietly not saying anything unless they needed to or if Do woke up. Alex was chatting idly to Zo to keep her mind off of things as she stared at the clock and watched as each minute ticked by closer and closer to the results.

Finally, the time came and the doctor decided to come late, as if to mess with them and make them worry even more. Penny stayed with Do as Zo, her mom, and Colter made their way out into the hall and down to a small private office. This was it, the moment of truth. The moment they found out if Do was even worse off than they had thought.

The doctor, who he had introduced himself as David Stevens, cleared his throat and settled himself behind a old expensive looking desk while the three of them sat on uncomfortable chairs in front of it. The silence was horrible and Zooey was just about to yell at Stevens to spit it out when he cleared his throat again and began to speak.

“So, after reviewing Dorian’s test results, I’m afraid I have some bad news.” Stevens said as he left another pause. Zo held her breath as she heard a sniffle and glanced over to see her mom with tears in her eyes. She reached out and took her hand and gave it a tight squeeze.

Stevens glanced at their intertwined hands and made eye contact with Zo and took a deep breath. “The results show that Dorian’s cancer has actually spread more and is beginning to effect the rest of his organs.”

“What!? You said that the chemo was working! You said that he was getting better!” Zo said as her voice began to rise higher and higher. Her mother closed her eyes tight as the first tears escaped and her grip on her daughters hand tightened. Stevens seemed unfazed by Zo’s outburst and it seemed to piss her off even more. What was with this guy?

“Yes well that’s what we thought was going on but that unfortunately wasn’t the case-” he started but was cut off by Zo’s mother.

“Then what can we do? There must be something. I can’t let my little boy die. Is there any other option? If the chemo isn’t working then what about surgery? There must be something.”

“Since the chemo didn’t help at all it’s not worth trying again.” Zo’s mother began to sob more. This time Colter had his arm around her pulling her close. “But, there is an experimental treatment that researchers have just released and it’s still in the early stages. We’re in the early stages of the testing and if you’re interested in signing Dorian up to see if it’ll help then we can get the paper work started and get the treatment started as soon as we can.”

Zo knew what was coming next, she could see it on her mother’s face. Even though she didn’t want to, she knew that she had to ask. “A-and what if w-we don’t? Sign up Do for the treatment that is. W-what happens t-then?” Zo closed her eyes tight as she heard her mother speak those words.

Stevens sighed again, and Zo was really starting to get pissed off at him. Could he just get rid of the monotone voice and sighs for once and take this seriously? Even if he had to break bad news to families like this every day, he could be a little more sympathetic about it. Put himself in their shoes? He wouldn’t be acting like that if he was them.

“Then the cancer would spread to his other organs. If you choose not to do the treatments, we could give him pain medicine and send him home so he’s comfortable. But then he would have only six months left if he was lucky.”

Zo squeezed her moms hand knowing that she wasn’t going to be able to ask any more questions. It was her way of telling her she would take over. “And what if we did do the treatments? What if they don’t help? What then?”

“I really can’t tell you. Every patient is different and we’ve just started this treatment. It could go well and help him. But if they don’t I don’t know what to tell you. It could lengthen his time but it could also cut it in half.”

That was all Zo could handle. She pulled her hand from her mothers and stood making her way to the door. She barely registered the fact that her name was being called but ignored it and threw the door opened and nearly ran down the hall. Thankfully, she had her bag already with her so she didn’t have to go back to Do’s room. All she wanted to do was get out of there. She couldn’t handle being in there any longer.

Six months. That’s how long her little brother had. But if they did the treatment, it could possibly be cut in half. So three months. They had no clue if any of this would work or not. It was all just a huge gamble with her brother’s life. There was no way of knowing what would happen if they did the treatment. Either way her little brother could end up dead in less than a year.

As she jogged to her car, she could hear Alex calling to her telling her to calm down and to talk to him. But she was way past talking. She didn’t even know what to do. All she knew was that she needed to get as far away from the hospital as she could at the moment. Do had their mom and Colter to be with him. Along with Penny and she didn’t need to be there at that moment. He was asleep anyway. He wouldn’t even know that she was gone.

*Zo, please, calm down talk to me!* Alex pleaded as she unlocked her car door and got inside. She jammed the key in the ignition and twisted it to start the car. Alex was still calling to her and she couldn’t take it anymore.

*Alex just shut up! Just leave me alone!* She yelled as she put the car in reverse and began to drive out of the parking lot.

She didn’t know where she was going but just allowed herself to drive down the road away from town. The tears finally overflowed out of her eyes as she continued down the road. Her eyes were starting to get blurry and she whipped them on her sleeve as she made a left hand turn and began to see the highway coming closer.

In a few miles she would be in the next town and she didn’t have enough gas to make it. But she didn’t care. Her eyes began to blur again and she was just about to reach up to wipe her eyes again when she saw a set of headlights coming straight at her…