Thanatophobia

Not a Hair Out of Place

It didn't really surprise me when my father showed up three days later. He was notoriously busy all the time, even when I was little. What did surprise me was that it bothered me. How hard is it to visit your only daughter in the hospital?

"Can we talk?" Lloyd asked, standing in the doorway. He was wearing the usual suit and tie, shiny shoes, and not a hair out of place.

"I'm not going anywhere," I retorted, annoyed.

He closed the door and took a seat in one of the chairs on the other side of the room. He kept his voice low but I could see the anger in his eyes.

"What were you thinking?" was all he asked, staring me down with his annoyingly political stare. He didn't give me much time to answer, because he spoke again. "Did you think about my campaign at all, Shelby? Do you ever?"

"It wasn't really the first thing on my mind, to be honest," I said quietly.

"Of course not. You know you can't afford to be reckless. Why didn't you just tell us what was wrong, anyway? You know your mother and I could have helped you through whatever it is that was bothering you. You have a tendency to be rash. I thought we raised you to think things through before you did something like...like jumping off a cliff."

I shook my head. "That's the problem, Lloyd. I thought it through a little bit too much. There are too many things going on my head for that to be bouncing around for so long."

He shifted uncomfortably, but his poker face never faltered. "We could have gotten you help, that's all I'm saying."

"So basically, you're mad at me rather than concerned?" I asked.

He cocked his head to the side. "You know, Shelby, it's starting to sound like you're sabotaging my campaign for attention."

"Are you serious?" I slammed my fist on the mattress of the hospital bed. "You think this is about your campaign? Trust me when I tell you that no one's going to see this and not elect you Senator because of it! What makes you think this has anything to do with you?"

"Keep your voice down," Lloyd ordered. I let out an exasperated sigh and he said, "I'll tell you one thing, and that is no one will know about this incident. I've already had to pay the firemen who fished you out of the damn water a small fortune to keep this quiet. What do you think people would say if they found out my daughter tried to commit... suicide?"

He said "suicide" in a small whisper, like there were hidden cameras everywhere and paparazzi at the door.

"You paid the firemen?" I asked with disbelief. What about that boy? Did he pay him, too? Did he even know about him? I decided not to mention it, because if I did, the kid would get a shit ton of cash from my father. And we couldn't have that, not after he had called the police and saved my life. I wouldn't have that.

Lloyd ignored me. "People are going to take one look at me and say, 'his daughter tried to kill herself. He can't even handle his own family, why should he get a say in the country's affairs?' People pay attention to things like this, don't you understand?"

I'd had enough with this. "Just go," I told him. "Go home and work on your campaign or whatever. I'm done talking to you."

He stood up from his chair abruptly, almost knocking it to the floor. "What were you even thinking?"

"I was thinking I would die!" I yelled.

"But why would you just throw your life away? Don't you think that's a bit of an insult to Meghan?"

My stomach turned. I hadn't talked about Meghan in an entire year, not since the last time I saw her. I had done my best to erase that night from my memory, and was doing a damn good job of it until now. "Get out," I spat at him. "Don't ever talk about her to me, I swear to God..."

I blinked hard, staring him down as best I could. He took a step back, like he was going to say something, but changed his mind. He walked to the door and put his hand on the knob, hesitating for a second.

"When you get out," he said harshly, "you'll be living with your brother. You'll transfer schools. You can not think, you can over think, you can do what you want. But no more stunts like this from now on."

His expression softened for a half a second, then went stone cold before he whisked out of the room, shutting the door behind him.
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Kind of a dick, right? Comments would be lovely, but I won't pry ♪