The Way We Were

Ryan's POV

This morning I got up and she was gone. I sighed in frustration as I walked around my apartment hoping she'd be in the kitchen making coffee, or in the bathroom doing her makeup, or something just to let me know that she was here! I went into the living room and found the invitation that I had given her, on my coffee table.

I shook my head and sighed, taking out my cell, about to call her. Right as I began dialling her number, there was a knock at my door. I smiled, believing that it was Audrey; believing that she came back.

I trotted to the door and quickly opened it, but to my surprise, I was tackled with a hug by Eva.

"Eva?! What are you doing here?" I gave a short laugh.

She kissed my cheek, "I knew how much your premiere meant to you and I wanted to surprise you! Tadah! Your date is here!"

I just smiled. Shocked. And frustrated at Audrey.

* * *

That Evening..(Audrey's POV)

I had spent the day with the cast of Factory Girl, we did some casual filming, but mostly it was George directing us and telling us what he'd like to see before we actually get some serious filming done. We are trying to film in chronological order, so the beginning scenes were of "Edie", me, in the rehab being interviewed. I had to wear a brunette wig, since I didn't want to colour my hair again, but other than that, my accent and portrayal of Edie Sedgwick was spot on.

The day went really well, but right when I got home and realized I was alone, the emptiness and guilt of everything that's happened within 24 hours, was taking it's toll on me. So I ended up lying on the couch under a pile of blankets, eating Ben & Jerry's ice cream, watching Brokeback Mountain.

I must have been on the couch for close to an hour before there was a knock at my door. I sighed and didn't bother answering it. Again, the knocking persisted. I cleared my throat, "Leave me here to die!...please."

I then heard the locks on the door being unlocked and footsteps coming in. "Yeah, that ain't gonna fly. Come on, get up, we gotta go." It was Nikolas.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, slowly lifting my head.

"Dude, there's a rave tonight. Skrillex is coming to the club! We can't miss a rave!" He chuckled, he grabbed my hands and pulled me up to my feet.

"Oh right, I forgot, sorry." I shook my head.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, furrowing his brow, looking down at the half-eaten ice cream and seeing a film about gay cowboys.

"No, I'm just in a fit again, it'll go away." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Did you take your medication?" He asked.

I shook my head, "It's part of my method acting, being bipolar will help with get me into the same mental state as Edie Sedgwick."

"Well watch yourself then, if you need it, take it. No exceptions." He smirked, "Now go get your rave clothes on."

I chuckled and walked into the other room, the converted walk-in closet, and closed the door behind me. I stripped off my clothes and picked out a new Victoria's Secret bra; a red leopard print one, I also wore some VS short shorts, also in red. I slipped on my red sneakers, and took a fur vest from the closet. I picked up some headbands from the vanity and tossed my hair up in a high ponytail, putting on the neon headbands afterwards.

"Hey, Nik, do you have your Kandi bracelets?" I called from the room.

"Yeah, they're in the car. Edie made some too." He replied.

I opened the door and came out, putting on some neon necklaces and jelly bracelets.

"Ooh la la, Audrey you look ready to rave." He smirked.

"All the time." I grinned, "Hey, you know what, I'm gonna invite Jack. I hate that he's alone all the time, I think he'll like this."

Nik was holding the door open and I walked past him and ran down the stairs to Jack's place and knocked on the door. Soon he opened the door and I walked in.

"Jack, we're going to a rave tonight, c'mon, get your raving clothes on." I smiled.

Jack let his jaw drop as he looked me up and down, staring at my chest. "I like this look." He smirked.

I playfully punched him, "C'mon Jack."

"A rave?" He asked, laughing. "Are you serious?"

"I'm dead serious, no one raves like the Versaces. If you're not doing anything tonight, you're coming with us." I smiled.

"I've never been to a rave before." He gasped, almost as if he was scared to admit it.

Nikolas and I laughed, "That's perfect, 'cause tonight is gonna be the best night of your life." Nikolas smirked.

"What do I wear?" Jack asked.

"Lightweight pants and a tank top. You can even wear shorts if you want." Nikolas walked into the apartment and toward the bedroom.

"Ehm, where exactly are you going?" Jack chuckled.

"To your closet. Do you have an old shirt that you don't like or don't wear anymore?" Nikolas called.

We followed him into the room. "Uh, yeah, there's that one there. It's an old Misfits shirt. It's pretty faded."

"Perfect." Nik took it from the hanger and then ripped off the sleeves, turning it into a baggy tank top for him. He tossed the shirt to him. "Here. Take off your shirt and put this one on. You'll eventually take off your top later in the night. That is if you're comfortable without one."

"Yeah I'm fine." Jack chuckled, taking off his shirt. I couldn't help but look.

"Well with a bod like that you don't even need to wear a shirt." Nikolas chuckled, turning around to look at Jack's shoe collection. He picked out a bright neon green pair of sneakers and handed them to him. "And wear these."

"This should be interesting." Jack chuckled, looking at me.

* * *

Exiting the Escalade, Jack, my brothers and sister-in-laws and I were swarmed by paparazzi. I put on my red Lolita shades and blew kisses to the cameras as we all walked into the club. Skrills was playing some heavy dubstep as we walked in and we were greeted with cheers by the guests. The lights were pretty dark and a disco balls and strobe lights were illuminating the room.

I linked arms with Jack as we all went down to the bar. Walking through the crowd, some lovely guests gave us some glow sticks and I shared my Kandi bracelets with them, kissing their cheeks and hugging them.

The girls ordered us some shots. "Through the teeth and over the gums, look out stomach, here it comes." Chanel laughed as we raised our glasses.

I downed mine and then was pulled onto the dance floor. "Bangarang" began and I grew excited, I blew kisses to Skrillex and he nodded back. We all head banged and danced to the music, feeling a connection with every single person in the room. Already the party was getting heavy. Characters from every part of Manhattan came out and joined us.

I laughed as Jack and I were being dragged around by the girls, dancing and acting like fools. I spotted Daniel with a drink in his hand, politely declining an advance from a guy dressed as a sailor. "No, sorry I don't do that anymore. I'm married to a girl now." He laughed, showing the sailor his ring. Daniel laughed as he walked over and made a face at me.

"Jack, dance with me." I smiled, pulling him closer to me as We Found Love by Rihanna began. He smiled and put his arms around my waist and pulling me closer to him; I wrapped my arms around his neck.

He smiled at me and tilted his head, keeping himself from leaning in. As the bass dropped, we were pulled into a frenzy of dancers, waving their glow sticks and flashing lights. I smiled and sang along to the song, moving to the music. He gently stroked my face and looked at me tenderly, I laughed and turned away. He just smiled.

Later as the night was getting more wild, I decided to take a drink break and go up to the V.I.P to my private booth. Chanel and Edie were dancing with Jack, entertaining him with their antics and killer dance moves.

After I made my rounds around the club, making sure everyone was having a good time, I was standing at the bar waiting for my VodBomb, I looked around and smiled as I watched how successful the party was, but I also noticed that Nik was M.I.A. I asked the bartender where Nik was; he told me he went to the private booth. I thanked him and took my drink, going to my booth where the curtains were shut.

"Nikolas are you in there?" I asked through the curtains.

"Uh, yeah, hold on!" He quickly replied. I didn't bother waiting, so I just opened the curtains and came in. He was sitting with Marilyn Manson, and just as I threw open the curtains, they quickly swiped something from the table.

"Hey Audrey." Nik chuckled, sniffling and rubbing his nose.

"Hi." I smiled, drawing the curtains shut and sitting down next to him.

"Audrey, this is Marilyn, Marilyn, this is my sister Audrey." Nikolas smiled, still sniffling.

"Yeah I know, you introduced us the other night." He smiled, nodding to me. "Nice to see you again."

"Oh no! Woops." Nikolas laughed, rubbing his eyes.

I looked at the both of them but was mostly distracted by Nik.

"So what have you two been up to in here?" I asked, smiling at Nik, seeing that something was up from his sniffing and laughter.

"Nothing, we were just chillin' out." He grinned, rubbing his nose. I then noticed his arm covered in white powder.

I smiled, "Oh, I see. You've been doing some powder." Taking his arm and showing him.

He fell silent for a moment, pulling away from my hold. He then broke into laughter. "It's nothing really. It's recreational mostly."

I just smiled, looking at his arm.

"Would you like some?" Marilyn asked, lifting up his hand from under the table and showing a small bag of cocaine.

I smiled and bit my lip, I looked at the curtain to make sure no one was around and then sighed, thinking of Caleb."I'll pass." I smirked.

Nikolas smirked and dropped his head back, closing his eyes. "I should really get going. Out there I mean." He chuckled, sighing as he got up, climbing over the table.

He left Marilyn and I in the booth, but that was fine by me, Marilyn and I got to talking and it was really great. We talked about everything from music to films, books, restaurants, everything! We had so much in common for two people who seem so different. We must have talked for over an hour, but our good time was about to end abruptly.

As we were chatting about our favourite authors, we heard a yelling in the distance. We listened some more when suddenly the curtains from the booth were ripped open and Ryan was panting and looking right at me.

"Why have you been ignoring me?" He slammed his fists on the table, his eyes burning with anger.

Nikolas ran up behind him, shaking his head, not in his right mind."Audrey I tried to stop him."

"Nikolas, Marilyn, can you give us some privacy?" I quietly spoke, looking down. They nodded and left.

"So what? Was last night just some thing you did because you pitied me? Then you leave, ignore my calls and texts? What is that?" He was furious.

"Last night was a mistake Ryan, please lower your voice." I whispered.

"No, I won't Audrey. Everyone should know that you're a liar! Everything you do and say is a lie!" He raised his voice, slamming his fists on the table.

"You knew that I was engaged, Ryan! I told you time and time again that I love him and that I'm going to marry him. Why can't you understand that?" I shook my head.

He sighed and shook his head, he pulled the curtains shut and sat down across from me. "You treat me as though I'm a friend with benefits, Audrey this is not how I want to feel. Last night you told me you loved me, didn't you mean it?" He asked.

I closed my eyes and thought of the pain that Caleb would go through. I decided that I'd have to hurt Ryan one last time to prevent him from hurting anymore. Tears slowly streamed down my face as I quickly wiped them away and shook my head, letting him know that last night meant nothing to me.

His heart sank, he looked down and sighed, then rested his elbows on the table and buried his face in his hands. "Why did you have to walk into my life and make me fall in love with you?" He whispered.

"I didn't walk into your life, Ryan. I walked into the room." I replied in a whisper. I lifted my eyes to look at him, seeing him fighting back tears.

He went silent and shook his head again, "So this is it?" His voice was caught in his throat as tears fell from his eyes. "This is how everything ends?"

"I don't want things to end Ryan, you've been nothing but amazing to me. You just need to understand that I don't love you the way I used to." I held my breath, trying not to cry.

"No, everything has to end. I'm done. I'm done loving you. I'm done with us." He shook his head, letting himself cry as he got up and left.

I jumped out of the booth and called after him, "Ryan, no don't. Please, don't do this." I started to cry as he kept walking. I fell to my knees and cried, I whispered, "Please, don't go."

Soon I was held by Nikolas and Marilyn knelt in front of me, both trying to comfort me. Edie, Jack, Chanel and Daniel all ran up and began freaking out, asking what was wrong.

I pushed them away as I got up and left to my office in the back, shutting the door after me. In my office I had an extra room where I kept a bed and end table. I opened the liquor cabinet and took out a bottle of whisky, I sat on the bed and cried.

I couldn't believe that this really happened, everything was over. I had lost my best friend, I had lost someone who meant the world to me. My heart felt completely empty, I felt that hole again, the exact same way I felt when Lee died. And I cried just like I did when Lee died. I clutched my chest as I buried my face into the pillow and sobbed until my eyes had no more tears to be shed and until my throat burned.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and leaned against the wall, taking drinks straight from the bottle of Jack Daniels. There was a soft knock at the door and I heard it open. I looked through the bedroom's doorway and saw that it was Marilyn that came in.

"You alright?" He asked, walking in.

I sniffled and shook my head.

"You wanna talk?" He sat on the edge of the bed.

"I don't know...I cheated on my fiance last night with Ryan, and because I've felt so guilty, I've been avoiding him. We used to date a year ago, and he really fell for me, I fell for him, but then I met Caleb and he's the one that I love. Ryan's been trying to make me change my mind. And now he's gone. For real this time." I buried my face into my hands and began crying, "I don't know what to do anymore."

He moved closer and placed his hand on my knee, comforting me. "I don't know Ryan or Caleb. But if Ryan's been trying to change your mind when you know that you love Caleb, he doesn't seem like the greatest guy. Does Caleb make you happy?"

I nodded, wiping away my tears. He handed me a tissue.

"Do you feel something special when you're with him?" He asked.

"Yeah." I half-smiled, thinking of Caleb.

"Then nothing else should matter." He smiled. I smiled back and nodded.

"Now are you gonna share that whisky or am I gonna have to find a bottle of my own?" He chuckled, lighting up a cigarette. I gave a short laugh and handed him the bottle. "Now let's talk about that new album of yours. We gotta get working on that."

"I've actually written some songs already, but I'd like you to put your own spin on them." I smiled.