The Way We Were

We had spent the day casually decorating and setting up for the wedding, one of the barns were cleaned out and completely redone, ready for the reception. Jars and lights and paper lanterns were hung from the ceiling inside, so much they illuminated the room.

We also had plans to hang the paper lanterns from the trees in the orchard where the rest of the party was gonna take place; we planned to make this party last for at least two days, an open bar that wouldn't close until the last person fell down. There was also gonna be a big barbecue, very country style, and by my own request, I want a HUGE dessert table, with cakes and cookies and pastries of every kind, and a lemonade table too...maybe the pregnancy cravings are kicking in...

Anyway, this wedding was gonna be amazing! And I cannot wait to wear my dress and the big pouffy tulle skirt, and to see Caleb in his casual indie attire. And Dan's gonna do the ceremony! This was gonna be a very down-to-earth, indie, bohemian style wedding with a twist of rock 'n' roll; I want everyone involved, so instead of our huge 350 person guest list, were were inviting 150 of our family and closest friends.

I invited my family of course, and the rock family, Motley Crue, Slash, Duff, Uncle Dave and his band the Foo Fighters, The Strokes (I've known them since forever), and My Chemical Romance, Brian and the guys from Avenged, and I even sent an invitation to my grandmother in Seattle; I haven't seen her since I was a teenager, and I missed her a lot.

My bridal party consisted of everyone being maids and men of honour; So I have Chanel and Edie, and Behati, and my brothers Nikolas and Daniel, and my sister-in-law Johanna, and my future sister-in-law and Nathan's fiancee, Jessie.

Caleb also has seven in his party; Patrick, Garrett, and Tyler from Theory of a Deadman, and then Caleb's brothers and cousins, Nathan, Jared, Matt, and Nacho. Dan would've been one of them but he's performing the wedding.

Right now Caleb and I were laying in bed in our new home as I went over the checklist.

"Dress: check, Ceremony Officiant: check, Reception Hall: check, Wedding party: check...would you stop?" I laughed at Caleb who was kissing my neck.

He started laughing, "I can't get over the fact that your hair is so short!" He ran his fingers through my hair, I pushed him away and lightly laughed.

"We need to focus on the wedding, three more days!" I smiled.

"We'll focus on that tomorrow." He whispered in my ear, he took the notebook from my hand and tossed it across the room.

I smirked at him and didn't say anything, I leaned over and kissed his bare shoulder; he liked to wear tank tops to bed. He smiled back. I was then silent for a while.

"What's wrong?" He whispered.

I hesitated, "What if I'm really bad at this mothering thing? What if this baby grows up to hate me?"

"He won't, why would you say that?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know, I mean, this is really unexpected, and I've just been thinking about everything else that goes into parenting. I mean, I'm so selfish Caleb, and I can't cook, and babies need to eat! I barely know how to change a diaper, let alone stop myself from gagging, and babies need so much attention, and I'm always flying from place to place...I'm just really unsure about this, and I'm scared out of my mind."

"Audrey, don't freak out so much. You're not alone in this, I'm right here, gonna be the dad and loving and supporting husband. And you're gonna be a really great and loving and amazing mom, this baby is gonna be beautiful like you, and have an amazing fashion sense unlike me. This kid is gonna be so spoiled, but he's gonna have an amazing life with an awesome mom and a devastatingly handsome father."

I started to laugh, "Are you sure?"

"Positive." He smiled.

I thought for a moment, then got up and went over to my suitcase, unzipping it and taking out an old wooden box.

"What's that?" He asked.

"I've had this since I was seven years old, my dad used to have this polaroid camera and he loved taking pictures, so since then, we'd always collect our favourites, and since then I've kept this box and kept on collecting my favourite pictures." I smiled, opening it up and finding an old picture of me and Behati, laughing to myself. "We were fooling around with the sunglasses at a kiosk when we went to Venice Beach that day."

He took the picture and looked at it, smiling.

"She's coming in tomorrow with Jamie, I was wondering if I could borrow your truck to go pick her up?"

"Yeah of course." He replied.

I thanked him and continued looking through the pictures. "And this picture, my dad took that of me when we lived in the apartment in Olympia, I was probably about two at the time." I showed him the picture that was in my wallet.

"This is how our baby will look." He smiled.

"I looked just like my dad when I was born, he had baby pictures too, here they are," I smiled, picking them out of the box and showing Caleb, "And here's his school picture, and one of mine."

He smiled, "Wow, you look exactly like him."

"Yeah, I hope our baby will look like that too. I'd like for the Cobain name and looks to live on." I chuckled.

"What would you want him or her to be named?" He asked, placing his hands behind his head.

I sat up and crossed my legs, resting my elbows on my knees, smiling, "I don't know, I'd like something Southern but rock 'n' roll at the same time."

"I got it, Axl Rose." He laughed. I started laughing as I shook my head, "Never!"

"I was thinking Dallas or something, that's kinda cool."

"I like that, I like Willow too." He nodded.

"Well, what if we have a boy?"

"Then we'll name him Axl." He laughed.

I laughed, "I've always loved the name Beau. Beau Followill."

"Yeah, Beau...Brady...yeah! Beau Brady Followill." He grinned, turning over to look at me.

"I love it. It's perfect. And besides, we've still got nine months to think it over, but I love it." I smiled.

"Marrying you is gonna be amazing, but having a child with you takes the cake." He gently cupped my face to kiss me.