The Way We Were

September Thirteenth (two days till the wedding)

A couple days had passed and last night the girls decided to take me out for a bachelorette party. I objected to male strippers and anything to do with the opposite sex, but they did manage to get me so drunk I could barely remember the night. Usually I'm the sober one, maybe only having a drink or two, but apparently I was downing the tequila shots like a college sorority girl.

So in turn, that meant that today was an agonizing day for me, suffering from a hangover. Also this evening, Caleb was going out for his bachelor party with his groomsmen.

Everything was going alright today, I moved into the Followill house while Caleb stayed in the guesthouse, and slept or just stayed in bed most of the day. But things started going downhill when Caleb and I were in the bedroom going over a few last minute wedding details.

"So we have 350 guest coming." He read, looking down at the paper.

I was folding laundry and hanging some tops on their hangers. "Yes. And Jay, Beyonce, and Kanye are on the list right?"

He skimmed the list and nodded, "Yup, all your a-list friends are on the list."

"Good." I simply replied. I glanced up to the clock, seeing that it was eight pm.

"It was kind hard to make this half and half, I mean, we each inviting 175 of our own friends." He smirked.

"It was easy for me. Well, no, I mean I love a lot of people and choosing only 175 of my closest friends. It was hard to pick and choose I guess." I laughed.

"Well for me it was hard, I had to come up with 175 people I know, I'm pretty sure I made up a few names on this list." He chuckled.

"Yeah, you really invited a few odd ones. Like Lily for example." I lightly laughed, continuing folding clothes.

"Well c'mon, I needed to fill my side of the list, and I did it." He replied.

"Well why did you have to invite her? Of all people, she's the one that hates me the most, blames me for breaking you and her up, and probably blames me for everything else that goes wrong in her life." I sighed, going from the bed to the closet and hanging up some shirts and dresses.

"I had no way of going around this Audrey. She's dating Garrett, I couldn't have just invited him and say that the invitation is admit one only." He sighed loudly. "And you're really making this a double standard. I can't invite Lily, but I can have Garrett there, one of your exes, oh, wait, you've seemed to also invite two more to the wedding; Brian and Ryan. What is that?"

I dropped the plate and the glass in the sink and turned around, "I didn't tell you make Garrett one of your groomsmen, Caleb. I hope you didn't think that if you chose him, I'd accept Lily, because I don't."

"Oh don't make this all about you Audrey, I've known Garrett for a long time now, it was even before I ever knew you. I don't care if you don't accept Lily, I'm not trying to make you. I'm trying to be nice to her, I hurt her real bad when I broke up with her, I just want things to be okay between her and I-"

"I'm not making this about me! Why do you have this preconceived notion that I make everything about myself?" I raised my voice. "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best!"

"Then stop acting like your life is over because Lily is coming! She is coming and if you want to go and tell her to leave, then go ahead, but leave me out of it."

"No, fine. She can stay, but don't expect me to acknowledge her." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"You know what, I really don't care. I don't know what all the drama is between you two, but I want you to know that I don't have any feelings toward her, if that's why you're getting so mad.
But seriously Audrey, do you think I'm okay with Ryan being there? I know your history with the guy, but I'm not making a big thing out of it!"

That was low. It cut me deep and hurt. It felt already as if a knife was stabbed into my heart when this argument began, but that was the twist of the blade.

"Before we ever started going out, I knew about you. People told me about you and your lifestyle. I heard all the rumours and the stories about you, and people even warned me about you. But I went ahead and pursued you because I saw someone else, I saw the real you. The one that hurts and the one that has dreams. I grew a love and trust for you, and people think I took a big risk to ask you to marry me, but it's not a risk, it's something I want. I just hope that I'm still right about you."

He got up and stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

I sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. A few moments later, I heard the front door slam, and then I heard the engine of a truck start up and drive away. I ran to the window and looked out, watching his truck speed off down the driveway.

I closed my eyes and just started crying, I sat down on the floor and leaned against the bed. I buried my face in my hands and cried.

Soon there was a soft knock at my door and right after my mom came in and closed the door behind her.

"Audrey, what's wrong?" She came and knelt down in front of me, placing her hands on my knees.

"We just fought again." I cried, sniffling, wiping my eyes.

She took my hands and ushered me to stand up with her. "C'mon, let's sit on the bed. Now what do you mean you fought? What about?"

I sniffled and continue wiping my eyes, "About the wedding. The guest list. I mean, we never used to argue like this, and now we've just been fighting all the time! And it's over everything, and I'm scared mom, I'm scared."

She wrapped her arms around me as I sobbed into her shoulder, "Why are you scared?"

"Because this is exactly what happened with me and Brian, after we got engaged, everything went downhill and we began fighting and arguing over everything until we couldn't take it anymore and then the day before the wedding we called it off."

"Oh Audrey, Caleb is nothing like that. You two have something different, something special." She comforted, rubbing me back, still hugging me.

"I love him so much. I don't want this to end because this is the best thing I've ever had. I love him, so much." I sighed.

"Audrey, this isn't going to end. You both just need some space. Talk to him, talk to each other. Everything is gonna be okay, just relax, okay?" She smiled, lightly touching my face.

I nodded and smiled. "Okay. Thanks mom."

"I'm gonna be downstairs, is there anything you need?" She asked.

I shook my head, "No thanks."

"Okay, just get some rest." She smiled, getting up and leaving the room.

I sighed and looked around. I decided to hang up the rest of the clothes. I got up and took them off the bed and walked to the closet, making room and hanging them up. I noticed my gown in it's bag, hung in the back of the closet. I walked back to the door and locked it, and walked back to the closet and took out my dress. I decided that I would try it on.

Shortly after Sarah had given me the dress from Lee, I didn't feel that it was the one. So I decided to go for a different dress, and as bad as I felt about not wearing a McQueen gown, I knew that if Lee were here, he wouldn't mind at all. But to make up for it anyway, I selected an Alexander McQueen dress and shoes for the reception. I chose a ball gown by Lazaro. I saw it when I went dress shopping with Chanel for her gown and instantly fell in love.

I slipped into the gown and had trouble pulling up the zipper, but eventually managed to. I walked across the room and looked at myself in the mirror. It was beautiful. The skirt was big and flowy, the bodice was stunning; embroidered with Swarovski crystals, and a silk ribbon around the waist. The dress was around $10,000. And it was worth every penny.

I sighed and stood there and thought about our fight. I hate it when we'd fight. I loved Caleb more than life itself, and when it comes to Ryan, yes I do care about him and I'll always love him, but never in the way that I love Caleb.

There was a knock at my door, breaking my train of thought I looked at the door and shuffled across the room. "Who is it?"

"It's me, Ryan."

I hesitated before I unlocked the door and let him in. When he saw me in my dress his jaw dropped and he covered his eyes.

I laughed, "You're allowed to see me. It's only Caleb that's not supposed to."

"Oh, right." He smiled, removing his hands from his eyes. He looked me up and down and a soft smile came to his face. "You look so beautiful."

I half-smiled and gave a short laugh, "Thanks."

"Uh, Eva and I were gonna header for the night, but I wanted to come and say goodnight...and also see how you are. Caleb stormed out of here and I couldn't help but wonder what happened."

"Oh, we just," I took a deep breath and looked away, walking off toward the mirror. "We just had a disagreement about some of the plans for the wedding."

He quietly shut the door and walked up behind me, our reflection in the mirror showed us. He stood behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

"Audrey, we need to talk." He spoke.

"What about?" I asked, looking at him in the mirror.

He hesitated and then took a deep breath, "About you and Caleb...and you and me."

"What do you mean?" I whispered.

"Audrey, I love you. And because I love you, I need to tell you that you're making a mistake marrying him. He doesn't love you the way I do, and I know that you still love me. Those feelings are still there. I see the way you look at me, and the way you look at him, it isn't the same because you still love me."

"Ryan stop. You're wrong, I love Caleb, and I'm marrying him, there is nothing you can say or do that'll stop that." I shook my head, turning around.

"You're making a mistake, you're supposed to be marrying me." He took my hands in his.

"And you're supposed to be in a relationship with Eva!" I sharply whispered, pushing past him toward the door.

He grabbed my hand, "But I'm still in love with you. Tell me you love me, I know you do. Just say the word, and we'll leave, I'll take you away from here. I know you don't like this new lifestyle, living in the country, this low-key life! I'll give you everything."

"Stop Ryan." I clenched my teeth.

"Tell me you love me!"

"I said stop!" I yelled, I slapped him hard. I covered my mouth from shock, I honestly didn't expect that to happen. I rolled my eyes and shook my head, "Ryan, I'm sorry."

He rubbed the side of his face and gave a half-smile. "I deserved that."

"You can't say those sort of things to me Ryan. I've never been closer to anyone and I don't know you at all. Ryan, this isn't you, you're supposed to be the one that supports me and accepts my decisions. You'll never know how much I love Caleb, nor will you ever know the way he loves me. Yes, we fight, we argue, we have disagreements, but that doesn't mean that our relationship in on the rocks and you can just come in and sweep me off my feet. I'm sorry that this hurts you, but Caleb means the world to me."

He looked down and nodded, sighing as he looked up at me again. "I'm sorry."

"You'll always have a special place in mind now, because I'm giving my heart now to Caleb." I half-smiled, taking a step forward to hug him.

"I want you to be happy." He whispered, embracing me.

"I am." I smiled. I soon pulled away from his hug.

"I have to go." He smiled, "I'll see you on your wedding day."

"Okay. And I'm sorry about your face." I chuckled.

He started to laugh. "Goodnight." He walked to the door and quietly left.

I smiled to myself and walked back to the mirror to have one last look. I sighed and decided to change into my pajamas. I walked to the closet and unzipped my dress, climbing out and quickly changing into my Mickey Mouse shorts. I grabbed the matching top and pulled it on before I continued to put my dress back in its bag. After I packed it up, I put it back in the closet, and went to dig through my bag, looking for a couple DVDs to watch.

I settled on some good ol' eighties classics; Pretty in Pink, Sixteen Candles, and Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Anyone who knows me well enough, knows that I am a big John Hughes fan. I decided that I'd watch them and wait for Caleb to come home, I needed to apologize. I needed to tell him that I love him. And most of all, I just needed him.



I hadn't realized that I fell asleep during the third movie, which was Sixteen Candles, and it was 2:30 in the morning that I woke up. Caleb had climbed into bed with me and kissed my cheek, which was what woke me up.

"Caleb." I mumbled, smiling as I turned around to face him.

"You're missing the best part." He smiled, he had propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at me.

"I'm sorry about what I said, I'm sorry about everything." I sighed.

"I'm sorry too." He leaned down and kissed my lips. "But let's just forget about it, that was yesterday. I love you too much to be mad."

"I love you too." I whispered.

He slid his arm under my body and pulled me closer to him, I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his shoulder. "Let's just go to sleep." He whispered, using the remote to turn off the t.v and reaching to shut off the lamp.