Say Anything You Want, I'll Turn the Music Up

Say Anything You Want, I'll Turn the Music Up

Chapter 10: Big Time Blowup

I just want you to breathe until you take me in.
But the truth is
She has no idea, no idea
That I'm even here,
That I'm even here.
She has no idea, no idea
I'm standing here.
-"No Idea", Big Time Rush/All Time Low

James POV

James finally realized Carlos was right. He was always so conceited and stubborn, but he did have heart and a soft side under that all-over perfectness, he was just terrible at showing it to anyone other than his three best friends. He couldn't imagine being anything but egotistical and too confident around everyone else, except for in a situation like this, but then, a situation like this had never happened, so he'd never had to fight the inner battle of letting his other, non-superficial side, show.

He more-or-less power walked to the lobby, hoping he hadn't waited too long, that it wasn't too late, that he could still catch up with her. Either way, he knew, she knew, he probably wouldn't forgive her, but he had to at least apologize. How could she not forgive you? his cocky side asked. How could she resist The Face?

Then the other side he was not used to and so desperately wanted to repress said, Easy. Just like she did before. Just like she always did. The Face never worked on Harper. He could never remember a time before her that a girl had been able to resist The Face, and he knew what she thought and he also knew she was right: she had wounded his ego badly by her rejection.

He was almost out the doors of the Palm Woods when Kendall and Logan appeared in front of him, arms folded across their chests, blocking his way.

"Hey, James," Kendall said, eyebrow raised. Logan raised one to. "Where ya going?"

"Move," James said. He had the muscle and could take both of them if he had to.

"We can't do that," Logan said. "Sorry."

James let out a frustrated groan. "Guys, come on."

His best friends suddenly looked sympathetic. "We told her we wouldn't," Logan explained.

"At least until she has time to get far enough away," Kendall added.

"Guys. I have to do this. You know I do." He wanted to say, You're my best friends, aren't you? but he didn't want his friends to have to pick sides, and anyway, he was the one in the wrong.

His two friends looked at each other, then stepped aside. "Even though we're not supposed to... Go get her," Logan said.

James didn't stay to say anything else. He ran out the doors and down the sidewalk, hoping to catch up. From working out so much, he was a great runner, and wouldn't run out of breath anytime soon.

After about a mile, he realized it was too late. She was gone. But then he remembered: Bitters had to have her address somewhere since she'd worked at the Palm Woods.

It would be tough convincing Bitters to give that information up. Especially after getting Harper the job against Bitters's will in the first place.

He sighed; walking back would take a while. He could always call someone to pick him up... He came up with a plan.

He pulled out his iPhone and typed a 'K'. He called Katie Knight, Kendall's younger sister; since she was 11, she had a little flip phone only for emergencies, but this qualified as an emergency, and he could smooth talk Mrs. Knight about it without getting either of them in trouble if he had to.

Katie picked up on the second ring. "Yo."

"Katie. I need your help breaking into Bitters's files and stealing an address."

"It'll cost you," she replied, as he figured. For such a small girl she always drove such a hard bargain.

"Whatever."

Harper's POV

The doorbell rang, and then there was some knocking. I didn't feel like going to the door; I didn't feel like moving from my bed, where I was re-watching every freaking episode of Misfits on my laptop. I was getting death threats from fangirls over the whole James thing; God forbid one of them find my address. But that was probably what had happened.

The knocking continued. I sighed, paused the episode (my favorite yet least favorite, the one where all the ASBO 5 but Nathan and Simon get brainwashed by that creepy chick, and Nathan's powers finally come out...), and got up. I wanted to yell, "Calm your tits!" but my mom would get pissed; she never ever got the door, and she was in her room watching some soap opera.

I opened the front door of my house (we didn't have a peephole, and the window on the door was blocked by intricate white floral designs. This left yelling, "Who's there?" before opening, which my mom always told me to do, but that was embarrassing and people could lie anyway and say there were a cop or something just to get you to open). Only to find none other than James Diamond standing there. I slammed the door right in his perfect face.

"I won't go away until you open the door, Harper," James yelled, banging on it twice as hard. Shoot, shoot, shoot. I knew he was persistent, duh, Harper. Crap. My mom would flip with a guy here.

I opened it to say one thing, with every intention of slamming it immediately again once I finished. "I have nothing to say to you, James Diamond. I suggest you leave before I call the cops for harassment—I don't know how you got my address, but that alone is grounds enough—or before I castrate you, whichever happens first." I didn't say he'd also get mauled by all the neighborhood fangirls; I didn't want him to take it the wrong way and think I cared, which I didn't. He could get beaten up and raped and killed by everyone in this neighborhood for all I cared.

I started to slam the door again, but he stopped it with his hand. I wasn't going to go down easy though. I fought as hard as I could to close it, but I was still no match for his muscle. I had to stop myself from staring at the way his muscles were bulging from fighting me. I could keep on all day if had to, just to—

"Harper. Stop."

I sighed. Like I said, he was persistent. No matter what, James Diamond would end up getting his way, one way or another.

I stepped out of the threshold and shut the door.

"What, you're not going to invite me in?" James smirked.

"Shut up." We somehow started walking down the block. "You are going to get me in so much trouble. With both my mom for having a boy on the premises, and the law when they find your dead body. And I'm not bluffing either, I have an illegal knife and I'm not afraid to use—"

"Harper." He cut me off and I hated him even more. Don't look at him, I told myself. I knew I couldn't look in those deep hazel eyes... He put his hands on my shoulders to stand us closer together, to face each other, but I jumped away at his touch and gave him the most cutting glare possible. Realizing it was no use, he sighed, resigned, running a hand through that perfectly straight, perfectly brown hair... Stop. You hate him. No amount of gorgeousness can change the fact that he's a shallow douche. No apology can change that either. Don't forgive him. Remember what happened last time? Don't. I hated him for the way I always had to suddenly pep talk myself thanks to him.

"I came to apologize—"

"Save it, James," I shot. "I don't want or need an apology from you."

He looked a little angry. "I need to apologize, so it doesn't matter if you want to hear it or not. I'm going to apologize anyway." Whoa. Who was this person and what had he done with James? It's all an act, I reminded myself. He still just wants to get into your pants.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I know I took things too far, and I'm sorry. Okay? Are we good?"

I laughed bitterly. "It's going to take a lot more than that. Some apology. Still too conceited to even give a real one, huh?"

"Look, can we just pretend neither of us hurt the other one and be friends?"

"Friends? Why would I want to be friends with you? After what you put me through?" He started to say something, but I didn't let him finish. "No. My life is a living hell, thanks to you, James. Any type of personal revenge I could have dealt with. You writing a freaking song about me I could have dealt with." I was strong. I never let anyone see me cry, and he was the last person I wanted to see me cry. But I grew angrier and angrier with every word, letting it all out, and the tears came too. I was miserable. "But in front of your fans? The whole world knows. I can't even go out in public without getting death threats!"

I was practically sobbing now. "I may not have many friends, but I worked so hard my whole life to get to where I am. And now what? The entire world hates me. Literally. Hate. Me. Because I 'broke your heart'. Was it worth it, James? Maybe for your heartless soul, because even though I'm hysterical right now you could probably care less." He looked hurt. I didn't care. "Did I really freaking break your heart, James? I'll tell you: no, I didn't. I broke your ego, your perfect image, that's what I broke. To you I was just another female to get in bed, but I saw right through you and you couldn't stand that. So you had to go and take everything. You get your fame and your money and your albums and your fangirls who always love you because they don't know what a jerk you are, and I get my reputation taken away, my life ruined. The best part: you did it on purpose. You had to know this would happen. It's amazing how you just don't care about anyone but yourself and your image."

"Harper," he reached out and I jumped back even farther this time.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME! You've ruined my life enough! And yeah, maybe I shouldn't have poured that drink over your head and should have just let you have your way and things would be different now. And maybe if you were the type of person who knew you were gorgeous but wasn't a jerk about it and didn't flaunt it and didn't try to make a pass at every thing with boobs I could've been able to like you. As more than a friend, even. But I knew your type; I just didn't know you were the worst of all. And if I had it to do over again? I would still pour the Coke over your head.

"Those three boys you call your best friends? You don't deserve them. At all. You're heartless and cruel and they're the sweetest boys in the world. I don't know what it will take for them to realize what you are, or what kind of spell you have them under. But they deserve a friend like them, not you."

He didn't say anything. I was still crying. It hit me that I probably would have to homeschool now or something, and that made it worst. "Stay away from me," I said, no longer yelling, but in a low voice that would still get the point across. "Go. Now."

He left. I fell to my knees on the sidewalk, still sobbing.