Say Anything You Want, I'll Turn the Music Up

Say Anything You Want, I'll Turn the Music Up

Chapter 8: Big Time Slaughter

Disclaimer: I do not own the show or characters from Big Time Rush, nor do I own any songs or lyrics by BTR that might appear.

"You should totally wear these," Rain said, handing me her long angel wing earrings. "And here, put your hair up..."

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up a bit, Harper.

After I got done talking to James—who was shockingly open to my proposition (he'd just shrugged, smiled, and said, "Of course. Friendship is the most important thing ever. And if I can help you with that…" He'd shrugged again. I was more than shocked by his reaction. I mean, I knew his best friends who were all—well, except maybe Carlos, but where he lacked brains like James he made up for in being a sweetie pie—super smart and down to earth had to see something in him to even be friends with him, let alone best friends. But still, this was James Diamond, the person who, no matter how nice he could seem, had screwed me over so many times. He probably, like every other time, had an ulterior motive, I'd shockingly had to remind myself)—I made a very long trek. Rocque Records hadn't been so far from the Palm Woods, but now I wished I had my car back already.

I finally arrived, and I knocked on the door. I was sweating buckets—not just from walking, but from walking in the nearly 90 degree sunshine—and waiting outside wasn't helping.

Finally I heard the lock click and the door opened slowly.

"What do you want?" Rain had asked, about to slam the door in my face.

"Look," I said, grabbing the door so she couldn't, "I know you don't want to talk to me, and I know you don't accept apologies, and I also know you don't realize how much you've hurt me, but I'm still going to be the bigger person here, because I know I also hurt you too. And you still might not forgive me, but I want you to know I literally made a deal with the devil to get this peace offering." I reached into my bag to pull them out. "I know how much you love Big Time Rush. They're having a concert here in L.A. in a few days, and, well James gave me two tickets and VIP passes, and I know how hot you think they are and everything, so I just thought maybe you'd go with me—" I handed her the VIP pass on the lanyard and the ticket—"and maybe forgive me too."

"You'd better be glad these are front row," she'd said when I'd given her the ticket, "otherwise you still wouldn't be out of the mud." We both knew she wasn't serious about that though.

And as easy as that was, just like that, we were friends again.

She even apologized back, which was something she never did. I didn't want to give James any credit at all for this, but I'd told him the only way I'd accept his apology was if he gave me an extra of each so I could apologize to Rain, and he must've had just a bunch of extra tickets and passes lying around, because he gladly gave them to me right then and there.

Now we were getting ready to go to the concert. We were at her house, and her mom was letting Rain borrow her car since she had finally got her license the week before, and we were picking up Jo and Camille at the Palm Woods.

"Like this," she took my hair, which was currently wild and wavy, how I was planning on wearing it, and put it on top of my head. I mentally kicked myself for letting her take charge of my looks again. She left a few wavy tendrils framing my face.

http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=39875751

"Oh my God, you look so hot." She turned me toward the mirror. "James won't be able to resist."

I groaned. "I want James to resist me. Quick, make me ugly." I reached back to take down my hair with one hand and smudge my makeup with the other.

"No!" She grabbed both of my wrists. Then she sighed. "I was joking, Harper. Jeez, did you ever think about apologizing to the guy? I mean, you did wound his ego, and he did apologize for being a douche about it. I forgave you. How do you know he won't?"

I shook my head. "You don't live to make my life a living hell. Plus, you know his type, Rain. He'll stop at nothing until the score is even in his mind; his 'apology' means nothing, I just hope he doesn't try something tonight."

"You know, you two are perfect for each other. As right as you are, you're both equally stubborn. Both uber pig-headed."

"But at least I have both a heart and a brain. Are you ready?"

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The venue was completely dark, the crowd buzzing in anticipation—including the three girls I was with—waiting for BTR to come out.

We were right up by the stage, and Rain was completely fangirling. I'd heard a few of their songs, and, although they were admittedly catchy, they weren't my type of music, and I was nowhere near her zone of faithful listener.

"Heads up," Jo said suddenly, and handed me her phone.

From: Kendall <3

Heads up, apparently James is planning on pulling Harper up on stg 2 sing w/ us.

"The hell he is," I said, handing back her phone. "See him try." I actually was a little nervous though, because although I loved music I couldn't sing a note, and even if I fought back James was super built and muscular and strong (apparently he could bench like over 200, if His Highness himself was to be believed, but I doubted that was possible for anyone).

"I'll call Kendall," Jo said, probably fearing I would punch anyone in the face who tried to pull me onstage. "I know you can't talk, Kendall," she said into the phone, "I know. Just stop him, okay?"

She hung up, then turned back to me. "Apparently Kendall succeeded. We'll see."

Suddenly Kendall's voice rang out in the dark. "Oh, it's gonna be a big night. We're gonna have a good time. It's gonna be a big, big, big, big, big, big night."

Right when he sang night, there was fog all around BTR and the lights came up. They started dancing in their silly synchronized boy band way as Carlos sang, "1, 2, 3, all my boys and girls, we're gonna party like it's the end of the world..."

I remembered this song. The song that started it all.

They went through their set—without me getting pulled onstage, thank God. And, I didn't want to admit it, but they all had beautiful voices, better live, especially James. His voice captivated me all night, and I wanted to kick myself mentally, but for some reason I couldn't, all I could do was listen—and then after the song "'Til I Forget About You", they all walked offstage...except for James.

I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. I got nauseous, and I literally thought I was going to puke. You're overreacting. Chill. Just because James is by himself without BTR in front of thousands of people doesn't mean he's going for payback. But that thinking just made me even more paranoid and nauseous, because deep down I knew without a doubt he was.

Stage hands brought out a keyboard as James said, "Hey, guys," into a mic. Thousands of squeal-screams broke out from deranged fangirls. "I hope you don't mind if I do a little something solo." Even more high pitched screams, this time along with calls of, 'I love you, James!' and 'Marry me, James!' so forceful the girls sounded like they literally might pass out and die if it didn't happen.

James winked at the crowd, and the big screens were zoomed in on his face. He was super sweaty, and his hair was no longer perfect but wet and messy, stuck to his face and head. His tan cheeks were a bright red, and he was still trying to catch his breath from that last song and dance. "Good," he said. He got behind the keyboard. All the girls made gasps that indicated they had no idea he could actually play a legit instrument. I was shocked myself.

"This is a song I wrote about the girl who broke my heart." A collective gasp, the fangirls appalled that anyone would do such a thing to their precious and gorgeous James Diamond. My ears were buzzing, and not from the loud music. I saw black dots where the stage should be. "In fact," he continued, "she's in the crowd tonight." Another gasp. Followed by cries of, 'Let's kill her!'. Oh my God. Oh. My. God.

"This song is called 'Harper'." The three girls with me gasped, and the next thing I knew my pale-as-a-ghost face was zoomed in on on the big screen.

"We should get her out of here now!" Rain screamed to Jo and Camille over the crowd's roar. Some strange girls around me were glaring and their eyes threatened violence. But I was frozen to the spot. About to pass out.

James started to play a tune that slightly resembled a slow version of "I Kissed A Girl" by Katy Perry.

"I saw you from across the room, so alone, so scared." He had seriously written a song, oh my God. He was actually singing it. In that beautiful voice. "Like a perfect angel, I knew you were the one.

"But then you broke my heart by pushing me away. I never understood what made you walk away. 'Til I found out you don't roll that way."

The crowd laughed. At me. They were laughing at me. My face was still on the big screen. I had been right. This wasn't a way of apology. He had set me up. He had hatched the perfect comeuppance and charmed and played the perfect part, and I took the bait, stupidly thinking he wouldn't try anything with my entourage of his friends. I felt so, so stupid.

"Wish I'd've known," he continued on to the chorus, "that you weren't worth falling for. 'Cause now my heart is yours but you only like girls..."

There was no way out of this sea of thousands of people who now hated me because I was the lesbian who broke James Diamond's heart. I felt the tears damming up behind my eyes, and everything became a blur.

I would never ever see James Diamond again. And if I did, I would kill him. Literally.