All the Pretty Girls on a Saturday Night
All the Pretty Girls on a Saturday Night
It was nothing- just harmless hooking up. They weren’t dealing with a relationship- Brendon Urie was physically incapable of maintaining one and Claudia Nomos was nowhere near ready for a brand new commitment. It couldn’t possibly be anything more than that.
The Sun was setting on Laguna Beach, where Claudia was rutted in the sand wearing nothing but an old, worn-in Oakland Raiders hoodie that had once belonged to her father and a simple, black bikini bottom. Brendon’s shadow appeared at her side as he approached her on the empty coastline.
“So.” He said after Claudia failed to acknowledge his entrance.
“What?”
“I’m just going to be straight with it,” he said bluntly- classic Brendon style. “What are we doing here?”
“Why? Does it bother you? I thought you were supposed to be the last person to get caught up in feelings and shit.”
Claudia flicked a smooth, gray stone over the incoming tide. One, two, three skips. One, two, three aching heartbeats.
It had been a whole six months since Pete Wentz called Claudia, his fiance, and told her that he had cheated after a big show in Manchester- completely shattering her view of love. Her memory of their five years together wrecked forever, there was no way she could forgive him.
Immediately, the petite brunette turned to her best friends Spencer Smith, Dallon Weekes, Ian Crawford, and Brendon Urie- members of pop-punk heroes Panic! at the Disco, for whom Claudia was the head stylist working on the tour.
Spencer, Ian, and Dallon were like big brothers who did everything in their power to make Claudia forget about Pete... And then there was Brendon. The same Brendon Urie who didn’t have an emotional bone in his body- the womanizing bad boy who’s head would, in Claudia estimation, absolutely explode at the thought of a relationship lasting more than one night- the LAST person Claudia would expect to help her through this tough time. It was Brendon who found Claudia crying silently on a dressing room couch, went up to her, and kissed her firmly and fully, giving her the first release she had had in months.
For weeks they had lived on the philosophy of “this is it and it’s not going anywhere else.” Now, Claudia was thrown off.
Brendon answered begrudgingly, “I’m not caught up. I just want to know where you’re at.”
Claudia uncomfortably shifted her toes and let the sand run between them. “I don’t know...” She answered with an edge on her tone.
“Are you sad? Angry? Spiteful?”
“I said I don’t know! I’ve never dealt with this feeling before, alright? I don’t know what it is.”
“Well, let me ask you this. What led you to do this?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean THIS. US. What inside of you made this happen?” Brendon pressed.
“I’m going to say it again, I don’t know. I was so full of pent up SOMETHING that I acted on the first, strongest feeling I had, which happened to be my feelings for you.” Claudia explained.
“What are your feelings for me?”
“Brendon, please-”
“Do you LIKE me? Is it just physical? Is it sex is it passion is it relief is it lov-”
Claudia practically snarled and winced visibly. “Don’t. Say. That. Word.”
Brendon shied away at her reaction and whispered. “I just want to know.”
“It’s just like I told you from the beginning. If you don’t care, then I don’t care, it’s whatever.”
“And if I do care?”
“Why?... Do you?”
“Yes.”
The single word hit Claudia’s chest like a gong.
“You mean you care if we continue fucking, like all your other hook-ups?” She tried to clarify.
“Not at all. I thought that’s what it’d be between us... but it’s not at all. I spent three years abandoning anything not temporary, anything rooted deep. Every other girl made that easy. You pull me away from that. I got lost in the rock star life of a man refusing to grow up. And then you...”
“Weighed you down? Bummed you out? Unabashedly threw you into a pessimistic, gray reality?”
“You made me WANT to grow up.” He said earnestly. “Before anything between us ever happened, I was changing my entire way of life for you.”
Claudia almost couldn’t believe the gentle waves were still rolling in, the seagulls were still squawking in the distance, and the Sun was still sinking below the horizon as Brendon spoke. It was like being in another Universe with a Brendon she had never met before. “What are you saying?”
“I want to be more than your hook-up, your friend with benefits, your therapeutical fuck buddy... And I think we already are more than that.”
“I can’t get crushed again. I won’t let myself.”
“I won’t hurt you.”
“And why should I believe that? From you of all people?”
Brendon pulled Claudia’s arm to make her face him. A serious expression filled his smooth face- his famously round eyes blazing with meaning. “Because YOU are YOU and YOU mean more to me than anything. YOU make me different. YOU make me the man I want to be.”
Claudia, trying to escape the sudden rush of emotions, rolled her eyes and halfheartedly tried to flinch away. “Two weeks from now you’ll be at an after-party in another city, and a girl will be all up on you, and you’ll forget ever having this conversation.”
“Damn it, Claudia! That’s not the person I want you to know anymore!” He shouted, not letting her fall away from his touch.
She shouted back, “it’s who you are!”
“It’s who I WAS! I’m not a quitter, you know that much about me. I hate it. HATE it. I won’t quit on us.”
“What makes you think I’m ready for this?”
Brendon took a deep breath and contemplated how to explain this. Claudia was amazed at his ability to explain these feelings, since she had figured he had never experienced anything more complicated than “horny.” “I know what it’s like to have meaningless connections, empty sex, pointless pleasure... That’s not what happens when you and I are together. That’s how I know.”
“It’s real.” She whispered, understanding the truth to what Brendon was saying.
“It’s more than real. It’s prophetic- it’s telling us, SCREAMING at us, why all these things between you and Pete and me and my immaturity have happened... To finally bring us together and give us a real future together.”
Claudia shook her head, but slowly let the door to her heart creep open. “Why me?”
Brendon, for the first time that night, smiled. “For every possible reason. Everything has led me to you. You’re more than all the pretty girls on a Saturday night.”
The Sun was setting on Laguna Beach, where Claudia was rutted in the sand wearing nothing but an old, worn-in Oakland Raiders hoodie that had once belonged to her father and a simple, black bikini bottom. Brendon’s shadow appeared at her side as he approached her on the empty coastline.
“So.” He said after Claudia failed to acknowledge his entrance.
“What?”
“I’m just going to be straight with it,” he said bluntly- classic Brendon style. “What are we doing here?”
“Why? Does it bother you? I thought you were supposed to be the last person to get caught up in feelings and shit.”
Claudia flicked a smooth, gray stone over the incoming tide. One, two, three skips. One, two, three aching heartbeats.
It had been a whole six months since Pete Wentz called Claudia, his fiance, and told her that he had cheated after a big show in Manchester- completely shattering her view of love. Her memory of their five years together wrecked forever, there was no way she could forgive him.
Immediately, the petite brunette turned to her best friends Spencer Smith, Dallon Weekes, Ian Crawford, and Brendon Urie- members of pop-punk heroes Panic! at the Disco, for whom Claudia was the head stylist working on the tour.
Spencer, Ian, and Dallon were like big brothers who did everything in their power to make Claudia forget about Pete... And then there was Brendon. The same Brendon Urie who didn’t have an emotional bone in his body- the womanizing bad boy who’s head would, in Claudia estimation, absolutely explode at the thought of a relationship lasting more than one night- the LAST person Claudia would expect to help her through this tough time. It was Brendon who found Claudia crying silently on a dressing room couch, went up to her, and kissed her firmly and fully, giving her the first release she had had in months.
For weeks they had lived on the philosophy of “this is it and it’s not going anywhere else.” Now, Claudia was thrown off.
Brendon answered begrudgingly, “I’m not caught up. I just want to know where you’re at.”
Claudia uncomfortably shifted her toes and let the sand run between them. “I don’t know...” She answered with an edge on her tone.
“Are you sad? Angry? Spiteful?”
“I said I don’t know! I’ve never dealt with this feeling before, alright? I don’t know what it is.”
“Well, let me ask you this. What led you to do this?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean THIS. US. What inside of you made this happen?” Brendon pressed.
“I’m going to say it again, I don’t know. I was so full of pent up SOMETHING that I acted on the first, strongest feeling I had, which happened to be my feelings for you.” Claudia explained.
“What are your feelings for me?”
“Brendon, please-”
“Do you LIKE me? Is it just physical? Is it sex is it passion is it relief is it lov-”
Claudia practically snarled and winced visibly. “Don’t. Say. That. Word.”
Brendon shied away at her reaction and whispered. “I just want to know.”
“It’s just like I told you from the beginning. If you don’t care, then I don’t care, it’s whatever.”
“And if I do care?”
“Why?... Do you?”
“Yes.”
The single word hit Claudia’s chest like a gong.
“You mean you care if we continue fucking, like all your other hook-ups?” She tried to clarify.
“Not at all. I thought that’s what it’d be between us... but it’s not at all. I spent three years abandoning anything not temporary, anything rooted deep. Every other girl made that easy. You pull me away from that. I got lost in the rock star life of a man refusing to grow up. And then you...”
“Weighed you down? Bummed you out? Unabashedly threw you into a pessimistic, gray reality?”
“You made me WANT to grow up.” He said earnestly. “Before anything between us ever happened, I was changing my entire way of life for you.”
Claudia almost couldn’t believe the gentle waves were still rolling in, the seagulls were still squawking in the distance, and the Sun was still sinking below the horizon as Brendon spoke. It was like being in another Universe with a Brendon she had never met before. “What are you saying?”
“I want to be more than your hook-up, your friend with benefits, your therapeutical fuck buddy... And I think we already are more than that.”
“I can’t get crushed again. I won’t let myself.”
“I won’t hurt you.”
“And why should I believe that? From you of all people?”
Brendon pulled Claudia’s arm to make her face him. A serious expression filled his smooth face- his famously round eyes blazing with meaning. “Because YOU are YOU and YOU mean more to me than anything. YOU make me different. YOU make me the man I want to be.”
Claudia, trying to escape the sudden rush of emotions, rolled her eyes and halfheartedly tried to flinch away. “Two weeks from now you’ll be at an after-party in another city, and a girl will be all up on you, and you’ll forget ever having this conversation.”
“Damn it, Claudia! That’s not the person I want you to know anymore!” He shouted, not letting her fall away from his touch.
She shouted back, “it’s who you are!”
“It’s who I WAS! I’m not a quitter, you know that much about me. I hate it. HATE it. I won’t quit on us.”
“What makes you think I’m ready for this?”
Brendon took a deep breath and contemplated how to explain this. Claudia was amazed at his ability to explain these feelings, since she had figured he had never experienced anything more complicated than “horny.” “I know what it’s like to have meaningless connections, empty sex, pointless pleasure... That’s not what happens when you and I are together. That’s how I know.”
“It’s real.” She whispered, understanding the truth to what Brendon was saying.
“It’s more than real. It’s prophetic- it’s telling us, SCREAMING at us, why all these things between you and Pete and me and my immaturity have happened... To finally bring us together and give us a real future together.”
Claudia shook her head, but slowly let the door to her heart creep open. “Why me?”
Brendon, for the first time that night, smiled. “For every possible reason. Everything has led me to you. You’re more than all the pretty girls on a Saturday night.”