Tell You All the Time
1/1
“I can’t do it Erik.” Charles whispered at the window, his eyes set heavily on the large satellite dish still pointed towards the house, he never did ask Erik to turn it back, too many memories, too much sentimental value to set it right now.
Erik glanced up from his book, his brow knitted in confusion when Charles didn’t turn to look at him. “Can’t do what?” Erik asked climbing to his feet when Charles didn’t answer. “Charles is everything alright?” he requested his hands now on the professor’s shoulders and his mouth inches from his ear.
“This. Us. I simply can not do it anymore, my friend.” He stated, swallowing hard when Erik pulled back. “The things you want, what you need.” Charles began; ignoring the roll of Erik’s eyes. “I am unable to be who it was you wanted before, I’m sorry.”
This wasn’t the first time Charles had tried to push him away, heck it wasn’t the first time this week that Charles had said that they couldn’t be together anymore, that there was nothing left for Erik. Erik more than anyone knew that he didn’t mean it, that he was trying to soften the blow for himself by beating Erik to the punch.
“You are being ridiculous, Charles.” Erik stated with a sigh. “As you have been for a while now.”
“My legs don’t work Erik!” Charles snapped, “I can’t feel anything below the waist. How am I suppose to—“
“Don’t even say it!” Erik warned sharply, curling the handles of Charles’ wheelchair up with a pitch screech. “There is nothing below the waist that I want from you, the parts I want work perfectly fine.” Erik forced, sighing softly when the change on their night stand rattled in his anger.
“I know that it will never be enough,” Charles breathed, forcing himself to look up when Erik moved to stand between him and the window. “We both know that one day, you will want more, and I will not be able to give it to you, not now.”
“Charles,” Erik whispered softly, taking Charles’ chin between his forefinger and thumb until their eyes met and Erik smiled. “I do not want anything below your waist,” he stated firmly and Charles forced himself not to look away. “I want your eyes, so that you can always see how much I love you, and your ears so that you can hear how much I need and want you.” Erik breathed touching his mouth to Charles’s forehead and nipping at his ear affectionately.
Charles swallowed because this wasn’t the first time he had heard this speech either, he knew the next line like he knew that his heart would beat in perfect rhythm with his body, and he knew that Erik knew that Charles was always one line ahead of him, but continued anyway because at least it eased Charles’ doubts for a few days.
Erik’s hands lay across Charles arms and he stroked his thumb softly against the threads of Charles’ cardigan. “I want your arms so I can feel you wrapped around my neck in the night, like the leech you are sometimes.” Erik smiled playful and Charles laughed, as he always did. “And these,” Erik whispered his mouth touching to Charles in a light kiss, “almost more than anything I want these,” He whispered, “I want them to stop talking nonsense and just babble with flushed confessions of love and kisses that make everything seem like it’s perfect.”
Charles felt his heart race when Erik kissed him again.
“Most importantly,” Erik began trailing his hand up past Charles’ arm and down over his chest, stopping when he could feel the steady rhythm of Charles’ heart under layers of fabric, skin and bone. “I want this to keep beating, and as long as it does. I’m always going to be here. You can’t get rid of me Charles.”
“But eventually—“
“No, I did not stay here with you because you could forefill some form of sexual miracle!” Erik bit back a cringe when Charles smirked. “I love you for you, for who you are and not what you look like.” Erik stated firmly, “So stop trying to push me away.”
Charles didn’t say anything because he knew what was coming next, he could see the way the sentence built up on Erik’s mind and how much he hated to say it, how much he had loathed Raven for even telling Charles what he had said under the influence of drink.
“Besides,” Erik grumbled. “Metal is sexy.”
Charles laughed joyously his hands grasping Erik’s face until their lips met again.
Erik glanced up from his book, his brow knitted in confusion when Charles didn’t turn to look at him. “Can’t do what?” Erik asked climbing to his feet when Charles didn’t answer. “Charles is everything alright?” he requested his hands now on the professor’s shoulders and his mouth inches from his ear.
“This. Us. I simply can not do it anymore, my friend.” He stated, swallowing hard when Erik pulled back. “The things you want, what you need.” Charles began; ignoring the roll of Erik’s eyes. “I am unable to be who it was you wanted before, I’m sorry.”
This wasn’t the first time Charles had tried to push him away, heck it wasn’t the first time this week that Charles had said that they couldn’t be together anymore, that there was nothing left for Erik. Erik more than anyone knew that he didn’t mean it, that he was trying to soften the blow for himself by beating Erik to the punch.
“You are being ridiculous, Charles.” Erik stated with a sigh. “As you have been for a while now.”
“My legs don’t work Erik!” Charles snapped, “I can’t feel anything below the waist. How am I suppose to—“
“Don’t even say it!” Erik warned sharply, curling the handles of Charles’ wheelchair up with a pitch screech. “There is nothing below the waist that I want from you, the parts I want work perfectly fine.” Erik forced, sighing softly when the change on their night stand rattled in his anger.
“I know that it will never be enough,” Charles breathed, forcing himself to look up when Erik moved to stand between him and the window. “We both know that one day, you will want more, and I will not be able to give it to you, not now.”
“Charles,” Erik whispered softly, taking Charles’ chin between his forefinger and thumb until their eyes met and Erik smiled. “I do not want anything below your waist,” he stated firmly and Charles forced himself not to look away. “I want your eyes, so that you can always see how much I love you, and your ears so that you can hear how much I need and want you.” Erik breathed touching his mouth to Charles’s forehead and nipping at his ear affectionately.
Charles swallowed because this wasn’t the first time he had heard this speech either, he knew the next line like he knew that his heart would beat in perfect rhythm with his body, and he knew that Erik knew that Charles was always one line ahead of him, but continued anyway because at least it eased Charles’ doubts for a few days.
Erik’s hands lay across Charles arms and he stroked his thumb softly against the threads of Charles’ cardigan. “I want your arms so I can feel you wrapped around my neck in the night, like the leech you are sometimes.” Erik smiled playful and Charles laughed, as he always did. “And these,” Erik whispered his mouth touching to Charles in a light kiss, “almost more than anything I want these,” He whispered, “I want them to stop talking nonsense and just babble with flushed confessions of love and kisses that make everything seem like it’s perfect.”
Charles felt his heart race when Erik kissed him again.
“Most importantly,” Erik began trailing his hand up past Charles’ arm and down over his chest, stopping when he could feel the steady rhythm of Charles’ heart under layers of fabric, skin and bone. “I want this to keep beating, and as long as it does. I’m always going to be here. You can’t get rid of me Charles.”
“But eventually—“
“No, I did not stay here with you because you could forefill some form of sexual miracle!” Erik bit back a cringe when Charles smirked. “I love you for you, for who you are and not what you look like.” Erik stated firmly, “So stop trying to push me away.”
Charles didn’t say anything because he knew what was coming next, he could see the way the sentence built up on Erik’s mind and how much he hated to say it, how much he had loathed Raven for even telling Charles what he had said under the influence of drink.
“Besides,” Erik grumbled. “Metal is sexy.”
Charles laughed joyously his hands grasping Erik’s face until their lips met again.