Miles Away From Those I Love

-Brian's POV-

It's been eight long months since I last saw my family. Eight months since I hung out with friends. Eight months since I held my wife in my arms. I was a Fighter Pilot for the US Air Force and was currently stationed in the Middle East. I loved flying planes and still couldn't believe I was doing it for a living. Other than music it was my biggest passion and even though I loved it I really couldn't wait to go home.

Only two more days.

In two days I would be home. I was leaving tonight for the states and from there I would fly home to California. I was a little nervous though. Even though I had received letters from my family and the guys I had never heard from Jen. I don't know if my letters weren't getting to her or if her's weren't getting to me but I haven't heard a word from her since I left.

I had been able to call twice and both times Matt answered the phone. I had asked him and the rest of the guys to take care of Jen for me while I was gone. I didn't know how long I'd be gone or if I would ever come back home so I had made Jimmy promise me that if that happened he would take care of her. I knew he would they were best friends but I needed to hear the words. I needed to hear him say that if anything happened to me he'd take care of her for me.

I still found it strange that Matt was there. I knew he and Jen were friends but they had never been that close. When I'd ask to talk to her he'd say she was busy or taking a nap and that he'd tell her I had called. His tone of voice always seemed off and I had wondered if something was going on behind my back but I knew Jen better than that. She would never cheat on me.

I remember my last letter from Jimmy which I received about a month ago. He'd mentioned that Matt had been spending a lot of time at the house lately. He'd stop by to check on Jen and Matt's car would be in the driveway. Apparently instead of stopping by once or twice a week he'd been coming over every single day and staying for hours at a time. Jimmy says that Jen is lonely most of the time and maybe that Matt is doing it so she'll have someone to talk to. I don't know the real reason but I do know one thing as soon as I get home it's going to stop.

I smiled as I stared at our wedding photo that was taped to the wall in my bunk. I missed Jen like crazy and hated that we were so far apart. We had been married for three years and had been trying desperately to start a family but Jen could never get pregnant. We both got tested and found out that Jen wasn't able to get pregnant naturally. If we wanted a baby we'd either have to adopt or get in vitro. We knew we wanted a baby of our own so we went with in vitro about two weeks before I left Jen had the procedure done.

I still don't know if she was able to get pregnant and if she was I missed her entire pregnancy.

The thought of that alone brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't imagine her having to go through everything alone. I should be there with her through it all but instead I was here. Thousands of miles away from her but I would find out my answer soon enough. In two days I would see my wife with either a flat stomach or a pregnant belly.

And I couldn't wait.

"Haner! Get up. You're leaving early."

I was already packed with the exception of the pictures I had been looking at so I quickly grabbed them and stuffed them into my bag. I did my best to make sure to not damage them before throwing my bag over my shoulder and walking out the door for the last time.

I tried to sleep on the plane but I was just too excited. I would be getting home sooner than I expected which meant I could surprise Jen. I landed in New York where I had a two hour layover so once I got my bags and to the gate I got a quick bite of food before boarding my final flight. My flight to California.

When I stepped off the plane I had never been so happy to be home in my life. As I went to get my bags several people thanked me for what I had done for our country, some even giving me a hug. Since no one knew I was home I was going to have to get a cab. I had no idea how I was going to pay for the damn thing but luckily I didn't have to worry about it. The moment I stepped outside I saw a man holding a sign that said 'Haner'.

He took my bags and placed them into the trunk of a very nice looking car before introducing himself to me. His name was Edward and he was going to be driving me home.

I got into the car and stared out the window the entire way there. I had Edward stop at a florist so I could pick up some flowers for Jen before he drove me the rest of the way home.

As soon as he pulled into the driveway I felt the tears forming in my eyes. Edward smiled as he went to get my bags. I got out of the car and thanked him as he placed them into my hands and left. Turning around I stared at my home for a few seconds before walking up to the front door. I set my bags down and got the spare key from mail box that was connected to our house and unlocked the door. Walking inside I noticed how dark the house looked and called out for my wife.

"Jen?"

No response.

"Jenna baby? Are you home?"

I frowned once I realized I was only talking to myself. I figured maybe she couldn't hear me because she was asleep so I ran up the stairs only to find our bed empty. I then proceeded to check every room and once I reached the last room I stopped dead in my tracks.

Three cribs were scattered throughout the room. A changing table was along one wall and on the opposite side of the room sat a rocking chair.

"Brian?"

Turning around I came face to face with the last person I wanted to see.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"In case you forgot I live here Matt. What are you doing here?"

I couldn't believe he had the nerve to ask me what I was doing in my own home.

"I came to get Jen's slippers."

"Where is she?"

"She's in the hospital I--"

I was out the door before he could even finish his sentence. Since his car was in the driveway I jumped in and sped off to the hospital. Fucker should have known better than to leave his keys in the car.

I didn't even bother asking what room she was in as I raced into the hospital I just followed the signs that said where the Materinity Ward was. I ran as fast as I could and nearly crashed into Jimmy who had just stepped out of the waiting room.

"Brian? Oh my god you're back!" He hugged me tight and as glad as I was to see him all I wanted was to get to my wife.

"W-where's Jen?"

"Room 279."

I took off again and skidded to a stop once I reached her room. The door was open so I could clearly see her. She was resting on the bed and hadn't seen me yet. I didn't want to scare her so I slowly walked in and smiled when she finally looked up at me.

"Hey baby."

"Brian!"

She was trying to get out of the bed to get to me but I rushed to her side before she could hurt herself and took her into my arms. Neither of us said anything for several minutes. The only sound that could be heard was us crying. I wasn't the crying type but I honestly never thought I'd get to hold her in my arms again. There was just no way I could hold them in.

"I can't believe you're here." She said pulling back slightly to look at her. I nearly melted when she reached up and caressed my face. "How did you know I was here?"

"Matt. He said he was getting your slippers. Jen, is there something I should know?" I don't know why I chose that moment to ask but I couldn't help but notice the confused look on her face.

"What do you mean?"

"Jimmy said Matt's been at the house a lot. He even answered when I called. Didn't you get my messages?"

She shook her head with tears in her eyes. "I didn't know you called."

"What about my letters? Did you get those?"

"No. Did you get mine?"

"No."

I was trying my best to stay calm but inside I was boiling. Things were starting to make sense now. The letters had gotten to the house but Matt had gotten to them before Jen could. He then took her letters to me and did who knows what with them. He was trying to take my place. He figured that I wouldn't come home and that he could weasel his way into her life.

Over my dead body.

Jen's warm hand on my cheek tore me away from my thoughts. I looked at the smile on her face and couldn't help but smile back.

"I have something to tell you."

"Oh?"

She nodded. "It worked baby. The in vitro worked."

Even though I had seen the nursery I couldn't stop the smile from appearing on my face.

"We're parents."

I learned that I had a son and two daughters. All three of them still nameless. When we first started trying to have a baby we made a list of names we liked. Each of us had a list then once we compared them we made one list from the names we liked the best. I wasn't at all surprised to see that Jen had the list with her.

We had no trouble picking a name for our son. We knew we wanted his middle name to be James. If it hadn't been for Jimmy we never would have met. He was the one that brought us together. For his first name we wanted something simple that wasn't extremely popular. For some reason I had always liked the name Nathan. It was also one of the names that was on the top of our list.

Nathan James Haner.

Our girls were a whole other story though. While we had a ton of names to choose from our problem was we liked too many of them.

By now I had kicked off my shoes and was laying next to Jen in her bed. She had her head resting comfortably on my chest while we looked over our list.

"Matt said you were dead."

"What?" I nearly dropped the piece of paper in my hands as I looked down at my wife.

"It was about a month ago. He said the reason I hadn't heard from you was because.." I could hear her voice cracking as she held back her tears and I was thankful that Matt was nowhere near me. If he was he'd need his own fucking hospital room.

"I didn't believe him. I just couldn't. But.. I had decided that I'd name the babies after you. Our son's middle name would have been Elwin. One of our girls would have been Addisyn and the other Brianna."

"I've got an idea."

"What's that?" She asked looking up at me.

"Well both of us picked Nathan's name why don't we do the same for the girls?"

Jen smiled. "I'd like that."

Since she had already decided on Addisyn and Brianna I wanted to honor that wish for her. We each choose a first name and a middle name and put them together until we found something we liked. Since Jen had chose Addisyn I thought long and hard on a middle name for her. The entire time I was gone I relied on Hope and Faith. That I would make it home alive and in one piece.

Addisyn Faith Haner.

We decided to change Brianna to Brianne and make it her middle name which meant I had to choose her first name. Since Jen had named Addisyn after me I wanted to choose something I knew Jen loved. Even though the name was pretty popular something about it just stood out to us. Since I had pretty much chose Nathan's name I wanted one of Jen's picks to be choosen as well.

Sophia Brianne Haner.

Addisyn, Nathan, and Sophia were in the nursery and I couldn't wait to see them. With the help of a nurse we got Jen into a wheelchair and I pushed her towards the nursery. One look at my babies and I just lost it. We had tried so hard for so long and now we were the parents of three beautiful and healthy children.

They were pretty small but they didn't need to be in incubators so I was able to hold them. I sat down on the chair that a nurse provided for me before she placed my son into my arms.

"Hey Buddy." I smiled. "I'm your Daddy."

Nathan snuggled up to me and I felt myself melting. I held each one of my children and was instantly in love with them. As I held Sophia I noticed a figure in the window and looked up to see Matt staring at me.

Jen noticed him too and she tensed up a bit.

"Baby are you okay?" I asked looking at her.

"He just won't leave me alone. He's always following me."

"What do you mean following you?" I asked as Sophia started squirming in my arms.

"He's always around and it's starting to really creep me out. After you left he would come by once a week just like the other guys but.." She trailed off with a sigh before continuing. "Ever since I started showing he's been coming around more. Insisting that he go to doctor's appointments with me. Telling me to call him if I have a craving for something. Brian if I didn't know any better I would say he's trying to replace you."

I looked back at Matt before smiling at Jen. "He's not going to replace me baby. I'm not leaving you again."

After a few minutes I carefully handed Sophia back to the nurse before I took Jen back to her room so she could rest. I stayed with her for a few minutes after she fell asleep before I got up and headed into the hall and straight into Matt.

"Stop following my wife."

He looked at me confused. "I'm not following her dude."

"Oh yeah?" I pushed him back. "Then explain to me why every letter I sent never got to her or why her letters never got to me? Why any chance I had to call you answered the phone then never told her I called? And to top it all of off why the fuck would you tell her I died?"

I was trying my best not to scream or punch him in the face. I was not about to get kicked out of this hospital because of him.

"I was only doing what you wanted. I was taking care of her."

"I asked you to check up on her once or twice a week not to practically move into my fucking house."

"She needed someone with her Brian. Would you rather I not have come over at all?"

I stood there and thought about it for a minute. I really didn't want him anywhere near my wife. He's taken girlfriends from me before I was not about to let him take my wife too.

"Yes. Stay away from Jen."

He shook his head. "I can't do that. She needs me."

"She doesn't need you Matt. She has me."

"Until you leave again."

I narrowed my eyes. "You'd like that wouldn't you? You think if I'm out of the way she'll just fall in love with you right?"

"I could take better care of her and you know it."

"Yeah? And what what about three screaming babies. Would you take better care of them too?"

He didn't say anything and I felt my blood begin to boil. He wanted nothing to do with my children but had no problem telling me that Jen was better off without me.

I wanted to say more but I could hear Jen calling for me. I turned and went back into her room to see her looking at me with tired eyes. She looked exhausted.

"What's wrong baby?" I asked taking her hand in mine.

"I can't sleep."

"What can I do?"

"Will you lay with me?"

I nodded and kicked off my shoes before carefully climbing into the bed with her. She rested her head against my chest and closed her eyes. I kissed her forehead and made sure the blanket was over her so she wouldn't get cold.

She was sound asleep in no time.



I hate changing diapers.

Jen and the triplets have been home for two weeks now and I was on diaper duty. As I was changing Addisyn's diaper I heard the doorbell ring. Jen was already downstairs so I heard the door open before it quickly closed.

"What are you doing here?"

I ignored it at first but then I heard his voice.

"I wanted to see you."

"Go home Matt."

I finished changing Addisyn and picked her up before making my way out into the hall to hear better.

"Jenna.."

"No Matt. Brian is my husband and I love him. The only thing we will ever be is friends."

"We'll see about that."

Seconds later the door slammed shut and Addisyn looked at me with wide eyes. I headed back into the nursey to sooth her and check to see if Nathan and Sophia needed changed too. They didn't but as soon as I set Addisyn back in her crib the phone rang.

"Brian it's for you!"

"Thanks babe."

I rushed into our bedroom and grabbed the phone, placing it to my ear and regretting it the second that I did.

"Hello?.. Hello Sir... thank you. Okay what is it?... but you said that.. yes.. yes I understand... When?...Alright. Thank you Sir."

I set the phone down and looked up when I noticed Jen standing in the doorway.

"You have to go don't you?"

I just nodded and sat down on the edge of our bed. I felt the bed dip as Jen sat down beside me. I knew I would regret the words I was going to say but they deserved a better life. They deserved someone that would be there with them all the time.

It killed me to see the tears falling from her eyes. She of course tried to fight me on it but I wouldn't let her.

"Please Brian, I can't do this without you."

"Yes you can." I whispered as I wiped her tears away with my thumbs. "You'll... you'll find someone that can there for you the way I can't."

"But I love you."

"I love you too." I kissed her softly. "More than you'll ever know and.. I'm doing this in case I don't come back."

"Don't talk like that. You will come back."

"They'll need a father Jenna."

"You're their father damnit!" She screamed and jumped up from the bed. I knew she was crying and it was breaking my heart but I had to do what was best for her and our kids so I did the only thing I knew to do.

I walked out and never came back.



It's been two years since I left and I feel more alone than I ever have before. My babies are two now and have no idea I even exist. I've seen several pictures from them from the only person that knows I'm around.

Jimmy.

He's been keeping me updated on things and it saddens me that Jen is still single. She refuses to go out with anyone and says that the only men she needs is her father, our son, and Jimmy.

My children are beautiful. Nathan looks just like me. Addisyn's hair is light brown while Sophia's is dark. They also call Jimmy Daddy. It kills me that they do but he's the closest thing to a father that they have.

Right now they are at the park and I'm watching them from afar. It's the only time I get to see them and they're happy. They laugh and run around and that let's me know I did the right thing. I can see an emptiness in Jen's eyes as I look at her. She's clearly happy with our babies but it doesn't take a genius to know that she's lonely.

I look down at the wedding band that I've never been able to take off. I just can't stop loving her no matter how hard I try. She will always be the only one for me.

"Hi."

Turning my head my eyes widen when I notice a child standing next to me. Not just any child but my child.

"Hi."

"Who you?"

I do my best to hide the frown on my face as I kneel down in front of my son. "I'm your Da.. I'm Brian." I held my hand out to him and watched him stare at it as if he didn't quite know what to do.

"I Nafan." He said before placing his little hand in mine. "No cwy Bwian." Nathan said before stepping closer and wiping my tears away with his hands.

"I'm okay Buddy." I said with a small smile and my heart melted when he smiled back.

"Nathan!"

"You better get back your Mom." I told him.

He looked at me for a few seconds before turning and running away. The second he was gone I broke down and I didn't care who saw me. A few minutes passed by when I saw a shadow in front of me. Looking up I was more than shocked to see Jen staring back at me. I quickly got to my feet and started to leave when she grabbed my arm. I turned to look at her and it was only then that I noticed my girls standing beside her.

"I saw you with him." She said quietly.

"Jen I.."

She shook her head. "You deserve to see them too." She looked down at the girls before stepping back. "It's okay he won't hurt you."

Addisyn and Sophia just stared at me for the longest time before they slowly moved towards me. I knelt down again and watched them closely. I couldn't get over how beautiful they were.

Sophia seemed scared of me but Addisyn didn't. She stopped right in front of me and just stared as if she was trying to figure out who I was.

"Mommy?!"

"Yes Addi?"

"Him's Daddy's friend!"

Jen and I just looked at each other before I quickly looked away. I knew one day I'd hear one of them call him Daddy but I didn't think it would hurt this much and I just couldn't take it anymore.

"I should go."

"Brian.."

I shook my head and got to my feet. "I shouldn't have come."

I heard her choke on a sob before she lifted both girls into her arms and walked away. It was the last time I ever saw them.

I made my way back to my apartment and packed my bags. I did nothing but make her cry and I wouldn't do that anymore. As much as I wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her I loved her I couldn't. I had to let her go.

I walked past the park one final time and saw all three of my kids playing in the sandbox. Jen was only a few feet away from them with a tear stained face. She was trying not to cry in front of them. I looked back to our kids and had never felt more proud. I had helped create these perfect little lives. It was by far the best thing I had ever done and I hoped that one day they would understand why I left. That one day I could have some kind of relationship with them but I would understand if they didn't.

I began to walk away, not paying any attention to where I was going. I didn't even see the car until it was too late.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw the most beautiful angel staring back at me.

"Brian.."

"Shh.. promise me something.."

"Anything."

"Tell them.. about me... and that I.. love them.. very much."

"You tell them." She cried.

"I love you Jenna."

"I love you too."

I smiled softly at her before my eyes started to close and I could now watch over them from heaven.