The World Inside of You

oo6.

I realized at about three in the morning that I wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep. I tossed and turned under my blankets until birds started chirping outside, then sighed and snapped the light back on, stretching and running a hand through my hair. My laptop occupied the side of the bed that used to belong to Parker, but I tried not to think of that when I dragged it over onto my lap and turned it on.

My messenger service popped up straight away, signing me in automatically. There were a couple of people from college online, the assigned insomniacs and then I noticed at the bottom of the list a name I'd not seen for a while. Ambra. We hadn't spoken for a while but right then she was the only person I wanted to talk to.

InsaneZane:
Shouldn't you be sleeping?

MissAmbra:
Shouldn't you?

InsaneZane:
Isn't it rude to answer a question with a question?

MissAmbra:
Wasn't it you who taught me how to do it?

I laughed out loud at the computer screen. That was what I liked best about Ambra, we fell into an easy joking kind of conversation. Even when I got down to the serious stuff after a half hour of 'how are you' and 'how is the job' pleasantries, she still managed to keep a smile on my face.

We changed to video call when I said I was half falling asleep, and her grinning, goofy face popped up on the screen.

"You're looking very fagalicious tonight Zane," she winked at me. I shook my head, just drinking her in. It'd been two years since we'd last met up and months since we'd talked or video called. Her hair was even shorter and dyed a dark brown, her eyes had dark shadows under them and she was sitting in a pale pink tank top.

"And you're looking very feminine, for you anyway," I finally retorted and she rolled her eyes. I was the only one in the family that didn't get on her case about her being gender fluid. Sometimes she was Ambra with tits and a great ass, and sometimes she was Ambra without tits but still with a great ass. Sometimes a boy, sometimes a girl, always awesome. Simple as that. "Your parents still giving you hell over your chest binding?"

"Don't they always," she groaned. "I've been feeling more like a girl these days. Maybe one day I'll always be a girl. But sometimes I just want to be a dude, so maybe one day I'll change for good. I just kind of want everybody to let me do what I want."

"I feel you," I pulled a face, wishing I could give her a hug. We'd grown up together, seeing as we were both only children and always figured we weren't going to fit in with what our parents wanted for us.

"But, more importantly, Z, have you told your parents yet?"

I sighed. I'd told her the big news, but I was kind of hoping she wouldn't make too big a deal out of it. Though I was forgetting it was a pretty serious situation.

"Nope. I'm kinda hoping I can find out who the dad is before I tell them."

"Good luck with that."

"Thanks Ambra, I'll need it," I muttered, knowing that if my fun, over the top cousin thought it was serious, then I might have been in deeper trouble than I wanted to admit.
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Finally, I updated! <3