The Giant Wedding

Everyone was back at Kaikoura’s place now, listening to Zelda babble on and on about the “games” she had set up for them to play.
“This is stupid and lame, Zelda,” Ganondorf said. She glared at him.
“You WOULD think that! But I don’t care because I want everyone to do this!” she said angrily. Ganondorf glared right back at her but stopped talking. She cleared her throat and continued. “Anyway, this first game is for everyone to get to know their partner better -- considering only Legolas and Aragorn actually truly know each other...” This statement was pretty true. She continued. “So, everyone is going to say two things that are true about themselves and then one lie -- and everyone has to guess which one is the lie.” Everyone grumbled and muttered things to themselves. “Just do it! Let’s start with you, Ganondorf.”
“Of course,” he said, sighing. “Ummm... My name is... Betty... I’m tall and I’m a king...” Everyone looked at him.
“Umm.. I’m gonna have to sayyyy... You’re not a king?” Kaikoura said sarcastically. He glared at her.
“We obviously know which one is the lie, Ganon! Way to be a party pooper!” Zelda cried. “You go next, Rabia! But don’t make it as obvious as his!”
“I’m bisexual, I like nutella and my favorite animals are cats.” she said. Ganondorf stroked his beard in thought.
“Hmmm.. You don’t like nutella, do you?” he finally said. Rabia glared at him.
“... nutella is chocolatey stuff dumbass. Of course I like nutella.” she crossed her arms. “I’m pretty sure Sheik and Link both mentioned my love of chocolate to you...” Sheik took a guess this time.
“You’re not bisexual, are you?” he said. Rabia smiled.
“Awe, see Sheik is a good guesser. Is it Kaikoura’s turn?” Kaikoura sighed.
“Must it be?” she said. Everyone nodded. “Ugh... fine... Ummm... I’m... I’m an A cup.. Hrmm... I can swim aaaaaand... I’m naturally blonde.”
“Well, obviously the first one is true,” Ganondorf said. She hit him as hard as she could in the arm... IT WAS VERY UNEFFECTIVE! (Yep, had to go there.)
“Hmmm... Well, obviously you can swim...” Midna thought out loud...
“So you must be naturally blonde, correct?” Aragorn said.
“Yes! This is true!” she said. “So that leaves what!”
“...Wait, you AREN’T an A cup? You’re lying -- you can’t say all truths, cheater!” Ganondorf said. She hit him again.
“Ganondorf, how would you know! I think I know my own damn bra size!” She sat there, arms folded, in anger. “Legolas, you go now.”
“I play the harp, I love to read books about history, my middle name is Valandil.” Legolas said, smiling.
“The last one is a lie.” Aragorn and Kaikoura said at the same time. Legolas smiled and nodded.
“You’re turn Sheik!” Zelda said, punching him in the arm.
“Ow...” he said, rubbing where he had just been hit. “Umm... okay... I have red eyes, I’m part Zora aaaand... I’m wearing blue.”
“Sheeeeik! Everyone can see your eyes AND what you’re wearing!” Zelda whined. “Say something else! REDO!”
“Why? I did it, isn’t that all that matters?”
“SHEIK SHEIKAH, DO IT NOW!” she demanded.
“Creative, Zelda,” Kaikoura added in.
“Thank you! Now go!” she said.
“Ugh... fine... Umm I’m missing a tooth... Uhhh... I have a... neck... aaand I’m shorter than Link.”
“....I’m making the Sheik face right now...” Zelda said, making the Sheik face.
“That’s a tiny bit better!” he said. “Just deal with it!”
“Ugh... you suck...” she said.
“You’re missing a tooth?” Legolas guessed.
“Yeah, I’m not missing a tooth,” Sheik said.
“You’re shorter than Link?!” Rabia guessed, giggling. Sheik frowned.
“Yes, I’m shorter than Link. Aragorn, your turn.”
“I am a Dunedain, I am adopted, I like Justin Beiber,” he said.
“You’re adopted,” Ganondorf said.
“No...” Aragorn said.
“You don’t like Justin Beiber.” Legolas said, guessed. Aragorn nodded. Zelda sighed.
“This is boring me to death!” she said. “Let’s play something else! OOOOH I know! Spin the Bottle!”
“Ummm... Zelda? We’re getting married... Like, tomorrow.” Rabia said. Zelda shrugged.
“Oh well! It can be a combined bachelor and bachelorette party!” Ganondorf shook his head.
“No, that’s beyond childish and stupid. I REFUSE to play such a pointless game.” He folded his arms.
“That sucks! Cause you’re playin!” she said, grabbing a beer bottle from the recycling bin. “Now, I’ll spin first!” she said, sitting back down in the living room. She spun it, and soon enough, it landed on Legolas. “Would you be offended, Aragorn?” she asked.
“Not at all.” he said.
“Okay!” Zelda said. She leaned in and kissed Legolas on the lips -- no tongue, no teeth, no nothing. Everyone was surprised! “Okay, Leggy’s turn!” she said afterwards. Legolas spun the bottle and it landed on Sheik. Legolas winked at the shy Sheikah and kissed him on the cheek.
“Your turn Sheik.” Legolas said. Sheik sighed, and went to spin the bottle.
“Wait!” Zelda interrupted. “You have to take your damn bandages off to kiss someone, Sheik!” He sighed again.
“Must I?”
“Yes! Now do it!” she ordered. He did so, but only to avoid her going on about it. He spun the bottle and it landed on......... ZELDA.
“Ummm yeah, not gonna happen,” he said, going to spin the bottle again.
“Nope! Too late!” Ganondorf said. “You’ve already spun it, so you have to kiss her!” Sheik grumbled and shot Ganon a dirty look. He then quickly kissed her on the cheek.
“There,” he mumbled.
“D’awwwwwwwww!” Rabia said. Everyone stared at her. “...Sorry.” Zelda spun the bottle again -- and this time it landed on Kaikoura. Rabia burst into a fit of laughter, and they glared at her.
“Ugh, fine...” Zelda said. She quickly kissed Kaikoura then shuddered as she sat back down.
“THAAAAAANKS,” Kaikoura said to her shudder. She spun the bottle angrily. This caused it to land on Ganondorf. “I hate everything... Please, somebody kill me now...” she said.
“Umm, ewwww?” Ganondorf said, looking disgusted. Kaikoura braced herself, then quickly kissed him on the cheek.
“Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeck,” they both said. Then, it was Ganondorf’s turn. He spun it and, semi-luckily for him, it landed on Rabia.
“Okay, Rabia, sorry.” He leaned in to kiss her, and she grabbed him by the head and pulled him in. They then proceeded to make out. Everyone was shocked.
“Ummm RABIA?!” Zelda said, her eyes as wide as an eggplant. Rabia ignored her and continued. “Okayy, since they’re too BUSY, I guess it goes back to you Kaikoura.”
“Oh fuck my life, man. I’m praying for a miracle here -- PLEASE NOT ZELDA AGAIN!” she said, spinning the bottle. It spun and spun and spun... until it landed on Aragorn. She stood up and cheered. “YEAHHHHH, MOTHAFUCKAAAAAAHS! I get the guy with a beard!” She bent down and Aragorn kissed her cheek. “Yeahhhhhhhh, beeeeeeeeeards!” she said happily.
“Okay, it’s your turn Aragorn.” Zelda motioned for him to spin. He spun the bottle and laughed when it landed on Kaikoura again, then leaned forward and kissed her cheek.
“Beards are awesome...” she said. She spun the bottle again and it landed on Sheik. She looked at him and just stared awkwardly. He blushed. “Uhhh, I’m gonna feel creepy if I kiss you,” she said.
“Are you serious?!” Zelda screamed. “You two are ENGAGED! How would that be creepy if you kissed?!”
“Zelda, you’re really scaring me right now,” Kaikoura said.
“Sorry...” Kaikoura cleared her throat and looked back at Sheik.
“Don’t freak out Sheik, but I’m gonna kiss you,” she said slowly, as if preparing them for cliffdiving or something. Everyone stared and waited, which didn’t help at all. “....Do you mind not staring at us like that?! Sheesh...” she muttered. Everyone still stared. She sighed, and and leaned in to kiss him. Once they did, Zelda, Midna, Legolas, and Rabia (who had pulled away to do this) yelled,”AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!” Rabia then went back to making out with her fiance.
“Okay, so its Sheik’s turn now!” Zelda said.
“I don’t think we should play this anymore, Zelda,” Midna said. Zelda turned to her with a glare.
“And why NOT?!”
“It’s getting boring, two people have stopped playing, Sheik looks like he could use some fresh air, and the rehearsal dinner is in ninety minutes.” Midna replied. Zelda crossed her arms, but didn’t argue with Midna. Sheik darted for the door of the apartment and Kaikoura got up to get a drink. Legolas sat down next to Aragorn and held his hand tightly, laying his head on his shoulder.
“What’s wrong?” Aragorn asked. Legolas yawned hugely then smiled.
“Just a little tired.” He smiled. Zelda took out her compact mirror and started checking her makeup. Kaikoura came back in and smiled at Aragorn and Legolas, sniffling a little.
“...You guys are soooo cute.... You make me happy!” she hugged them. Aragorn chuckled.
“Why thank you! You and Sheik are pretty damn cute too.” He smiled.
“Hey Rabia. Rabia! Rabia!” Zelda yelled. Rabia pulled away from Ganondorf and looked at her friend.
“What?”
“Can I borrow your lipstick? I can’t find mine.” Zelda said.
“... I don’t wear lipstick...” Rabia replied, returning her attention back to Ganondorf.
“Oh. Well dammit. Does anyone here wear lipstick?” Zelda asked.
“Midna does, I believe,” Kaikoura said. Zelda just stared at her.
“....Anyone I like?” Kaikoura sighed.
“Well, I have colored lip balm, but you don’t like me either.”
“Damn, I’ll just have to go without then!” she said, shutting her compact and putting it away in her purse. Kaikoura just narrowed her eyes and walked away. Rabia pulled away from Ganondorf again.
“I just remembered! I have lipgloss!” she said, tossing it to Zelda.
“Thanks Rabia! … It doesn’t have Ganondorf spit on it does it?”
“... not yet.”
“Oh. Okay good.” she said, putting on the lipgloss as her best friend continued once again to make out with her fiance. She put on more lipgloss and winked at her reflection.
“I look hot.” she said. Sheik finally came back inside, looking slightly pale. She gasped. “Sheik! You look like you’ve seen a ghost! What happened?!” Everyone looked at her, shaking their heads. Sheik just ignored her and sat on the love seat on the other side of the room.”...Fine, don’t tell me!” She scoffed and started curling her eyelashes. Midna rolled her eyes at Zelda’s stupidity and looked at the clock.
“Guys,you might wanna start getting ready for the rehearsal.” Midna said.
“Why?” Rabia asked, rolling onto her side to look at Midna. “We don’t have to dress up or anything. We just have to get everyone there.” she said, shrugging.
“Still, you only have half an hour to get there.”
“Oh shit!” Rabia scurried into the other room to get her shoes on and the others followed suit. Kaikoura, Sheik, Aragorn, Legolas and Ganondorf pulled on their shoes quickly, and Zelda tugged on her heels. Midna and Arwen never removed their shoes so they were all ready. Rabia stumbled into the room in 7 inch heels and sighed. “I hate being short... but anyway, we have to hurry so... lets get some horses or something.” she said, walking outside. The others followed her outside and mounted the horses.
“Okay, I’m going to lead the way!” Zelda said, leading her horse out of the castle.
“We’re doomed,” Midna and Ganondorf said together. Zelda looked back at them and glared.
“Oh shut it! I know what I’m doing!” She flipped her hair off her shoulders and continued on. Rabia was having a hard time on her horse -- considering she was wearing seven inch heels. Ganondorf gave her a weird look.
“Why don’t you take your shoes off until we get there?” he said.
“Because that would’ve been the smart thing to do...” she replied, feeling stupid. She took the heels off and set them in the bag on the back of the horse. “Thank you, Ganondorf!” He mumbled in response. They continued riding for a while until they were in the northern part of Castle Town -- near the entrance to the castle. They got off their horses, Rabia and Kaikoura not quite so gracefully, and walked into the castle to greet their friends and family.