Heaven Can Wait

I was dressed and ready by the time the bus stopped at the newest location. While I wondered around I found a 24 hour laundromat at the end of the street. Once I'd gotten coffee at some deli, I hurried back to the bus. I grabbed Katie and my dirty clothes and headed back to the laundromat. Waiting and listening to all of the washing machines around me made me feel better. Even if only for the time I spent there. Why it did was beyond me, but it was comforting.

Kaite and I hadn't gotten going until a couple of hours later. My bad mood was back - no thanks to Shaun shooting me remarks about things I don't want tot alk about. I'd had a chance to talk to James and we were cool. He hadn't thought it was as big a deal as Shaun had made it out to be.

"Forget the Ging," James laughed as he hugged me. Katie popped up, on a buzz from her coffee/cocoa puff morning, and then that's when we'd headed out.

I'd been reluctant to tell Kaite about last night, but she pried it out of me. I mean she pried it all out of me, including how I felt and what I thought about everything. It was nice that I was able to share it all, but I felt awkward having someone else know about everything that was happening in my relationship situation.

Hanging out at the mall is always fun. I couldn't help but smile the entire time. Buying a couple of new shirts and getting a wink from the drop dead gorgeous PasSun cashier deffinatley played into it though.

Regardless, I still arrived back at the bus feeling slightly weighed down. Katie and I dropped our stuff in the back then went to head out and scour the skate park. As we reached the front of the bus I spotted Shaun sitting alone at the table. I slowed my pace as I watched him. He looked at us, his eyes eventually locking with mine. Shaun glared at me. His eyes were oozing with disgust as he scanned me. My mouth hung open a little as I took in the feeling of hate he was projecting on me.

It made me want to die. Why was this happening? Was it really that bad? I'd stopped walking. We stayed staring for a minute. It only got more and more tense. My eyes filled with tears. I needed to say something; I just had to. Shaun's face had gone from angry to blank, but it was still intimidating.

"Shaun," I finally croaked, "what did I do?" I finally got out as tears flowed from my eyes. "You know me and you know I'd deal with it even if I didn't want it. You knew I wasn't really going to freak out. How-wh-why would... I thought I knew you."

He still looked at me with that blank face. But I could see it in his eyes. I knew he was sorry. I knew it hurt him.

"Why couldn't you just talk to me about it? Why did you have to be a dick?"

Shaun was on me in one second flat. He wrapped his arms around me tight as he buried his face into my neck. It took a little, but I shoved him off of me.

"No," I said as I held up a shaking hand at him, "you don't get to do that." It physically hurt me to look at him. His eyes were on thier way to blood shot. I tore my eyes away from his teary face and hurried off the bus.

Katie didn't ask any questions. As soon as she saw me, she latched on in a hug. We spent the rest of the day together. We hardly spoke, but we were okay with it. No awkward feeling lingered or anything.

I headed back to the bus as a little after party started up. As usual. I changed and hit the light before I laid down to go to sleep.

I laid awake for a couple of hours. Luckily, nothing in particular was running through my head. I'd just zoned out listening to the sounds of outside. I checked the time on my phone and saw it was 10:00 at night. I flipped over onto my back with s heavy sigh. I threw my hand over the side of the couch and searched for the remote to the tv. Once I'd found it, I clicked it on and found some music videos to watch. Sometime in the middle of Coheed&Cambria's 'Welcome Home,' I finally knocked out.