Heaven Can Wait

Shaun had gone to get on line and I grabbed a table. The place was pretty empty. The line was a good size, but everyone was doing a hit and run. While I waited I thought up what to tell Shaun; how to say I was sorry and how I wished I'd used my head. This was a pretty hard thing to do. I mean, I had to do it in a way that was sincere. It had to be worded right as to not bring up other issues or start any new problems. Plus I had to make sure he heard me and understood that it had been blown into something it wasn't. He had to know that it wouldn't happen again.

Shaun sat in the seat across from me as he held up my drink. He leaned forward with his elbows on the table as he took a sip of his own drink.

"What time'd you go to sleep?" he asked.

"Probably like 5," I laughed lightly as he smiled.

"I just stayed up, so this," he said as she shook his cup a little, "is really saving me." he finished. I started to feel bad again. I wanted to tell him what I had worked out telling him in my mind... just I didn't want to bring it up. First, anyways. I felt like my coming here with him had been my step. Now he had to take a step.

He kept his topics to small things. By the time we'd left, I still had my words stuck on the tip of my tongue. Shaun held my hand as we walked back to the park. Okay so that was him taking a step... even if it wasn't the one I'd been anxiously anticipating. We were about half way back when he stopped abruptly.

"Okay, I just - I ... I need to get this off my chest." he said quickly as he stared into my eyes. I mean really staring into my eyes. My soul was practically telling him to back off.

"I'm sorry," he sarted as he squeezed my hand a little bit tighter. "I'm so sorry. And I hate to have to say that to you because they're just words. And they can't do anything... they can't take back the crap I put you through. They can't undo anything and I hate that. But I don't know what to do and how to make it better. I'm just... I love you August." he said. His eyes were swimming in tears but none had fallen from his eyes.

I pulled him into a hug, squeezing him tight.

"It's okay Shaun." That's all I could say. I couldn't remember a single word I'd thought up earlier. I didn't feel like saying it now anyways. I didn't have to.

"We should get back," Shaun mumbled into my shoulder a few minutes later.

"Okay," I said.

"Are we all right?" he mumbled again.

"We're fine... and I'm really sorry too."

"Okay." he said as he picked his head up. He kissed my neck gentley and smiled down at me, still a little solomnly. I pulled my arm around his waist and we finished walking back to the bus.

_________________________________________________________________

It was the final day of tour and it had brought us into the state of Nevada. The sake park looked out into empty desert. Katie and I had made our morning coffee and hurried off to the top of the bus. We stared at the secenery as the sun came up and everyone else woke up.

As we entered the bus again, there was a buzz of excitement, but a gloomy feeling. Everyone had had so much fun that it was hard to have to picture life without each other again. And it was really killing me because I wasn't sure when I'd be able to spend time with Shaun like this. All of the drama and problems had been cleared up from the other day. All in all it made me see Shaun in a different way. I appreciated him more as a person. Now I saw that things could happen between us that were rough; nothing is perfect not matter how strongly it'd come across as that. And it taught me how to see through Shaun's perspective.

The issue had made our bond stronger, which only made my leaving tougher.

The days demos were crazy. I'm not even sure tthey could have that title specifically. Since the minute people arrived at the park it was just an all out skate party. Never had I experienced such a laid back chill session. There was going to be a barbeque/dance party/all nighter. Holler at me with that. I love this life. Period.

A small crowd of us were hanging out on one of the ramps. The sun had just set and someone was working on hooking up a PA. Someone had asked Shaun about cutting his hair. I couldn't help but laugh as I looked back at him from my position on his lap.

"It'd have to be strategically done." Milton laughed as he came to his on conclusion.

"What do you think?" one of the girls who was hanging out asked me. I looked at Shaun again with a smile.

"I don't know, I don't think I'd really care... but if you did I'd be all over playing with it."

"Oh yeah?" he whispered as his left eyebrow rose up. I watched as his eyes scanned my face. Music suddenly blasted through the speakers around the park. He flinched and it made me smile. His eyes wondered around, looking at people who were jumping up and around as the started to dance. He looked like a little kid and it made my brain go into 'whaaaaaaaaa?' drool face mode.

As his eyes came back to meeting mine, that gloomy feeling settled in my stomach again.

"Let's dance," I whispered as I got up, pulling his hand gently.

Better make the most of this.

For an hour striaght we held our ground in the middle of the crowd. Shaun's hands grasped my hips, holding me close as song after song played. Our connection was only broken when Katie came through and blasted us with a super soaker that she'd gotten from God knows where. I took off chasing her down. She'd dissapered though. No surprise there; she's like a ninja.

"You're craaazy," Shaun shook his head as he practically tackled me to the ground.

"That's why I'm such a catch." I laughed, which actually made Shaun turn red. I took a step away from him and he looked down at me questioningly. I took another step away and he shuffled forward a little. Within a second I was running with Shaun hot on my tail.

"Oh my God!" he yelled as he approached the bus. I'd been hauling ass and I knew Shaun was harldy keeping up. I got onto the bus and hurried to the back. Shaun grabbed the door as I was trying to close it and a small battle ensued. Though I'd kicked his ass in that foot chase, Shaun won the door battle. Maybe if I didn't have this cast I'd have a better shot...

Shaun slid the door shut and stood looking at me; hands still pressed against the door from closing it. It wound up making his posture look slightly intimidating to me. He brought his casted hand up to my face as his eyes bore into mine. He placed his fingers gently on my lips and I kissed them.

"I can't believe it's over." he said quietly as he stepped closer to me. I leaned up and kissed him, wishing he hadn't said that. His hands traveled to my back and I pulled him even closer. The last thing I wanted to do was leave this. He pulled me over to the couch and brought me down with him as he laid back, earning a small laugh from each of us.