Heaven Can Wait

The next day I had made an appointment to do my hair. Jace was going to tag along on this adventure because we hadn't hung out for a while. Weirdo. The entire time he had sat making fun of me. The nickname 'berries&cream' got thrown in my face. True Jace style.

Two hours later, we stepped outside and Jace dragged me off to Panera. I couldn't refuse because he accused me of making him sit through that 'hell' which I hadn't. He'd done it on his own free will. True Jace style.

"How does your man feel about this?" he asked as he inspected my head.

"Jace." a voice called over the loud speaker. We grabbed out trays and took the last empty booth.

"I think he'll like it. Or something. But not hate it... or anything."

"Hmm," he nodded his head. He had that look on his face - the devious look... he was good enough at that look that it could make you want to crawl into a hole and shrivel up.

I sighed, "What?"

"Nothing," he laughed. "How're you guys doing?"

"Good," I shrugged.

"Talk about anything interesting lately?"

"Like?"

"Oh, maybe about you guys... and ACTUALLY being together?"

I rolled my eyes as I bit a pickle.

"Come on August! Just get it over with!" he sighed. He continued plotting out schemes for me and how to do it. I hated talking about this kind of stuff. Especially with Jace. He wasn't one of my girls, and it just made me feel awkward. Plus I felt this was more of an internal, solitary decision making kind of thing.

Another thing about Jace is that he has a way of implanting things in your head. For three days I had his plans playing on repeat in my brain. I'd be trying to go to sleep, and I'd start thinking about Shaun and where we stood. I just wanted to know what he thought about us. The only thing was that in order to ask, I'd have to bring it up. And I didn't want to make him feel pressured or like I wanted this or didn't want that.

I couldn't talk to him the same either. I felt self consious. He'd loved the hair. I made the mistake of mentioning the berries&cream thing. He took to it in a second.

_____________________________________________________________

"I just got word of this like... skate tour, kind of thing." Shaun told me a few weeks later.

"Cool," I said as I squeezed my toes in the grass. The nice weather had officially started. I love summer. Period.

"We're coming to New York," he said.

"No way?!"

"Yeah... Poughkeepsie," I smiled so wide it hurt. "I take your silence as a good thing." he chuckled.

"Yes," I said quickly. We didn't say anything for a while and I listened to the wind whistle over the phone. "Oh! Wait, when? Is this?"

"Two weeks,"

"Duuuude!!"

"I know," he laughed. "I figured we could work out some hanging out arrangements once it gets closer and everything," he added.

"Yeah,"

"Hey berries&cream?"

I threw my head back with a sigh, "What do you want from my exsistance?!" I yelled. Shaun laughed for a good minute.

"Nothing. I'll talk to you later." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Later," I whispered. Goose bumps crawled over my arms as I hung up. I'd been practically half a year since we'd met; since we'd physically seen each other. He had tried making plans to come to New York, but they always fell through. An anxious feeling flowed over me, both from being excited and from wondering what handing out would be like.

____________________________________________________________________

Mikaela and I were currently chilling at the park. The swings had been calling our names for a while now so we might as well've taken this outdoors. I'd called her up to tell her about Shaun's 'visit'once I'd finished talking to him that day last week. Yesterday I'd gotten our all access passes for Saturday's skateboarding extravaganza in the mail. Mikaela had yet to take hers off. We kept cracking jokes about being 'elite' and shit like that.

"Jace told me about the 'official' situation." Mikaela informed me as she spun in a circle. She made sure to put emphasis on the word offical.

"What'd he tell you?" I asked as I let my head drop.

"Well," Mikaela said as she stood from the swing and stretched, "that you, August, have an issue. You need to just... talk about it. In the words of Jace: grow a pair. I'm starting to feel the same way about this ya know." She went on as she walked over to the jungle gym.

"No, Mikae, don't let him suck you in!" I whined as I followed her up and around.

"Oh come on August! You guys know you like each other. You might as well make it legit. It's not like it'll change anything. There'll just be a title to it. And you guys will know for a fact that you are solely committed to each other." Mikaela said, sounding like the elder of the tribe. She paused in her rant as she ran across the little swinging bridge.

"I don't want to bring it up though." I sighed. That thought had been played over so many times in my head that it practically lost all meaning.

"Okay, but if he never brings it up, where will you be? You guys are gonna be stuck like this for the rest of your lives. It's really not that hard... you can practice on me if you want." she laughed as she started her way across the monkey bars. "But I'm being honest August. Work this out." I knew she was right. I stared at the ground as I swung from bar to bar behind her. I knew deep down that I would have to evnetually. Guess I'm just a later rather than sooner kind of person.

"And hey, how do you know he doesn't see other girls on the side if you're not together?" Mikaela added once she'd made it to the other end. My head shot up. Oh my God. She was right. I never thought about that. In that second of realization, my fingers just brushed the next bar, missing it. My left hand slipped from the bar I'd been holding and down i went.

Snap.