Stars in the Night

The letter in Brian’s hands seemed heavier than it should have been. He’d read it about ten times in the past five minutes. He thought that reading it over and over would take the pain away, but it hurt more each time. He gave up after a while and set the letter on his coffee table, his head lowering into the couch cushions behind him. His eyelids were heavy and his entire body was exhausted, a product of him not sleeping for three days.

He knew he looked like a mess; his hair askew, his clothes unwashed and his eyes droopy and baggy. Brian couldn’t give a fuck, though, seeing as he had no one to impress. He just wanted to grovel in his own misery and be left alone, which was a challenge because his friends could be nosy as fuck if they wanted to be.

“You shouldn’t keep reading that,” a voice drifted in next to him. He opened his eyes and turned his head to the right of him, the previously vacant space now occupied.

“You wrote it,” he murmured. The woman next to him gave him an unimpressed look, obviously knowing what he would say.

“That doesn’t mean I encourage it.” Brian’s eyes watched as she picked up the letter and stood, taking out a lighter and setting the paper on fire before dropping it into an empty garbage can. Brian was quickly on his feet, trying to save the letter that was far beyond redemption.

“Why the fuck would you do that?!” His brown eyes were angry while her hazel eyes stayed calm. They were always calm, even when Brian was being an ass.

“You need to move on,” she replied shortly.

The longer Brian looked at her, the harder it was for him to stay mad. He knew she was right; he was just too stubborn to admit anything. That seemed to be how he got into trouble in the first place.

~

“Are you sure you’re okay to drive?”

Brian looked at Lizzie and nodded, “I only had two drinks. You know I’m not a lightweight.”

Lizzie believed him and gave him the car keys before getting into the passenger seat. Brian wasn’t an idiot; he knew not to drive when drunk. He was true to his word when he said that he only had two drinks. Also, he was kind of a great drunk driver, that being discovered by accident. At a red light, Brian looked over to his girlfriend of four years. She was almost asleep, which wasn’t a surprise, since she would tend to get tired in moving cars.

Brian didn’t see the car speeding down the road to the right of him. He didn’t notice the headlights and getting closer as the light turned green and he put his foot on the gas pedal. He only noticed the drunk driver as the other car ran into his on his passenger side; Lizzie’s side. The next thing Brian remembered was waking up at the hospital and being told that his girlfriend was dead. Jimmy had given him a letter that Lizzie wanted to save for Brian’s birthday, but felt that it was appropriate to give him then. It wasn’t even a real letter, just a list of reasons why she loved Brian. His stubbornness was listed, but it did lead to terrible things.

Brian never stopped blaming himself.

~

“Stop dwelling on that,” Lizzie’s voice broke him out of his thoughts. “It’s depressing.”

Brian looked at her, sitting nonchalant on the couch again as if it were no big deal.

“You’re dead,” Brian said, making her look at him and cock an eyebrow. “You’re dead, and I’m asleep.”

Lizzie stayed staring at him with the same look that first captivated. She was always so calm and collected; her personality somehow fitting perfectly with Brian’s unpredictable and crazy one. They evened each other out, and Brian was an unbalanced mess without her.

“You know that saying that ghosts whose spirits are still on Earth have a purpose to fulfill?” Lizzie randomly asked. Brian nodded, “I don’t know what mine is yet. I think it has something to do with you. Do you blame yourself for the accident?”

“Lizzie, you’re dead. Of course I blame myself.”

“Well stop it, or I will haunt your ass.”

Brian, though glad to hear her crude humor again, didn’t laugh. The thought of her haunting him didn’t seem bad to him; it was actually quite endearing.

“Bri, you need to move on,” she repeated. “I’ll always be with you. Just look up at the stars.”

Brian smiled at her and knew she was right. He had to let her go and move on. He wasn’t responsible for the accident. As soon as he realized that, he woke up. Lizzie wasn’t there, but the list still was. He sighed and heaved himself up from the couch, going to his back patio. Brian didn’t know why Lizzie said to just look up at the stars, but that’s exactly what he did. The stars seemed to bring him closer to Lizzie.