Take Control

"What are yeh finkin' bout?" He asked Malorie as they entered the park down the road. She had been oddly quiet the whole way and although he wasn't one to pry it was now driving him mad.

She chuckled, "Nothing."

"Yeh bein' quiet. Are yeh finkin' bout what I said earlia?"

"Maybe..."

He sighed instantly. He should have known he wouldn't get away with keeping it simple. He glanced over at the girl as she stared over at a group of children chasing each other around. He felt as if he could trust her. As if he could tell her anything in the world and it would be ok. Then again, he felt that way about someone before and it didn't turn out well. He some how always wanted to believe the best in people he cared about which he assumed was the problem really.

"Her name was Allie." He said giving into his heart. He honestly knew she was different. He could just feel it.

"Propa fit bird. Did some modelin' for my company a bit. We met at a photoshoot, hit it off, and started datin'. It was good for a while, then again isn't most relationships at tha beginnin'?" He asked with a weak grin as they sat down on a bench, her eyes never leaving him, wanting to make sure she never missed a word.

"I stupidly, and well, I don't honestly fink I was now that I fink bout it, but then I was in love wif her. I thought so anyways. She was perfect ta meh. Beautiful, charmin', liked good music. Everyfing I fought I wanted. So needless ta say I was head ova heels for this bird. I fink she loved meh too. As fucked up as it sounds because, yeh know, when yeh love someone yeh don't hurt them yeah?" He said stifling a laugh as he looked ahead at the laughing children, the wind blowing his hair into his face.

"She started goin' out a lot more, I probably was ta blame a bit cause yeh know my mates, and I dunno, I still fink I blame myself a bit but I can't help it." He grumbled fiddling with his fingers nervously.

"What happened?" Malorie asked softly, more curious now than before.

"Well, she got on drugs propa bad. I mean, I can't say much, I've done my fair share, but it became an addiction to her. What she needed to survive. It became more important than our relationship, than her friends, everyfing." He said grabbing at his hair, "Look, I don't want ta tell yeh this shit. Yeh don't want ta hear it. It's propa depressin' yeh know?"

She grabbed his hand in hers causing his eyes to lock with her green ones.

"It's up to you, Oliver. I don't need to know anything you don't want to tell me." She said seriously.

"I know. Yeh propa amazin' yeh know that?" He asked with a grin and she shrugged as he leaned in kissing her cheek, "No. I want to tell yeh cause I want yeh ta undastand. I don't want yeh ta be offended by tha guys or fink I'm hidden fings from yeh. I want this ta be legit." He said moving his hand between the two of them.

"Ok." She whispered and he looked back down at their linked hands.

"I honestly tried ta help her. I did everyfing I could yeh know? Cause I loved her a lot. She was my world at this point. She had moved in wif meh, we were plannin' our future togetha. It was a serious fuckin' deal ta meh so I had to save her. It was only right." He continued, "This whole me tryin' ta help her fing went on for months. So long actuallah ta tha point where I found myself depressed, cryin' my fuckin' eyes out every night like a bird cause I didn't know what ta do anymore. How do yeh help someone who doesn't wanna help themselves?"

He sighed and ran his fingers over the palm of her hand repeatedly, "So I began to drink heavily. The guys would have to pick me up all houas of tha night, drag me to my house and shit. It was a disasta. I just didn't know how else ta deal so I drank myself into a coma everyday for weeks." He grumbled, "I'm not an alcoholic though. I mean, yeh went out wif us, yeh know I'm not."

"I know." She whispered her mind still processing the story.

"Life was just shit yeh know? My supposed best mate left tha band, my bird was a fuckin' drug addict, and here I was drinkin' myself dead. It literally was the first and only time I've eva truly hated myself. Then one day, Mattah, Lee and Vegan showed up at my house and fixed everyfing for meh. Well, not everyfing, but made me soba and took care of meh and talked some sense inta meh." He said looking at her with a grin, "They arent too bad of a group, huh?"

She chuckled and he looked straight ahead, "I ended fings wif Allie. Tha hardest fing I eva did. I couldn't bring myself down because of her and I tried ta help her. I did."

"Then she didn't love you as much as you loved her if she wasn't willing to try and get help for herself." Malorie spoke and he nodded, "Exactly. Took meh a long time ta realize that and I swore to myself I'd neva, eva put myself in that situation again. So I basically swore off relationships and threw myself into my work. I haven't seen her in I couldn't tell yeh how long. A part of meh wants ta know if she got help, but tha otha part would be too terrified to look for her because if she is dead, well, I'd ratha not know. Yeh neva stop carin' for someone. I mean, I don't love her, but still. Does that make sense?" He said giving her a look of confusion and she nodded, "Makes tons of sense actually."

"I knew yeh'd get it." He said with a grin, "Yeh tha first bird I've felt this way about since her. I've dated people, nuffin serious, and the guys probably scared off a few, but I dunno, everyfing is different wif yeh. I've neva told anyone that story eitha. Fuck. I'm soundin' like a propa twat!"

She laughed, "No you're not. I'm glad you told me this. Really."

He gave her a small grin and reached over, brushing her hair behind her ear, "Me too, love." He whispered leaning in and kissing her gently.

"I just fink me mates fink that'll happen again. I mean, I don't blame them, but still..." He added.

"I've never even smoked a cigarette, so I think I'll skip the drugs."

He chuckled, "Good to know."

He slid his arm around her waist as he planted kisses along her jaw, "Stay wif meh tonight."

"Ok." She responded as he pulled her closer to his side, "Don't you live with Tom?" She asked and he nodded, "Yeah, I don't care. The chances of him even be at home is slim to none. He's been at Vanessa's a lot." He smirked and she laughed, "Oh, of course."

"Come on." He said linking their hands and pulling her from the bench. They began their journey back to her apartment and Oli felt more certain than ever that he had made the right decision on asking her out.

"I feel like I poured all my dramatic, life shit out to yeh. So, yeh have any?" He asked causing her to laugh, "No, not really. Sorry to disappoint."

"Mhm, is a bit disappointin'. Why did yeh and yeh lass boyfriend break up?" He asked and she shrugged, "He was a bit on the feminine side. I mean come on, if I question who the girl is in the relationship you need to question your sexuality."

Oli instantly started laughing, "Please tell meh yeh said that."

"Uh, do you know me? Of course I did!"

"Poor bloke."

"Poor yank." She corrected and he laughed, "Makes sense now!" He teased and she elbowed him lightly.

"Yeh need a British man!"

"Like you and your skinny jeans?"

He scoffed, "Skinny jeans do not make yeh any less manly."

"Mhm."

He shot her a look, "Fineee." He stated dropping her hand and she couldn't help but laugh as they reached her apartment again.

"Want to come in?"

"Oh I don't know. Might make me too girly if I do." He joked and she rolled her eyes as she grabbed his arm and pulled him inside.

He wrapped his arms around her waist as she walked over to the couch.

"I need ta attempt to go by Drop Dead today." He said kissing her cheek as they sat down. Although he was there yesterday, a part of him would feel uneasy the whole day if he didn't go by there. He just had to make sure himself that everything was ok.

"Well, go."

"That sounded snappy." He responded and she laughed, "Well it wasn't."

He kissed her shoulder as he pulled her in closer, "I just wanna stay here wif yeh though."

She didn't respond and he gently placed his hand on her cheek making her face him. He then kissed her softly, "look, I'm going to go by the shop real quick and then I'm gonna come pick yeh up, ok?"

"Pick me up?"

"Yeah, we will go get dinna and then go ta my house."

"Ok." She responded with a grin and he kissed her once more before getting up from the couch.

"See yeh in a bit."

"I assumed so."

"Don't be a smart arse love. Not attractive." He joked and she shot him a look, "This coming from you."

He laughed his way to the door before saying goodbye. He had a good feeling about the whole thing between them. In fact, he was a bit hopeful which was new to him. He made his way to his car and drove the short distance to Drop Dead. Of course Tom was already there so he parked and headed inside only to come to a complete stop in the doorway.

"Look, he's not here and even if he was yeh wouldn't see him, ok? So leave." Tom said in a blunt tone he usually would never use towards a girl, but this was different. Oli even knew that.

Oli couldn't move from the spot he was in. It was like his feet were glued to the floor. He couldn't manage to even lift one up.

The girl snapped back at Tom with some not so nice words before spinning around only to have a surpised expression cross her face.

He barely even recognized the girl in front of him. He assumed that wasn't just because of the time they have spent apart.

"Oli." She finally said and he immediately winced for an unknown reason.

"Allie..." He responded once he was able to find his voice.

This was the last thing he ever expected or wanted, that he was certain of.