Flash Photography

I tried hard to smile and be nice to fans, but even they could tell something was off with me. I really didn’t have any right to be angry at John or Tay. They were just being friendly… I was just irritated with the fact that John didn’t like it when I hung out with Tay. She was pretty much the only person I talked to, aside from Pat. And I trusted Tay, but if she let it slip that I was a girl, then I’d lose the bet…

“Uh, Chace?” A guy called my name as he reluctantly approached me. “Hi. Um, this is for you,” he muttered, holding out a giant bag of Reese’s Pieces to me.

“For me?” I repeated incredulously, carefully taking the bag from him.

“Yeah…you mentioned that you liked these on Twitter, so…”

I didn’t even consider it creepy that he found that out from my Twitter. I didn’t think at all. I just hugged him tightly. Some of the girls around us were “Aww”ing at us. “Uh, sorry,” I laughed in apology when I let go. “You just… I was having a terrible night, but you just fixed that, bro. Thanks.”

“Why were you having a terrible night?” he asked, and that was when I realized we still had our arms around each other. Well, his arm was over my shoulders and my arm was around his waist because I was shorter than most guys.

“I was just, uh…” Crushing on my idol that obviously has no feelings towards me. “Thinking about some things that made me sad,” I tried to remain as vague as possible. “But, you know what, fuck that. What did you guys think of the show tonight?” I asked the small circle of people – mainly girls – that had gathered around me. We made small talk as I signed stuff, but the guy that gave me the Reese’s Pieces had to let me go for that. I felt bad that I wasn’t a guy, because… he was actually gay, and he was such a sweetheart.

“Can I have a picture kissing you?” he asked when most of the girls left. John had finally come out to sign, so everyone flocked to him.

“Sure,” I said with a shrug, smiling at his camera when he took a picture of us as he kissed me on the cheek. He made me blush when he started talking about how I was the most attractive member of the band, but I was really relieved when he left to get pictures and stuff with John.

When I was mostly by myself, I retreated to the safety of the van and ripped open my Reese’s Pieces, pouring some into my mouth straight from the bag. He wrote his Twitter and Tumblr on the bag with a cute personal message to me, too. I pulled out my phone to give him a shoutout on Twitter. “Can I share?” Tay asked, hopping into the van with me.

Swallowing back any rude remarks, I held out the bag to her. “Hey, Chace…guess what John just asked me,” she said after chewing down her mouthful of Reese’s Pieces.

“I don’t wanna know, Tay,” I muttered, folding up the bag and leaving it in the van before walking away from her. I just got up and walked away from her and never went back. There was no hiding that I was jealous. I walked back into the venue to hang with Vinny at the merch table, helping pack things up. I went ahead and bought the stuff I’d wanted, planning to shove it in my suitcase for the rest of the tour before I forgot to buy it.

I was glad to be sitting between Garrett and Kenny on the way to the hotel. I hoped to god John wouldn’t try to hang out with me again tonight. I just felt like such an awkward turtle the other times, just him and me and a big empty hotel room… but not tonight. No, tonight was much worse.

Tonight, they decided we ought to have a pool party.

“Come on, Chace!” Kennedy called my name, already in his swimming trunks. “There’s a hot tub, too, you know!” he said when he saw the discomfort on my face.

“I’m not really up for this…besides, I didn’t pack any swim…stuff,” I managed to say, because I was actually about to say swimsuits. As tempting as the idea of seeing Zack Merrick in swimming trunks was, I was not about to get in a pool with a bunch of guys!

“Just wear some shorts, then, it’s not like the hotel’s gonna kick us out,” John snickered, slipping his shirt off over his head as he made his way out the door with Kenny. Damn him and that attractive back of his.

“You know what? We actually have a lot of laundry to get done, so, yeah, I’m gonna do that instead,” I mumbled, grabbing our garbage bag of dirty clothes and my wallet before running to the laundry room by the hotel’s gym. The gym and pool were on the same floor, but on opposite ends, luckily. I spilled our clothes out, sorting them into piles by color.

When I finished, I stuffed the pile of darks in the washing machine and sat on top of a table, pulling out my iPod to play Word Warp while I waited. I was also listening to some music. I was fine being alone, because I never felt lonely, and you know what they say – if you feel lonely when you’re by yourself, you’re in bad company.

No one was around this late, and maybe that should’ve creeped me out, but I just turned my music up to combat the silence. What creeped me out was whoever hugged me from behind, because they were soaked. I yelped and slid off the table, pushing the stranger’s arms off me.

“What are you doing here, Chace?” John asked, still dripping wet from the pool. His swimming trunks hung low on his hips, revealing the waist band of his boxers. He pushed back his wet bangs and leaned against the table I had been sitting on. “You don’t have to do all that laundry by yourself...”

“I don’t mind,” I muttered, subconsciously backing away from him. The washer finished, so I opened it up and started transferring the clothes to the dryer.

“Didn’t see you after the show tonight,” John remarked as he began to help me with the wet clothes.

“You must’ve been busy, like me,” I said with a shrug, trying not to stare at John’s bare upper body. I allowed myself to ogle through my peripherals, though.

“Not really…nobody kissed me tonight,” John teased, throwing his wet hip into mine.

“Would you cut that out?” I asked sharply, irritated that I was getting literally wet from touching him. I shut the dryer and shoved some quarters in to start it, turning around to go back to the table, but John put his hands on the dryer so his long arms boxed me in. “John, what are you…”

“Not gonna lie, I was insanely jealous when I saw that guy kiss you,” he whispered into my ear, his hand on mine, slowly traveling up my arm. My other hand found its way to his chest, and I was satisfied to hear his breath hitch in his throat. “Were you jealous when you saw me with Tay?”

“John,” I said his name gently, pushing him away when he started to kiss my neck.

“Too much?” John laughed nervously, still keeping his face close to mine.

“I-I can’t do this with you,” I stammered, trying to get away from him.

At this point, I didn’t care that I lost the bet… Right now, I was losing my respect for John. I wanted to continue to look up to him. I wanted him to know what an inspiration he was to me.

…I didn’t want to see him acting like this.

“What? But… But I thought you liked guys,” John stammered back, holding onto my shoulders.

That threw me for a bit. “Wait…are you saying… you like guys?” Are you saying you don't know that I'm a girl?

John sighed and let his hands slide down from my shoulders, running the length of my arms, until he grasped my hands. “I… I actually never have before, but… Chace, I like you, I really do, and I want this with you.”

…I didn’t know how or what to feel at that moment.