Say I'm Sorry

"How are you doing?"

"How do you think I'm doing Darren?" I snapped at the blonde man kneeling in front of me before letting out a sigh, closing my eyes tight. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't worry about it. Really though, he has yet to be back?"

"He came to get some things when I went to work the day after he found out about me and..." I couldn't bring myself to say his name out loud. I didn't want to think of him. I didn't want to ever see him again. I could never see Cory Emmerton again and it would be too soon.

"You know, the guys who heard about what happened, they're pretty much not even acknowledging Cory anymore," Darren pointed out as he took a seat on the coffee table in front of me. "It was shitty for him to do that. I don't think anyone really thinks its your fault, no matter how much you tell yourself it is."

"Darren, it was. It was both our fault. I could have stopped it but I-"

"But you did! Once you realized what was going on, you ended it. We just need to convince Ian to come back so you two can talk it out. Know why?"

"Why?" I asked miserably.

"Because, you two are the couple that everyone is always jealous of. You guys have the perfect relationship. You're each others best friends and you're so in love, you guys can't let something like this get in the middle of that. I've never seen him so happy than when you two are together. You guys are going to work it out, you both just have to believe it and be completely open about it."

"Darren, I haven't seen him in a week. He's not going to want to talk to-" I was cut off by the sound of the front door opening. Darren and I both turned to watch Ian walk in slowly, the door closing behind him with an audible click.

"I uh, I'm gunna go. I'm going to meet Amy for coffee," Darren rambled as I grabbed his arm in a feeble attempt at keeping him with me for moral support. He pulled his arm from my grasp before kissing the top of my head. "You'll be fine," He whispered before making his way out the door, nodding to Ian as he made his way past him.

I ran my hand through my hair, afraid to look up at Ian. I was terrified the whole week he was gone. I wasn't sure what would become of us, of our relationship. And now that he was here, I was even more terrified than I had ever been. He still looked hurt, but even more worn out now. He let out a deep sigh before taking a seat next to me, the space between us on the couch hurting.

"So... What happened?" He asked quietly, glancing up at me with sad eyes that made my heart break.

"Ian, it was nothing. It meant nothing, I promise," I started and he held up a hand.

"What happened?"

"He called me to pick him up because Kim broke up with him after he went home drunk. I was half asleep by the time we were in the elevator and it just...I don't know, it just happened."

"You used to have feelings for him though... I know, I saw the way you used to look at him..."

"Yes, I did. I'm not going to deny that, because it's true. But all that kiss did was make me realize everything I had ever wanted with him, is everything I have with you. I could never replace what we have Ian. I don't care if it's Cory or Brad Pitt, nothing is going to ever be as good as what we had...have..." I stumbled over my words before stopping completely, focusing on the threads sticking out of the hole in my jeans.

"You didn't feel anything then?"

"I'm not going to lie to you Ian, I did. But it's not worth it. Losing what I have with you, I can't bear the thought of that. I just.. You mean too much to me. You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me...I can't lose you," I said as I felt warm tears slip down my face. I closed my eyes, trying to will the tears away when I felt Ian's warm hand on my face, his tumb brushing the tears away.

"Look at me," He said quietly, tilting my chin up so our eyes would meet. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it after a second. After seeming to regain his composure, he tried again. "Hearing what happened the way I did, that's what hurt the most. Why didn't you just tell me in the first place?" At this, tears welled in my eyes again, temporarily blurring my vision yet again.

"Because I didn't want this to happen," I cried, my lip quivering as the tears threatened to spill again.

"Don't cry," He whispered, watching me intently. "Baby girl, please don't cry."

"I can't not cry Ian. Look what happened, what I let happen. I don't deserve you," I mumbled, closing my eyes as I hung my head.

"Don't ever say that Emily. I don't care about what happened, I just don't want to lose you. Especially not to Cory," He added on at the end and I heard the smirk in his voice. Glancing up, I was relieved to see the playful expression on his face.

"Ian..."

"Can we just forget it happened?"

"You know I can't just forget it happened. Cory.."

"Cory doesn't matter. You said it yourself. I understand what it's like not being over someone, but if we can't work this out, you'll be that someone I'll never get over. Ever." I felt tears welling up in my eyes, yet again, as he spoke. The look on his face told me what he was saying was completely heartfelt. "I'm honestly willing to forget it, to move on. That's what we have to do."

"I'm so sorry Ian," I whispered, biting my lip to keep it from quivering.

"I know. Don't let this ruin what we have baby, please."

"I won't," I said, trying to convince both Ian and myself that we could actually get past this.

"Good. Now prove it to me."