My Life in Ashes

First period went by rather quickly. It was English11 and the class was discussing Hawthorne’s style of writing and comparing it to Poe’s writings. While Callie understood it very well, she still asked Kyle for help. She used reverse psychology on him so she was secretly giving him the answers and not the other way around. He felt like he was smart, and that put him in a good mood, which worked in Callie’s favor. The bell rang just as he was “explaining” Poe’s gothic writing to her. She stood up quickly, grabbed his hand, and sweetly dragged him out of the classroom with an innocent smile upon her face.

Callie’s next class with Aliyx and she was anxious to get there. Aliyx was the only person in the school – in the world, actually – who understood Callie. She was almost just like her, aside from the fact that she was in love and nobody was abusing her. Other than that, they were quite similar. They had the same style, loved the same music, ate at the same restaurants, and watched the same movies. They loved each other like sisters, having normal arguments then apologizing to one another ten minutes later. They talked about everything with each other. There was only one secret in their friendship. Callie could never tell Aliyx about Kyle’s anger. Aliyx would flip out and tell the police and my brother and anyone else who she thought could get rid of him. But Callie knew that nothing would make him go away. Not people or beasts or any threats that she could ever make to him. She was stuck forever. And she didn’t want Aliyx having to worry about that.

When she got to Chemistry, Callie walked straight over to her best friend. Aliyx was talking April McCoy, to the school’s “queen bee” about the prom. While most high schools had theirs around February, we had ours during the last week of May. That enabled us to have our after-prom outside. Every year after prom, kids went to the waterfall about three miles out of town and into the woods. The sluts would take their dresses off and get in the water in their bra and panties while the smart girls brought along their bathing suits. Of course, the guys just went free in their boxers. There would be a hell of a lot of making out, people fucking in the woods or in their cars, and beer and drugs. Callie went for the view and the photo opportunities. Kyle went to get drunk and high and flirt with other chicks while having an excuse.

As she thought about after-prom, she thought about what her mother had said when she was younger. “Listen, Callie. A drunken tongue is an honest tongue. You want the truth? Get the man drunk and throw him in a crowd of girls. That’ll show his honest feelings about you.” Callie supposed that Kyle must not love her. She didn’t even have to throw him into the crowd of girls. He fell in all by himself.

“Callie, sweetheart, you okay?” Aliyx was shaking her slightly and, at the same time, shaking her out of her daydream.

“Yea, I’m fine,” she smiled. “Just thinking about photo class I guess.” That wasn’t a complete lie. She had to turn her project in on Monday and she was nervous. She knew she was a good photographer, but she always had to doubt herself. It’s how she grew up. She was about to join in on the prom conversation when Mr. Fatilen walked into the classroom.

“Alright class. Take a seat and we’ll begin discussing next Tuesday’s test. That means you too, April. You and Aliyx can talk later.” Aliyx took her seat next to Callie and stared up at Mr. Fatilen with stars in her eyes. Actually, all of the girls in class looked up at him with stars in their eyes. Even Callie. He was a good looking guy and he was only 23 years old. He was ridiculously sweet, too. Callie wasn’t having sex dreams about him or wishing he would sweep her off her feet or anything. That’s what other silly girls did. Callie was a rational girl, and she just liked to look.

Chemistry passed almost as quickly as the notes that were passed between Callie and Aliyx. The note started with Aliyx asking Callie about her weekend. It soon got down to how wonderful Callie’s relationship was and how much Aliyx wishing she could have something so amazing. Everyone wanted something amazing and long term. All Callie wanted was some freedom and to be less tied down. She knew what it was like to be in a long term relationship but she wouldn’t admit to Aliyx that it was complete shit and it just weighed you down. After all, that’s only one girl’s opinion. And she was surely a special case anyhow.

Callie would never want to ruin someone’s view on love just because hers was ruined for eternity. She knew that everyone’s love lives were different and she strongly accepted that. She hoped more than anything that Aliyx and every other girl in the room would have a better relationship than she had. She also hoped that if Aliyx did get into a relationship as bad as her own, she would tell her. Which wasn’t an entirely fair expectation, seeing as she wasn’t willing to tell Aliyx what her relationship was like. But one can still hope.

On the way out of the room, Mr. Fatilen reminded the girls that the only notes in his class were to be Chemistry notes. Though he was just teasing, Aliyx turned scarlet red and bowed her head. “I’ll remember that, sir,” she mumbled. Callie nudged her forward with my elbow and giggled. Just as she let the spurt of happiness escape her lips, Kyle was walking up to her. He gave her a questionable look and quickly erased it, replacing it with a smile. He grabbed her hand and dragged her gently down the hall with Aliyx on her other side.

“So you had a good time in Chemistry?” he asked. “You must have. Mr. Fatilen is quite funny and energetic. And don’t forget how much of a charmer he is.” He squeezed Callie’s hand just a little too hard, making her cringe a little, and winked at Aliyx.

“Yea,” began Aliyx with a laugh. “He is quite the charmer. He makes Chemistry worth while, because there is nothing else interesting in that class. Other than you, of course,” she says, beaming at Callie. “I have to head off, but I’ll see you at lunch darling. I love you!” She scuttled off cutely, catching some of the guys eyes. If she only knew how many guys found her stunning and adorable.
“Now, what could have been so interesting about walking out of the classroom? Surely it wasn’t anything Mr. Fatilen said. Or did. I mean, you have more self dignity than to giggle at some good looking school teacher.” Kyle was giving her a sickening glare that told Callie that she better say the right thing, and be fully convincing. All she could think was, But I don’t have enough self dignity to leave you.

“It wasn’t Mr. Fatilen. It was Aliyx.” She was saying all this in a light tone, showing no fear and not hinting that she knew he was angry. “Fatilen told her to stop passing notes and she got all quite and started blushing. She stopped walking and I had to nudge her to get her going. I was only laughing at how bashful she got. If you had seen it, you would have too.”

He just rolled his eyes and continued walking. Callie thought she heard things like, “Stupid girls-“ or “God, he isn’t even cute.” What got her palms hot and sweaty was, “Surely worth a beating.” She became silent, stopped smiling, and crossed her arms. She went through third hour without speaking. When her name was called on, she waved the teacher off and placed her head on the desk. Her stomach was aching and she thought she was going to puke. Not again. Not two days in a row. She didn’t want it any more. She could already feel her muscled begin to ache as she thought about the abuse she would be receiving. Can’t the school day just go on forever? Can’t she just stay here, in public, so nobody could ever touch her?

Despite her desperate wishes, the bell eventually rang for class to be dismissed and she had to make her way to lunch. She didn’t immediately look for Kyle and Aliyx like she usually did and decided that they could find her eventually. She sat down at a back table without getting her tray full of repulsive school food. She was beginning to fall asleep just as Aliyx sat down. She asked Callie a hundred questions about what was wrong and why she hadn’t looked for her like usual and why did Aliyx look like she was part of the living dead.

“No, really, you look like a zombie. You’re pail and clammy and you look sick. Is everything okay? I can drive you home.” Just before Callie could answer, Kyle came up and sat down next to her.

“Hi, where have you been baby?” he asked, sounding sincere. “Oh no, Callie you look absolutely awful. Are you sick? I’ll take you home if I need to. My last half of the day is empty anyway.

Callie knew that was a lie. Kyle was failing two of his classes from the last half of the day, but refused to admit it was his fault. But she went along with what he was saying. “I just have a really bad headache. But I’ll finish out the day. I need to. I have important things in Pre-Calculus and Photography today. I can’t miss that.”

“Nonsense. I’ll call Brendan and ask him to sign you out. Then we’ll go home and I’ll wrap you up in bed and make sure you’re comfortable. You really look like you need it.” With that, Kyle stood up and headed to the exit nearest to the main office. Callie called out a small thanks and gave Aliyx a goodbye hug before walking out of the cafeteria and heading to her locker. Shit. What was she supposed to do now that she was going home with him? Surely Brendan wouldn’t be there. She’d have to be alone with Kyle.

She kept playing different scenarios in her head as she walked down to the office. She came nearer to it and heard Kyle complaining. As he grabbed her hand with a little more force than usually, he roughly walked her out the door. As soon as the school doors shut, He whispered to Callie. “God, you’ve fucked up. Now I’ll really have to do something.”

Shit.