We Can Dance in Death Tonight

"baby, you have to wake up" I whispered, brushing some of his hair back. I kissed his lips gently.

"I don't wanna" he complained, grabbing a hold of me and pulling me closer. I just giggled.

"I don't want you to leave either baby but you have too. there's thousands of kids waiting to see you, you can't let them down. I'll see you in five days, don't worry" I told him. "the guys are going to leave without you"

he started pecking at my lips, trailing them down my neck and to my heart. he opened his eyes all the way and I, as always, got lost in them. I knew he saw me getting upset and I saw him frown.

"hey, no sad faces. come on, it'll go by fast" he nodded, squeezing me one last time and finally getting out of bed. I smiled as I watched him get dressed. I got up, throwing my hair up quickly. he came over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting me up so I could wrap my legs around him.

"I love you baby" he smiled, kissing me passionately. I smiled in the kiss. he let me down and grabbed my hand, bringing me downstairs with him. we joined everyone outside. I saw Abbey and Shay saying goodbye to the boys.

"hi Josh" I smiled, hugging him. I hugged Ricky, Ryan, Devin, Angelo and Allie goodbye. "I'm gonna miss my Allieboo" I frowned.

"awh baby, don't be sad" she joked, hugging me again. "we'll go shopping as soon as I get home!" I nodded. I frowned when I saw Chris.

"bye Chris" I whispered, he pulled me into a hug. "I love you! take care of my boys"

"no problem. take care of my girls. I love you too" he told me. I walked back over to Josh and watched as he said goodbye to Abbey. I hugged him tight.

"I love you too baby" I whispered, kissing him.

I waved to them as the RV drove away. I looked over to Abbey and Shay.

"after all these years, its still so hard to say goodbye to him" Abbey whispered.

"come on, lets get ready and go shopping. we need to find outfits to San Diego!" I told them.

we all ran back inside and went to get ready. after showering, I wrapped the fluffy purple towel around me and dried my hair. I put it up in a pony tail, with a bandana wrapped around my head. I went light on my eyeliner, and went into my room to find something to wear. I heard my phone buzzing, as I ran over to grab it I nearly fell. I unlocked the screen, seeing Josh's name made me smile.

I miss my baby already ): can you come next time?

maybe next tour baby, I miss you too. it's too quiet in this house without you all ):

I found my MIW tank top and put on my black skinny jeans, Josh's doc martens to match. I didn't care that they we're a little too big on me. I grabbed all my shit and went downstairs. Abbey and Shay we're done so we took my car to the mall. we walked around for awhile, buying some things in Victoria's Secret, than finding a dress store. on our way home, we'd stopped at a restaurant to eat.

"Abbey, do you ever have a small voice in the back of your head that says Chris would cheat on you?" I mumbled.

"the first tour he went on that we were together, its all I thought about. now I know how he is on tour because I went out with them two tours ago. now the voice in my heads just telling me not to be that crazy wife that has to talk to him every five seconds" she giggled. "Josh wouldn't cheat on you honey, it'll be okay"

"well we had this huge fight the other night at his apartment. Mary had come by the house and acting as if her car broke down, so I told her she could use our phone. I had no idea who she was! and he came home and freaked the fuck out, and I didn't understand. he stormed out. a few days later we were at his apartment and I asked why he was still there, we'd already agreed that he'd move in with us since he was always there. while he was in the room, his phone went off and he asked me to get it. and it was Mary. they'd been talking for days and flirting and she was talking about going out for dinner and he agreed. we got into this huge fight. I'd began to cry so I went to Ryan's to talk to Ang. that's why he wasn't at the house until last night"

"that bitch!" Abbey yelled.

when we got home, I started to pack everything for our flight in two days. we were spending time with the A7X guys, than going down the night before my show to meet up with the guys in San Diego. they were playing at 1, Tyler at 3 and than we were going to my show. I grabbed my phone and called Josh.

"hi baby!" I heard his smile "I got so happy when I heard your ringtone" he was so cute. he put my ringtone as Wait For You by Atreyu for whenever I called him. it was his ringtone for when he called me too. we were so dumb

"hows everything" I asked. I laid in my bed, wearing his sweatshirt. I missed his smell.

"alright, we're somewhere in the mid-west. we should be at the first city late tomorrow night. what are you up too beautiful?"

"I started packing, but now I'm laying in bed, by myself" I frowned.

"I miss your snores" he giggled.

"I do not snore!" I told him, he laughed. "alright baby, its getting late. I'll talk to you tomorrow, goodnight baby, I love you!"

"sweet dreams babygirl. I love you with all of my heart" I heard the sadness in his voice that he wasn't next to me.

these next few weeks were going to be the worst nights of sleep ever.