We Can Dance in Death Tonight

TJ pulled up infront of an liquor store. I followed him inside, not caring about my appearance at the moment. I grabbed a bottle of Jack and some Coke, throwing money on the counter and following TJ out. he just brought a six pack of beer. we went back to his hotel room and I changed into a pair of his shorts and my tank top. I pour some jack and coke into one of the cups.

"Sam, what are you doing?" he asked, staring at me. I looked at him like he had four heads.

"drinks TJ" I simply implied. I chugged the whole glass and poured another.

-Abbey-
my phone went off and I grabbed it quickly, hoping it would be Sam. I saw it was TJ.

has Sam ever broke edge before? he asked.

never, why? I looked over to Shay.

"what's wrong?" she asked. Balz looked at me.

"TJ just asked if Sam has ever broken edge before" I mumbled. once my phone rang, I quickly opened the message.

well she is now. I can't get her to stop drinking Jack and Coke

"she broke edge. she's drinking Jack Daniels" I mumbled, I stared at Balz.

"in all her past relationships, she has never broken edge because someone's cheated on her" Shay seethed threw her teeth, staring at him. "edge was the best thing to happen to her"

"did she love those guys as much as she loved Balz though?" I asked, her, she shook her head no.

try and take the bottle away from her. she's never broken edge before. stop her TJ. she'll be ruined if she remembers this

"you guys have to help me fix this. please? I love her so fucking much. I can't believe I did that. I actually want to break edge. I miss her so much. I fucked up so bad" he cried.

Chris, Ricky and Ryan walked into the back. Balz looked up and they saw him crying. they'd never seen him cry before. Angelo came up behind them.

"we need to fix this" he mumbled, we all agreed.

"you'll be lucky if she takes you back. she doesn't do second chances Josh. if she gives you another chance, and you fuck it up, I swear I'm not stopping anyone from kicking your ass. this doesn't leave our bus, if my brother or any of the guys on this tour find out, you will NOT have a keyboardist" Shay told us, everyone swore to keep their mouths shut.

-Sam-

"alright Sam, that's enough. you can't break edge" he told me, trying to take away the bottle.

"no. just let me have this. please. you don't understand. we were going to get married, I wanted to have a baby boy, in years to come. I love him with my everything, all I want to do is make him happy, give him something to come home too every night, and obviously I wasn't good enough for him. do you know how much that tears me apart inside? to know I wasn't good enough for the guy I'd kill the world for? it feels like I've had a dagger shoved into my heart" I told him. I started crying again.

I stopped drinking Jack and Coke and just went straight to the Jack.

"you can't go back to the house. he'll know you're there. stay at Kally's. its about twenty minutes away from the house, she lives with the old bass player, before Ricky. I don't know if you met him, Frank" he told me. I remembered Frank from some of the BBQ's we've had, and the videos on youtube. "the guys don't know where it's out"

"are you sure? Kally won't be mad?" I asked.

"we'll talk to her about it tomorrow when we go back to LA. I'm sure she won't care, and Frank won't either" he took away the bottle that was almost empty. "go to bed Sammy" he leaned down and kissed my forehead "I love you. I'm so sorry"

he turned the lights off and I instantly passed out.

I woke up to TJ talking on the phone.

"yeah, she drank most of the bottle. no Ab, she's still asleep. I don't know what she's going to do. Abbey, I don't know. I'm sorry, yeah I'll call him later. alright, I love you too, bye" he whispered. I opened my eyes as he turned around. "how's your head?"

"it fucking hurts" I mumbled. "what'd Abbey want?"

"she wanted to know where you were going, but I lied and told her I have no idea" he smiled at me. "your secrets safe with me. come on, get up, shower and ready. I want to leave soon"

I quickly showered and got dressed, attempting to make myself presentable. I put my bags into his car as he signed out of the hotel. the drive back to LA was pretty silent. Kally was happy to see me. after TJ explained everything, she insisted I stayed in her room at the apartment. she called Frank and told him everything.

"when do the girls go back?" TJ asked.

"they fly back tomorrow night" I told him. "I'm going to fly home tonight and get all my stuff together and bring it over before they get home, thank you Kally, so much!"

"its no problem honey, I'm so sorry about everything" she hugged me. she was starting to get a little big. "oh, he just kicked. I guess he's excited to meet his auntie Sammy" she smiled. I teared a little.

"hey Sam, will you be the godmother?" TJ asked, I cried.

"oh my, oh my god yes!" I smiled, hugging them both.

"I know you hate him, but Craig's the godfather" he mumbled, I just shrugged.

"you're not asking me this because I'm a complete mess are you?" I joked.

"no, we've been talking about this since we found out. you've helped TJ so much" she smiled at me.

"will you drive me to the airport?" I asked him, he nodded. I said goodbye to Kally and my godson and we left.

when we got to the airport, I sad my sad goodbye to TJ and went to the ticket counter, getting on a plane leaving for Scranton in an hour. Once I landed in PA, I took the car and drove home. I called Frank and told him I'd be over early tomorrow morning. I started packing things up. I cried threw most of it.

I wouldn't lay in this bed with him anymore. take showers with him, giggle when he does something sudden, see that evil smirk I loved, sleep in his arms, kiss him all the time, have him lift me up. than I began to think about how I wont see Abbey and Shay everyday when I woke up, or play around in the studio with Chris and Angelo. Wrestle with Ryan or draw out tattoos and play with Allie's cats. have my daily cigarette talks with Ricky, or torture Devin since he was the new guy.

after packing mostly everything up, I showered and dried my hair. I put on PJ's and laid in my bed. I took out my phone and dialed one of my favorite numbers.

"hey Ronnie, where are you?" I asked.

-Balz-
I talked to the guys all day, and even though they were all really pissed at me, they agreed to help me. I laid in my bunk, watching all of her youtube videos. I pulled up instagram to take a picture of it when I saw her picture, one she uploaded only five minutes ago. it was her in our bed, with the caption its so lonely and cold without you here, fuck you under it.

I missed her so fucking much.