The Wind Blows

***ATTENTION: PLEASE READ AUTHOR'S NOTE***

He took another long drag from the white stick that was settled between his thin lips, letting the white smoke fill his lungs, before he pulled the stick from his mouth, and slowly released the toxic cloud into the fresh salt air. He stood on the small balcony, outside their hotel room, with one hand grasping the steel railing, as he squinted his eyes to scan the surface of the crowded San Diego beaches.

The warmth of her body was giving her away, as he felt the softness of her fingertips trail across his bare chest from behind, and her pink lips press a kiss into the spine of his back, as she whispered, "I'm ready. Are you coming?," against his freckled sun kissed skin. His mouth was pulled into a smile, feeling the warmth of her cheek fall flat across his back, as she hugged his lanky body against hers just a little tighter.

He dismissed the ashes of his cigarette in a nearby ashtray that sat atop the surface of a piece of crummy lawn furniture, before he turned to her, and tugged her small hips forward with the palms of his hands - gripping at her waist, and pulling her till her hip bones met his thin ones.

His head hung low, and his mouth was smiling like a fool at this point, as he buried his face deep into the sweet smelling skin, along the bend of her neck. He took a deep breath in, letting his lungs fill with the mix of fresh salt air, and daisy coated scent of her porcelain skin. He blinked a few times - his long lashes brushing across her bare shoulder, as he grazed his grinning lips along her extended collarbone, and mumbled lazy words into her flesh.

"John-n?" She groaned like a frustrated child, as she began pressing the flat of her palms against his bare chest - trying to escape his relentless lips, that were running trails across the peak of her shoulder.

"What's wrong?" He peeled his mouth from her pink flesh, and pushed a kiss into her messy brown hair, while still rubbing endless circles into the dimples of her lower back.

"I want to go to the beach, and you promised me that we'd go today. It's our last day - and we won't get there if you keep kissing me like this -"

She let out a heavy sigh from her lungs, and gave a slight shrug of her shoulders, like she didn't want to push the issue to its breaking point. The warm California breeze never felt so stifling, making it harder to take a breath with such a heavy heart. Everything felt heavier there, and nothing made it easier to breath at this point. They were hundreds of miles aways from home, and one week into their trip, that they hadn't intended to last more than a day or two. Nothing was easy at this point, and nothing would become easier when they were welcomed home with disappointed friends and angered enemies. It would be like walking into a war zone that neither one was prepared to fight their way through.

**

"John!"

The sound of her screams boomed an echo down the beach. He ignored the shrills escaping past her soft lips, as he wrapped his long arms around her waist, and lifted her feet from the muddled sand that sunk beneath their toes.

He laughed at the way she pushed, and pulled against him until she'd manage to break free of his hold, before she was quickly caught back up in his embrace, and pulled once more into the crater of his warm chest. He tautly pinched at her hips, with the tips of his calloused fingers, while she squirmed helplessly as he hugged her body closer, and laughed against the hollow part of her ear, with his thin lips pressed firmly into her flushed skin.

"Don't you ever listen to me when I say stop?" She muttered through the smile that was languidly tugging upward on her mouth. She nudged her nose into his own, and inhaled the weight of his heavy breath that was slowly pouring through the part of his lips.

His raspy laugh was nothing but a muffled sound - pressed into her slightly damp skin. He could taste the salt on her flesh, with his warm mouth partially gaped, and his face buried somewhere deep within the crevice of her slightly angled neck. He tickled her soft skin with his words, and his hands made their presence well known, as he carefully skimmed them across the small beads of salty water that lazily lingered along her smooth back, "Shouldn't you know by now that I never listen to you?"

She smiled, "You'd think I would, but I guess that's what I get for never paying attention to anything you say."

He laughed a little more at her playfully sarcastic tone, and lifted her hips upward with the palms of his hands - pulling her feet from the salty sea water that they stood knee deep in, and allowing her legs to wrap in a circle around his thin hips.

There was something about the way her dainty fingertips threaded delicately through his dirty unkept hair, and rubbed soft circles into his scalp, while her arms hung loosely around his neck - and the way her pink lips pushed flush into the sweet addictive taste of his own without much hesitation, and without much thought, making his heart ache, and flutter in a bundle of nerves inside his chest.

The strange feeling that was lingering in the pit of his gut dissolved into a wave of nothing, as he sunk into the soothing pressure of her taunt fingertips, and leaned a little further into the supple lips that were bearing drawn-out kisses into the subtle stubble along his chin - inching up the right side of his extended jawline that led a trail all the way up to his ear so achingly slow.

And that's when she whispered sweetly, "Can I tell you a secret?", so tacitly into his eardrum - playfully grazing the base of her teeth along his earlobe, as his bones shivered beneath the warmth of her damp icy skin.

She took a deep breath, and laid her forehead into his - their noses touching, and the shape of their lips close enough to feel the temped breaths that escaped through their mouths. Her skin sunk a little further and settled a little deeper into his, as her fingers drew subtle shapes into the nape of his neck.

"You can tell me anything," he managed to choke out, inhaling a sharp breath through his teeth, while breathing in the thick air that was coming from her lips, and his long fingers dug a little deeper into her porcelain skin to grip her upper thighs just a little tighter.

And then she said it, the only words that could ever make his heart ache with both joy, and pain in the most beautiful way possible - and God was it beautiful - and God was everything about her so damn beautiful. Words that made his mind spin, and his knees grow weak, as she spoke them softly into the wind before they struck his ear like a thousand ton bricks,

"I think I'm falling in love with you..."

***

"She's gone - she - she's gone Ken..she's gone," was all she could choke out through the storm of tears that were burning canals into her skin.

Her voice shook violently and she was a walking disaster if he'd ever seen one. Beads of tears were staining her red cheeks, and spilling out like a waterfall over the canvas of her face, as she desperately clutched onto the threads of his t-shirt like he just might leave her too.

He stood in the doorway of his own apartment, confused and unsure why the girl he hadn't spoken to, or heard from in weeks had suddenly shown up on his doorstep with a look of pure fear, and distress, trembling like a child who had lost all reason to carry on, without a hand to hold, and a shoulder to cry on.

"She's gone - she left.. and she - she's not coming back," she cried out in anger and frustration, shaking her head violently, and beating her tiny fist against the wall of his chest.

Her heart was beating like an angry drum through her ears, and her lungs felt like they were on the verge of collapsing at any moment, as her body fell into his, and he pulled her through the doorway and into the shadowed covered walls of his apartment.

His arms cradled her closely, holding her tight - afraid to move and afraid to let go.

"She's not coming back," she mumbled once more into his damp t-shirt, hiccuping through her own tears, and blinking to clear her blurry line of vision. The small room fell silent as they stood tightly holding each other in the mere darkness, and he felt the shiver of her body shake vigorously against his own.

He brushed the length of his fingers through the soft waves of her hair, and pressed his lips to the top of her head, making his own body ache for so much more. He hated himself for more than one reason, but mostly for not loving her properly when he was given the chance.

Their bodies grew etched together as she cried and weeped for hours on end, till the room fell into an eerie silence, and her eyes grew red and scratchy in return. And by the time the tears had grown dry against her face, their limbs had become physically weak and emotionally exhausted from the sadness that had rushed like a hurricane straight through their hearts and veins.

The look in his eyes let her know that it was okay, as he tugged on her hand, and began leading her towards the bedroom. She never stopped to question him, and for whatever reason she'd never planned on it. He took his time - one foot in front of the other - down the dark hallway and to the left, she trekked along behind him every step of the way.

And when they reached the irridescent sun lit room, her palm fell loose from his when her swollen eyes met sight of the bed, and he watched her crawl beneath the thin sheets of its disheveled surface. The late afternoon sun was an orange ball in the velvet sky outside, lighting his bedroom walls up with its burnt hue. She watched him trek over to the nearby window and close the shades, only to leave them in a sea of blackness.

It was dark and all she could make out was his silhouette from the sparse amount of light that was provided from the hallway, as he made his way across the room, and towards the open door nearby.

She could hear his feet shuffling against the carpet, and his body taking a deep breath, before slowly releasing it into the thick air around them. He hesitated for a moment, nervously running his fingers through the shaggy ends of his hair, before he crawled up next to her. She could feel the sinking of the mattress, and heat of his body burning itself deep into her own.

"I don't know what to do," he whispered softly and honestly into her ear, with his arm lazily draping itself over her waist to pull her back deeper into the crater of his chest.

"Me neither," she mumbled through her teeth, and closed her eyes as tight as she could, hoping and praying that maybe if she closed them tight enough all her problems would dissolve into a million circles around her.


***

There was something about the way she looked - the way her hair was a beautiful mess splayed across the wrinkled pillowcase - her lips swollen pink, and her body still trying to catch up with her lungs while they ached for some source of fresh air. The orange evening sun poured a rainbow of colors through the transparent glass - striking her velvet skin, and showing off the sweat that was coating its surface from across the bed. There was something about the way her moss painted eyes were staring aimlessly up into the slightly cracked ceiling above, and the way her body shivered faintly from the chills that would run through her bones every time the air condition would stroll through the vents.

It had been silent for a good fifteen minutes. But it was a comfortable silence - the kind you use to gather your thoughts, or the kind that makes your mind sink into something that seems so surreal. No one had spoken, and no one had moved up until this point.

He crept a little closer to where she lay - crawling through the piles of sheets, as he made his way over till his body was carefully hovering over hers, and her hazy vision caught sight of his own soft gaze that peered down into her flushed complexion.

"Hey," he whispered softly, and lightly pressed a gentle kiss into the warmth of her rosy cheekbone, "You okay?"

"Yeah," she smiled up at him, trying to regain her composure from her dizzy spinning thoughts, "I just needed a breather."

He laughed lightly into the warmth of her sultry skin - muffling the raspy sound of his voice, by letting his mouth linger along the length of her neck, "You should've told me, and we could've slowed things down."

She rolled her eyes doubtingly at his overly confident words, "You and I both know that never would've happened."

The vibrations of his beautiful laugh was exerting a force against her neck, sending an electric shiver through her raw skin and down the length of her spine, as he slyly grazed his hand down her thin hips - allowing it to descend to the backside of her thigh, before giving it a light squeeze with the rough tips of his fingers.

"Jesus Christ John," she grunted in pure frustration, squirming anxiously beneath his weight and against the crumpled sheets below them, "don't you ever get tired?"

She could feel his lazy crooked grin etching itself into the trail of kisses that were being permanately planted along her protruding collarbone, and up along the length of her throat, till his lips eventually found their way back to her own.

"Wouldn't you rather make love, than sleep," he taunted playfully - his kiss swollen lips purposely brushed against the pouty shape of her mouth with each word he carelessly mumbled from his tongue. The way his voice became a deep raspy hum that laced with his words was driving her crazy at this point, as she eagerly knotted the tips of her delicate fingers through the threads of his dirty sandy locks.

"You're nothing but a tease," she muttered between deep breaths and tightly clenched teeth, as her fingertips clawed achingly slow from the top of his head to the base of his neck, where they burned small shapes into his pink skin.

The lids of his eyes became heavy in weight, as he relaxed into the soothing strokes of her dainty fingers, causing a throaty moan to rumble up his chest and press pass his parted lips when her thin hips made a gyrated motion upward into the depths of his.

"I think you've got the tease labeled all wrong darlin'," he groaned helplessly in an almost sexually frustrated ache, and caught the way she was laughing lightly under her breath as she lay beneath him.

He gave another tight squeeze to her backside - nails digging crescent moon shapes into her flesh, as he pushed his lips once more into the sweet addictive taste of her mouth, feeling her body jolt with an electric shock from his slightly bold behavior.

He was smirking mischievously from ear to ear when his body declined from hers, and drifted down into the bundle of blankets that were laying along the edge of her frame. He relaxed the weight of his head against the ball of his fist, as his elbow sunk further into the pillow's surface, and he watched the base of his other palm fall across the satin skin of her tight stomach.

She turned her head, and gazed up at him, noticing the way his green eyes diligently watched his own ridged fingertip run laps around her bellybutton in a lazy motion.

"So you kind of love me, huh?"

She could tell by the tone of his voice, and the grave demeanor of his face that he wasn't playing anymore.

She swallowed hard, "Do you love me?"

Her eyes didn't fall from his till the words left her kiss swollen lips, and with the turn of her head she was left gazing back up at the dimly lit ceiling above. She waited and waited for a response. For some form of yes to graciously hit her listening ear. But it never came, and all of a sudden her happiness never felt so lonely.

"Listen Dani," he rustled around in the sheets next to her, and with the simple turn of her head, her sad green orbs were back on him, just in time to watch his long fingers ruffle through the ends of his tangled hair as he sat up with a slight frown pulling on the ends of his lips.

"Um, you know what never - never mind," she fiddled with the thin bed sheets feeling nothing more than pathetic in that moment. She hurried to escape, quickly snatching one of his old Tom Petty t-shirts from the edge of the bed, before hastily pulling it over her head, and managing to stand on her shaky limbs, "I'm sorry, I - I shouldn't have asked - it was a stupid question - I'm sorry-"

He scrambled with a pair of old basketball shorts as he struggled to reach the other side of the small room where she was standing, cradling herself with her arms wrapped around her small body.

"Dani - please let me explain -" He reached out to touch her arm, and with the simple touch she took two steps back, merely flinching from the subtle contact that broke as quickly as it began.

"No - no, it was stupid, right? I mean, you shouldn't have to explain," she waved her hands, and shook her head violently, like she was trying to push all of the ugly thoughts that were rushing to the frontside of her brain away, "I mean why would you? You - you love her not me. You've always loved her, and it was selfish of me to think you'd ever stop, just because she's - she's dead, right? I mean fuck - I'm her sister, and what we're doing is anything but right," she choked out through a flood of tears, "I - I'm so sorry."

Her face was stained with a puddle of wet tears, and her voice was muddled in it's own words by the time she finally managed to walk away from him, and straight into the bathroom nearby. She shut the door, and stood for a moment with her forehead pressed into it's grainy surface and body shaking from the shortness of breath that was causing her to choke on her own sobs. She suddenly felt embarrassed and shameful.

And after a few moments of halfway calming her nerves and swallowing the lump in her throat, she was able to pull herself together long enough to turn the shower on, and shed his dingy shirt from the surface of her skin, leaving her bare and exposed. She was determined to wash every part of him off of her - to scrub her skin till it became pink and raw and there was no more of him left on her body.

And when the water became searing hot, and the small room became filled to the brim with thick steam, she stepped beneath the shower head and pulled the curtain tightly closed behind her. She stood there for a few moments, letting the water strike her body, and wash away the kisses he'd left on her dirty skin.

Her tears were beginning to blend in with the warm water as it ran over her face and down her neck. She skimmed her fingers through her hair, and tried to hold back another wave of sobs that made her want to scream from the inside, out. Her chest was so heavy at this point that she was having a hard time finding the strength to take a breath.

The sound of the shower curtain rustling from behind caused her body to turn numb from the inside, out, and all she could remember was that she'd forgotten to turn the lock on the door, and now he was close enough for her to sense him. She couldn't see him, she could only feel him sliding the base of his hand against the smooth skin along her waist, before running it around to her stomach from behind. And she refused to acknowledge any part of him - at least not just yet.

She was frozen and couldn't budge, making no attempt to make a sound, other than the small sobs that still slipped past her tongue every now and then. The heat of his body was etched into hers, and she could feel her bones freeze when his lips hit her skin, and melted into the water along the peak of her shoulder.

"Please don't cry," he mumbled lazily into her soft flesh, "I do love you - so much," he whispered quietly with his lips pinned up against the hollow part of her ear, making sure she heard every word he clearly spoke, "and if it's possible - I think I love you more ...I think that's what scares me most."

She shivered violently as a chill ran down her spine, and his warm breath casted a fire across the length of her neck. By now her back was molded, and melted into the wall of his chest, as his long lanky arms cradled her shaky bones carefully within his embrace. With the beating of her heart, and the racing of her pulse she was sure he could feel the vibrations of her body rattling against his own.

"Why are you so scared? Why can't you say it - why is it so hard for you to say you love me?"

Her voice was low and soft, with her quivering lips speaking in such a hushed tone that her words nearly missed his ears from behind. All she wanted was the truth - the truth about everything that made him so damn afraid to fall, that he only resulted in slowly pushing her away.

And when she managed to turn around on her shaky limbs, she was forced to look up into his line of vision. The way he looked was enough to place a pain within her heart, and suddenly she was wishing she hadn't asked him at all. He looked so sad - and careless, as he stood there with his sandy hair wet and a mess - sticking to the skin around his haggard face, while the ends of his lips were drawn downward in a puddle of unforgettable sorrow.

His dark eyes had drifted south, to the bottom of the shower and towards their feet, as his head hung low and his whole body stood slightly hunched over in a pool of grief.

"Because," he began, taking in a deep breath, as his bitter gaze met her in a unsettling stare, "what's the point when everything I ever love, I eventually lose. That's how it's always been, and that's all I've ever known... Don't you think that's enough to never wanna love again?"

It was blunt, and in every way relatable to the way she'd felt her whole life. She knew better than anyone what it was like to love and then lose - and the way it could drag you down from a high, and pull you straight into the deepest depths of hell.

Her eyes continued to peer up at him - watching the way his eyes did their best to avoid her heavy stare. The shuffle of her feet brought her in closer, and she reached down to his side, and took hold of his large hand with the frame of her small one. She held it for a moment, studying the way it wrapped around her own like a shield of protection, before bringing the base of his palm up to her chest - placing it where her heart was pounding like a steady drum for only him to feel.

"Do you feel that?" Her hand lay on top of his, pressing it further into her skin, as if to leave an imprint of it into her flesh.

He nodded his head.

"As long as it's beating, you have my word that I'll do everything I can to make you happy. - I don't care about what our friends are going to say, or what people are going to think when we get back home - they can say what they want, but they don't know the truth like you and I do," she blinked a few times, clearing the water that was washing over her lashes and down her face, "they don't know how much I love you - and how much you make me happy."

She gave his hand a slight squeeze before removing it from the rise and fall of her chest. She folded his fingers to make a small fist and pressed her lips against their surface. Her tired eyes were peering up into his, begging him to understand that if he were to give up, she would be following close behind.

"I wish you wouldn't give up so easily."

He looked at her with heavy green eyes, as he leaned in and reached out to pull her body flush against his. His long lanky arms engulfed her small frame - cradling her closely against his skin - and all he wanted to do was make her happy. The weight of her head had fallen into his chest, and she could feel the impression of his lips push into the top of her head, leaving a small trail down to the peak of her shoulder.

"I swear - I promise I won't give up," he assured her while grazing light strokes along the dimples of her back, and his gentle lips pressed deep into her wet skin - the taste sweet to his mouth, and smooth to his tongue, "I love you too much."

She closed her dry scratchy eyes, and listened to the sound of his breathing, and the beating of his heart, "Do you think things will ever get better?"

In all honesty he wasn't sure, but he knew he couldn't say, no. And with one last heavy sigh racking through his body, along with the rise and fall of his shoulders he knew he had to give her an answer either way.

"I don't know baby," he kissed the top of her head once more,"we've still got a long road ahead - and honestly I never thought I'd make it this far."