Not Good Enough For You
Chapter 7
Rayne's point of view:
After spending two weeks of healing and apparently putting on weight, I was finally allowed to come home from hospital. I wouldn't have been allowed out if it wasn't for Aaron, because he told me that to get out, I must eat to gain weight. Also, throughout that amount of time, the love between Aaron and myself blossumed even more. Every night he would visit me, sitting with me for hours, holding me and kissing me, praying that I would get better soon.
"I'm so pleased that you were allowed out, I know you didn't like it there" Aaron said, as he held me in his lap and played with my hair.
"Same" I replied, as I leaned my head against his chest and closed my eyes.
I felt him kiss my forehead and then stroak my cheek.
"I know I've said this time and time again" Aaron said, with his oh so sexy voice. "But you are just so goregeous."
"Not as gorgeous as you" I giggled.
I heard Aaron laugh slightly, before his arms got tighter around my body.
Aaron's point of view:
I looked down at my little angel as I held him. Rayne's never been the same since he fainted that day. Why would such a beautiful boy want to starve himself? As I've heard, his mum was devastated last year when Rayne's dad died, she can't afford to lose him as well.
I was distracted from my thoughts when I felt Rayne shuffle a bit in my lap, getting more comfortable.
"Are you tired?" I asked.
"Mmmh" he mumbled. "I'm gonna take a nap."
"Okay baby" I said, positioning us both so that he was lying a little flatter.
Rayne sighed contently, and I brushed some hair away from his face.
I could feel his bones, even through his clothes. I noticed how his studded belt was at its tightest to hold up his red skinny jeans, and his My Chemical Romance hoodie practically hung off his body. I knew he was still underweight.
Rayne's point of view:
A few days later, I sat at the dining table with Destiny and my mum. Curry was for dinner, and I only tended to have small portions of food.
"Are you going to eat your dinner tonight?" Mum asked. "You don't have to eat all of it."
I stared awkwardly at the plate of food in front of me, before taking a few bites of the chicken, and then a few spoonfuls of rice. The food tasted quite nice, so I decided to slowly eat some more of it.
"I'm very pleased to see that you have eaten all of it" my mum said, as she smiled happily, once I had finished.
"Would you like anymore?" Destiny asked.
"No thanks, I'm full" I replied.
Once excused from the table, I went upstairs to my room.
I lay on the bed, holding my full stomach. It felt really strange to actually have something inside of me for a change, it almost made me feel sick.
I examined the posters of my favourite bands, that were all over the walls. The band members all seemed to look perfect - most of them were thin. That was the main point which I picked out, and I wished that I could be just like them.
I got up off the bed and starred at my reflection in the familiar mirror. I attempted to strike a few poses, just like the people on the posters.
"Maybe I should join a band one day" I told myself. "Afterall, I can sing and play guitar."
I sighed, looking over at my shiny, black electric guitar, that was in one corner of the room. Next thing I knew, I had picked it up, plugged it into the amp, and my fingers were plucking at the strings. I found myself playing "Knives and Pens" by Black Veil Brides, who were my favourite band. Once I had done the introduction, I began to sing:
"Alone at last, we sit and fight. And I've lost all faith in this blurring light..."
When I had finished the song, I returned to the mirror.
I lifted up my t-shirt, and ran my hands over my stomach, I'm still not skinny enough, I'd make a fool of myself on stage if I were in a band.
Then suddenly it hit me.
I had food in my stomach, that would make me gain weight, and I can't let that happen!
Without being able to control myself, I ran to the bathroom. I leaned over the toilet, with my fingers down my throat at the same time, which resulted in me forcefully throwing up tonights dinner.
Tears fell down my cheeks at the realisation of what I had done. Just when myself and everyone around me thought I was getting better, the anorexia decided to have a second shot, and this one must have hit me hard.
After spending two weeks of healing and apparently putting on weight, I was finally allowed to come home from hospital. I wouldn't have been allowed out if it wasn't for Aaron, because he told me that to get out, I must eat to gain weight. Also, throughout that amount of time, the love between Aaron and myself blossumed even more. Every night he would visit me, sitting with me for hours, holding me and kissing me, praying that I would get better soon.
"I'm so pleased that you were allowed out, I know you didn't like it there" Aaron said, as he held me in his lap and played with my hair.
"Same" I replied, as I leaned my head against his chest and closed my eyes.
I felt him kiss my forehead and then stroak my cheek.
"I know I've said this time and time again" Aaron said, with his oh so sexy voice. "But you are just so goregeous."
"Not as gorgeous as you" I giggled.
I heard Aaron laugh slightly, before his arms got tighter around my body.
Aaron's point of view:
I looked down at my little angel as I held him. Rayne's never been the same since he fainted that day. Why would such a beautiful boy want to starve himself? As I've heard, his mum was devastated last year when Rayne's dad died, she can't afford to lose him as well.
I was distracted from my thoughts when I felt Rayne shuffle a bit in my lap, getting more comfortable.
"Are you tired?" I asked.
"Mmmh" he mumbled. "I'm gonna take a nap."
"Okay baby" I said, positioning us both so that he was lying a little flatter.
Rayne sighed contently, and I brushed some hair away from his face.
I could feel his bones, even through his clothes. I noticed how his studded belt was at its tightest to hold up his red skinny jeans, and his My Chemical Romance hoodie practically hung off his body. I knew he was still underweight.
Rayne's point of view:
A few days later, I sat at the dining table with Destiny and my mum. Curry was for dinner, and I only tended to have small portions of food.
"Are you going to eat your dinner tonight?" Mum asked. "You don't have to eat all of it."
I stared awkwardly at the plate of food in front of me, before taking a few bites of the chicken, and then a few spoonfuls of rice. The food tasted quite nice, so I decided to slowly eat some more of it.
"I'm very pleased to see that you have eaten all of it" my mum said, as she smiled happily, once I had finished.
"Would you like anymore?" Destiny asked.
"No thanks, I'm full" I replied.
Once excused from the table, I went upstairs to my room.
I lay on the bed, holding my full stomach. It felt really strange to actually have something inside of me for a change, it almost made me feel sick.
I examined the posters of my favourite bands, that were all over the walls. The band members all seemed to look perfect - most of them were thin. That was the main point which I picked out, and I wished that I could be just like them.
I got up off the bed and starred at my reflection in the familiar mirror. I attempted to strike a few poses, just like the people on the posters.
"Maybe I should join a band one day" I told myself. "Afterall, I can sing and play guitar."
I sighed, looking over at my shiny, black electric guitar, that was in one corner of the room. Next thing I knew, I had picked it up, plugged it into the amp, and my fingers were plucking at the strings. I found myself playing "Knives and Pens" by Black Veil Brides, who were my favourite band. Once I had done the introduction, I began to sing:
"Alone at last, we sit and fight. And I've lost all faith in this blurring light..."
When I had finished the song, I returned to the mirror.
I lifted up my t-shirt, and ran my hands over my stomach, I'm still not skinny enough, I'd make a fool of myself on stage if I were in a band.
Then suddenly it hit me.
I had food in my stomach, that would make me gain weight, and I can't let that happen!
Without being able to control myself, I ran to the bathroom. I leaned over the toilet, with my fingers down my throat at the same time, which resulted in me forcefully throwing up tonights dinner.
Tears fell down my cheeks at the realisation of what I had done. Just when myself and everyone around me thought I was getting better, the anorexia decided to have a second shot, and this one must have hit me hard.
♠ ♠ ♠
Oooh, intense. Thanks for reading.