Ice in My Veins

After it was over Danika dropped to the floor crying while she felt a pair of arms wrap around her. When she looked up it was Michael and he was wiping the hair from her face. They had finally let him go to her after the rape. She didn’t want him to touch her and she felt the bile rise in her throat, but she didn’t allow herself to become sick in front of them. She wouldn’t give them the pleasure of seeing her break fully in front of them.

When she realized that he was holding her she wiggled out of his arms. He tried to reach out for her, but she became angry, “Don’t you fucking touch me. This is all your fault. I hate you,” She cried and looked away from him towards the wall. She was starting space out and she didn’t hear foots coming towards her or felt it when Johnny picked her up and carried her battered body out of the room.

He took her into the room that she was in before and into the bathroom. He noticed that she had blood everywhere and knew at that moment that she was a virgin when Matt raped her. Blood was all over her legs and it had gotten on him but he didn’t care. He just wanted to take care of her and made sure that she was going to be alright.

Running the water he filled the tub up with hot water. Then he stripped her and placed her in the tub. He carefully washed her body and sang softly to her. He knew that she wasn’t all there, but he wanted her to hold on to reality so he just sang to her and lightly touched her. He didn’t want to slip into some unknown place in her mind.

“Johnny,” she said so low that he thought that he was hearing ghosts.

“Yes Danika,” he answered after a beat.

“Help me to understand why I was raped. Help me to understand Shadows. Tell me about his family. What did Michael do,” she whispered as she chocked back tears.

Johnny stopped washing her body and just stared at her as she stared off into space with a dead look on her face. Taking a deep breath he told her everything. He told her how Shadows’ parents were like his and the other guys’ parents as well. How they took care of them and encouraged them to at least finish high school. He talked about little Emily who was Shadows’ 10 year old sister. How she was the light in Shadows’ life and how she made him into someone who thought of others before he did something harsh. Now that she was gone how the beast he use to be was resurfacing and was getting dangerous.

Danika sat in the hot water and listened to Johnny’s voice. He told her about everything and she understood now, that what did to her was out of hurt, but it still didn’t take away the pain of being raped and in front of a group of men. She felt so ashamed. She didn’t even fight.

After a while she stepped out of the tub with Johnny’s help and she limped over to the bed that she had been sleeping in for the past week. Once she got to the huge bed that was a California King Johnny went and grabbed her some more clothes to sleep in.

“Whose room is this,” she asked him in a whisper.

“Matt’s.” She stiffened at his name, “It’s okay his been staying in another room, but since this is the highest and its father back, we decided to put you here.”

She nodded her head and took the clothes that he handed to her, “We brought you some clothes to wear so when you feel up to it they are in those drawers,” he pointed to a chest not to far away.

“Thank you Johnny, for everything,” she told him. Walking towards the door he smiled and then walked out to let her change.

Danika got dressed in another tee shirt panties and shorts. Crawling into the bed she thought about everything that Johnny had told her. Even though it didn’t excuse what he did to her she felt sorry for him. She could feel nothing, but his pain and now she understood why this was happening to her.

If this stops others from being hurt, then I will gladly take the punishment she thought as she closed her eyes and fell asleep once more. She truly was an innocent.