Ice in My Veins

Danika was at the table that was in hers and SHADOWS’ room. She didn’t feel like going down to eat dinner with everyone else and all she wanted to do was be alone. She had also heard from Carmen that Shadows had locked himself in their private room and had been drinking all day. Carmen had told her that today was his sister’s birthday and he was heartbroken about it.

It was around 9 at night and she was finishing up the meal that was before her when the doors to the room crashed opened. The sight that came to her eyes scared her. Standing in the door way was a drunken Shadows and she watched as he turned and locked the doors.

She panicked. There was no way that she could fight him and she knew that and the fact that he was drunk just made it worse. Getting up from her seat at the table she started to inch towards the bathroom, but then his voice startled her, “Can…can you help me,” he asked. It sounded like he wanted to cry, but there were no tears just blood shot eyes.

Danika’s heart was racing. She didn’t know what to say and she didn’t want to upset him. For the first time she was afraid for the life of her unborn child.

“I…I…,” he started to say, but instead of finishing his sentence he just walked to the foot on the bed and sat down. Thoughts of his family swam around in his head and he started to cry. For the first time in three months he allowed himself to cry over their deaths.

They were not the silent tears that were swallowed by his sorrow, but hard tears that came from his soul, from his heart, from his pain and they were heard. He never cried like he did at this moment.

Danika watched for a while before she got the courage to walk slowly towards him. When she was standing in front of him she jumped a little when she felt him wrap his massive arms around her and brought her closer as he buried his face into her stomach.

At first she just held her hands against her chest, but then she wrapped them around him. One arm snaked around his shoulders as the other held his head against her as she ran her fingers through his hair.

After a while his crying grew quieter, but he still didn’t let her go. Instead he leaned back until she was laying on top of him and then he flipped her over until she was lying on her back underneath him. He still had his head on her stomach and he brought his hand up to rub against it, “I…I’m sorry for what I did to you. I just wanted someone to pay. I wanted someone to feel what I feel,” he said as his hand slipped under her shirt to get better contact.

Danika didn’t know what to say at first, but soon the words slipped out, “I forgive you,” she told him softly.

Upon hearing the words he looked up at her. He couldn’t really see her eyes so he moved until his face was inches from hers, “Do you really,” he asked.

She brought her hand up to his cheek, “Yeah I do,” she said and then she tightened her hold on him giving him a hug which he allowed himself to return, “Let’s go to sleep, okay,” she said as she got out of his embrace and slipped under the covers. He nodded his head and followed after her. Gathering her into his arms he fell into a deep sleep. Something he hadn’t been able to do since that faithful night.