I'm With You

It would be wrong to say that Jack felt upset. It would be wrong to say that Jack felt scared or worried. In fact, it would be wrong to say that Jack felt anything at all.

The biting wind that whipped at the exposed skin of his hands, neck and face. The piercing of the crushed glass on the sensitive soles of his bare feet. Nothing. There was Jack Barakat, 18 years old. Jack Barakat, the boy who everyone thought had everything.

Jack Barakat. The boy who was empty.

"No," he thought to himself, "this isn't right. I do feel."
Staring down at the massive drop from the Pew Bridge, slowly inching closer and closer to the edge until- nothing. No one was coming to save him. He couldn't even save himself.

And then the rain started to fall.

Large, heavy droplets of icy water, soaking him to the skin and chilling him to the bone. There were no cars, no people. Nothing. Everything was silent, save for the pattering of rain drops on the ground and Jack's heavy breathing, forming clouds of condensation in front of him. Jack Barakat, not for the first time in his short life, was utterly alone.

"Isn't anyone trying to find me?", Jack asked aloud.
There's no one coming Jack. No one cares.
"Won't somebody come take me home?"
You don't have a home, remember? Not anymore.

Jack deliberated for a second. The voice was right. He had no one, nothing. No one cared. The worst part? Jack still felt nothing.

Gently, Jack lifted his left leg and swung it over the barrier on the side of the bridge, bringing the other leg round to meet it. He perched on the soaked metal bar, letting the cold seep further into his body. Soon it wouldn't matter anyway. Who knows how long he sat there for. Maybe 10 minutes, maybe an hour, just sitting, trying to figure out how it had got this far. When did life turn on him? When did everything he knew change, mutate, until nothing was recognisable anymore? Until nothing felt real anymore?

Just two years ago, he was on top of the world. Why did it have to change?

Jack was loved. Jack had loved. But that was all in the past. Back when weekends were spent hanging out with his friends at the local skatepark, or jam sessions in his best friend's bedroom. School-nights when he would sneak out of his bedroom window to see the people that meant the most to him. They were all gone now. That was all gone now. Now he was just a shell, a shadow of his former self and unable to return to the point at which he felt complete. I guess that's how it always ends right? You hit the top, and then there's nowhere to go but down. Way down. There was no way back up there now, trust him, he'd tried. He'd been searching for someone, something, anything he knew. Nothing.

Nothing went right anymore.
Everything was a mess.
He was alone.

Slowly, Jack lifted an icy hand to his frozen face, feeling the long forgotten sensation of water making it's tracks. Not tears, surely? Jack was numb. Jack was empty.

Shocked by this, Jack didn't realise the figure making it's way towards him, seemingly undeterred by the pouring rain. He didn't realise until the boy was stood beside him, staring at him. Startled, Jack swung his head to take a look at the stranger and was immediately stopped in his tracks.

They gazed at each other until Jack was sure he had memorised every feature of the other boy's face; the deep brown of his large eyes, the plumpness of his supple lips, the way his eyelashes fanned against his cheek everytime he blinked. He was perfect.

Suddenly, the boy smiled, showing Jack his white teeth and finally speaking.
"I'm Alex." The boy announced, sticking his hand out towards Jack.
Jack was speechless. There were a million and one questions spinning round his head and at that moment, all he could think to say was "Why? Why are you talking to me?"

Alex looked confused for all of a minute, but then began to swing his legs over the side of the bridge, sitting a little too close to Jack. Looking up at the drenched boy, Alex took him in for all that he was; skin a little too pale, bags under his eyes that made it clear he hadn't slept well for months. He was broken. But Alex knew better. He knew how beautiful Jack was, had seen how his eyes could shine like suns dying to burn up, and the way he used to smile; that smile, holy shit.

Alex knew.

"You need me," he replied, " You need me so I'm here. I'm here for you."

Jack gaped at the boy sat next to him, vaguely aware that he was emitting the warmth needed to defrost Jack's bones. He unconsciously shifted closer to Alex, who didn't understand that Jack was beyond needing anything.

"I'm uh, my name's Jack. But I'm kinda busy right now." he muttered, gesturing down towards the river beneath their feet.

He glanced back up at Alex, catching his eyes for a second and instantly regretting it. He saw pain, he saw anger, he saw regret. He saw feelings. He gasped as Alex fixed him with a gaze and began to speak again.

"You don't know me do you? But I know you. I see you all the time in school, and it hurts me to see you this way. It kills me." Alex paused, taking Jack's hand in his own and squeezing it tight. "I'm here, Jack. I'm here now. And I'll always be here."

Still focusing on Alex's deep brown eyes, Jack began to shake. He shook with the cold. He shook with the sobs of a million tears he had never cried. He gripped Alex's hand even harder, fearing that he was just a mirage, a cruel trick his mind had decided to play on realising that this was the end.

He was real.

"I-I'll take you away, take you somewhere new. A place where it won't hurt anymore. I promise. I'll save you, Jack."

"I don't know who you are," Jack began softly, "but. I-I'm with you."

Alex smiled, his eyes glinting with unshed tears as he helped Jack get over the side of the bridge where he had started. And Jack never let go of his hand, all the way.