Intangible Voices
Chapter 1
I sat across from a disabled homeless man, twisting a blue bolded pen around my index finger and thumb as I watched him desperately count his change. Pennies mostly, a quarter, maybe a nickel and dime here and there. His skin was tan, with pink blotches in the cold morning. His shirt was off. He was scabby, possibly peeling from a past sunburn, and his nails had dirt tattooed under. His hair fell like a mop on his head, and he chuckled. He was proud to have counted a dollar, misformed, it was only 69 cents.
The bus finally made it to my stop and I shuffled in my pocket. I handed the man a dollar, even though I needed it, he needed it more.
The air was the coldest it’s been all year. It never snowed in California, unless you’re up north, but I felt as if it could at any moment. I put the pen in my pocket and started my walk to school, just 3 blocks east.
Buildings everywhere were almost closed. That’s how bad the area was. Some people were so broke, radios were tied to the back of there bikes and they considered it a car.
Some closed buildings had groups, homeless families, living in them. One waved to me.
I went to one of the best schools in the 10 mile radius. Our GPI was possibly 100 points more than other schools that surround us. That’s the grade districts give schools to determine how much money they get based off test scores. 800 was the goal to be considered one of the best. We had 780. Others nearly 650-700.
The local free parking lot was crowded with kids not wanting to go inside. Usually if you hung out here you were doing some kind of drug or having sex in the back of some guy’s van before school. This is where I was most mornings, especially on late days such as this Wednesday.
But before I went inside, I met up with my friends; Brandon, Keith, and Catherina.
“Yo Jace”, my best friend, Brandon, called out as I approached. He was like a second brother to me, hence my real brother didn’t act very brotherly to me. He offered me a smoke, and I accepted, inhaling deeply and exhaling with a cough. I sucked it too fast.
“Slow down bro”, Keith said, patting my back. I passed it to Catherina, or as she likes to be called, Cat. She smoked it like a pro, putting it between her snake bites and released a sexy puff of smoke. She was the only girl I really hung out with. Most compared her to look like a mixture of Avril Lavgine and Christina Aguilera with blonde and blue streaks. She was possibly one of the 10 hottest girls in school, at least in my opinion.
I continued coughing in the cold as the school’s biggest bitch, Sophie Jackson, arrived in her new car. Her group of friends got out laughing and gathering their bags and stuff. Old school rock was playing and we all gave them the death stare. One by one they gathered around Sophie and made sure they looked nice for today; playing with each other’s hair, spraying extra perfume, etc.
Sophie and I had history. Our city is slightly small, everyone knows everyone basically. We’ve been classmates since pre-school all the way up through now. I can’t say we’ve always known each other, because she never remembered me even though we had the same teachers for pre K, 2nd, 3rd, 5th, and even some from 6th through now. She was always rich, and flashing her new tap shoes, dresses, and electronics while I wore the same converse and sweater for 2-3 years straight.
I admit in middle school I developed small crush on her, but that quickly faded when I asked her to junior prom and she shot me down with confidence splattered all over the cafeteria walls, leaving laughter on the faces of the kids. She said she couldn’t date scraps and went with a more popular kid who died in a car accident 3 years ago.
She caught my eye, lifting her possibly $100 sunglasses over her fire pink hair, revealing her hazel eyes. I honestly always thought she was beautiful enough a natural brunette, but
I’d never tell her that now. No. Never.
“Bitch”, I whispered, taking the cigar and smoking it cool like a sea cucumber. She wasn’t impressed with smokers.
She read my lips and smiled, pulling her glasses back down and like queen of the lioness, herded her girls in the school.
“You know you still love her”, Brandon said elbowing me in my ribs. I pushed him away.
“Never,” I said with confidence regained and serious on my face now.
The school bell didn’t take long afterwards and security guards were escorting students inside. Cat took the last hit and stepped on it with her boots before I lead my herd inside the building.
English
I sat in the back, still fiddling with my pen and doodling images of random objects on the corners of my journal book. I drew a dragon breathing fire under the messy word “Journal” on my page and elves attacking the prompt and pixies trying to protect my answer. We were talking about Hamlet. One of the most confusing books I’ve ever read, but of course with sparks note, it was easy to read.
“To be… or not to be…that is the question…” Mr. Helen said pacing back and fourth with a plastic skull in the pit of his hand. Everyone’s eyes were on him, except mine. I looked out the widow at the next door middle school have recess, or lunch, or whatever they have now a days. A group of kids were playing tag, and a fat kid was losing.
“Can someone, anyone tell us what this mean? What does Hamlet want out of life? Pessimistic or Optimistic?” He stopped in the middle of the room, picking prey out of prey. People turned their heads, looking down at books, read over the text in books as thick as a shoe, but I, had to be the only one looking out the window.
As vulnerable as a white rat in the night.
“So, Jace. What’s your perspective.”
I slowly turned my head and all eyes looked on me. I sat up and cleared my throat.
“Well… Hamlet shows signs of not wanting to live for various reasons. He um…” I caught Sophie’s eyes. She looked away towards the board. “He... his father died, he killed his girlfriend’s father, his girlfriend committed suicide, and he’s questioning whether living in this misery of life is really worth while. I assume he’s pessimistic by his actions”
My teacher walked to the back, looked at my journal. He looked at the people around me, at their desks, questioning if I understood the text or cheated. Everyone kind of laughed.
“Good answer mister Jace.” He said impressed and walked to the front of the room.
Sophie raised her hand, “He’s also pessimistic by the way his mother reacts to the death of his father. She was clearly in the plan for the murder of King Hamlet to marry Claudius. That action would have put me in a state of questioning as well. If my mother would go through such a horrid act as to kill my father, what price is my own life worth?” Sophie responded.
“Not much”, I said without thinking.
A chuckle from a few was heard and she turned back to me. Her eyes were never darker.
“Looks like someone’s mad”, she said.
“For what?” I responded.
“Self-hatred”
“Sounds like you”
“Quiet down you two! I do not tolerate arguments unless we are doing a group Socratic seminar”, Mr. Helen yelled. He quieted himself down. “Which is actually next class!”
Everyone let out a groan and the bell for break rung. I slid my books clean into my bag and
slipped it over my shoulder.
“Don’t forget, Quiz on Friday and study for the Finals. It’s just a month away!”
I was the first one out, ironically being one of the farthest away from the door. Brandon was hung up on talking to the new girl. She was from New York, or New Jersey; New something. My locker happened to be under his mack, and I pushed him aside causing her to laugh.
She smiled at me, but I paid no attention.
“Damn brah, what’s up?” Brandon asked.
I replaced English books with Anatomy material. “Nothing, you were just in my way”, I said zipping up my bag. “You and So-so had an argument?”
“Such up bitch” I said. He knew talking about her made me mad. Its like middle school never leaves after high school and every last memory is stapled on the back of your head for everyone to read. I started walking and knocked Sophie’s belonging out her hand. Everything scattered.
“Watch it”, I said.
“You watch it, jerk”, she replied. Her friends helped pick up her stuff and I and Brandon headed to Anatomy, with the new girl since she happens to have that class with us. We left Sophie to handle my dirty work.
The bus finally made it to my stop and I shuffled in my pocket. I handed the man a dollar, even though I needed it, he needed it more.
The air was the coldest it’s been all year. It never snowed in California, unless you’re up north, but I felt as if it could at any moment. I put the pen in my pocket and started my walk to school, just 3 blocks east.
Buildings everywhere were almost closed. That’s how bad the area was. Some people were so broke, radios were tied to the back of there bikes and they considered it a car.
Some closed buildings had groups, homeless families, living in them. One waved to me.
I went to one of the best schools in the 10 mile radius. Our GPI was possibly 100 points more than other schools that surround us. That’s the grade districts give schools to determine how much money they get based off test scores. 800 was the goal to be considered one of the best. We had 780. Others nearly 650-700.
The local free parking lot was crowded with kids not wanting to go inside. Usually if you hung out here you were doing some kind of drug or having sex in the back of some guy’s van before school. This is where I was most mornings, especially on late days such as this Wednesday.
But before I went inside, I met up with my friends; Brandon, Keith, and Catherina.
“Yo Jace”, my best friend, Brandon, called out as I approached. He was like a second brother to me, hence my real brother didn’t act very brotherly to me. He offered me a smoke, and I accepted, inhaling deeply and exhaling with a cough. I sucked it too fast.
“Slow down bro”, Keith said, patting my back. I passed it to Catherina, or as she likes to be called, Cat. She smoked it like a pro, putting it between her snake bites and released a sexy puff of smoke. She was the only girl I really hung out with. Most compared her to look like a mixture of Avril Lavgine and Christina Aguilera with blonde and blue streaks. She was possibly one of the 10 hottest girls in school, at least in my opinion.
I continued coughing in the cold as the school’s biggest bitch, Sophie Jackson, arrived in her new car. Her group of friends got out laughing and gathering their bags and stuff. Old school rock was playing and we all gave them the death stare. One by one they gathered around Sophie and made sure they looked nice for today; playing with each other’s hair, spraying extra perfume, etc.
Sophie and I had history. Our city is slightly small, everyone knows everyone basically. We’ve been classmates since pre-school all the way up through now. I can’t say we’ve always known each other, because she never remembered me even though we had the same teachers for pre K, 2nd, 3rd, 5th, and even some from 6th through now. She was always rich, and flashing her new tap shoes, dresses, and electronics while I wore the same converse and sweater for 2-3 years straight.
I admit in middle school I developed small crush on her, but that quickly faded when I asked her to junior prom and she shot me down with confidence splattered all over the cafeteria walls, leaving laughter on the faces of the kids. She said she couldn’t date scraps and went with a more popular kid who died in a car accident 3 years ago.
She caught my eye, lifting her possibly $100 sunglasses over her fire pink hair, revealing her hazel eyes. I honestly always thought she was beautiful enough a natural brunette, but
I’d never tell her that now. No. Never.
“Bitch”, I whispered, taking the cigar and smoking it cool like a sea cucumber. She wasn’t impressed with smokers.
She read my lips and smiled, pulling her glasses back down and like queen of the lioness, herded her girls in the school.
“You know you still love her”, Brandon said elbowing me in my ribs. I pushed him away.
“Never,” I said with confidence regained and serious on my face now.
The school bell didn’t take long afterwards and security guards were escorting students inside. Cat took the last hit and stepped on it with her boots before I lead my herd inside the building.
English
I sat in the back, still fiddling with my pen and doodling images of random objects on the corners of my journal book. I drew a dragon breathing fire under the messy word “Journal” on my page and elves attacking the prompt and pixies trying to protect my answer. We were talking about Hamlet. One of the most confusing books I’ve ever read, but of course with sparks note, it was easy to read.
“To be… or not to be…that is the question…” Mr. Helen said pacing back and fourth with a plastic skull in the pit of his hand. Everyone’s eyes were on him, except mine. I looked out the widow at the next door middle school have recess, or lunch, or whatever they have now a days. A group of kids were playing tag, and a fat kid was losing.
“Can someone, anyone tell us what this mean? What does Hamlet want out of life? Pessimistic or Optimistic?” He stopped in the middle of the room, picking prey out of prey. People turned their heads, looking down at books, read over the text in books as thick as a shoe, but I, had to be the only one looking out the window.
As vulnerable as a white rat in the night.
“So, Jace. What’s your perspective.”
I slowly turned my head and all eyes looked on me. I sat up and cleared my throat.
“Well… Hamlet shows signs of not wanting to live for various reasons. He um…” I caught Sophie’s eyes. She looked away towards the board. “He... his father died, he killed his girlfriend’s father, his girlfriend committed suicide, and he’s questioning whether living in this misery of life is really worth while. I assume he’s pessimistic by his actions”
My teacher walked to the back, looked at my journal. He looked at the people around me, at their desks, questioning if I understood the text or cheated. Everyone kind of laughed.
“Good answer mister Jace.” He said impressed and walked to the front of the room.
Sophie raised her hand, “He’s also pessimistic by the way his mother reacts to the death of his father. She was clearly in the plan for the murder of King Hamlet to marry Claudius. That action would have put me in a state of questioning as well. If my mother would go through such a horrid act as to kill my father, what price is my own life worth?” Sophie responded.
“Not much”, I said without thinking.
A chuckle from a few was heard and she turned back to me. Her eyes were never darker.
“Looks like someone’s mad”, she said.
“For what?” I responded.
“Self-hatred”
“Sounds like you”
“Quiet down you two! I do not tolerate arguments unless we are doing a group Socratic seminar”, Mr. Helen yelled. He quieted himself down. “Which is actually next class!”
Everyone let out a groan and the bell for break rung. I slid my books clean into my bag and
slipped it over my shoulder.
“Don’t forget, Quiz on Friday and study for the Finals. It’s just a month away!”
I was the first one out, ironically being one of the farthest away from the door. Brandon was hung up on talking to the new girl. She was from New York, or New Jersey; New something. My locker happened to be under his mack, and I pushed him aside causing her to laugh.
She smiled at me, but I paid no attention.
“Damn brah, what’s up?” Brandon asked.
I replaced English books with Anatomy material. “Nothing, you were just in my way”, I said zipping up my bag. “You and So-so had an argument?”
“Such up bitch” I said. He knew talking about her made me mad. Its like middle school never leaves after high school and every last memory is stapled on the back of your head for everyone to read. I started walking and knocked Sophie’s belonging out her hand. Everything scattered.
“Watch it”, I said.
“You watch it, jerk”, she replied. Her friends helped pick up her stuff and I and Brandon headed to Anatomy, with the new girl since she happens to have that class with us. We left Sophie to handle my dirty work.