The Beach

I can still see it.

3 AM. The man with the gun is in our kitchen, looking around. For what, I've no idea. But I'm about to find out. I'm standing at the foot of the stairs. When I see him, I can't help it. I scream. He turns to me. He's wearing a black ski mask, so all I can see is his cold eyes. I need to call the police. Why don't I have my phone in my hand!? God. dammit! It's upstairs in my room.. I'm frozen in fear. My father comes pounding down the stairs behind me. The gunman turns slightly so that his gun is aimed directly at my father.
"What the hell?" My dad asks. That's all he can get out before the gunman pulls the trigger. My father falls to the floor next to me.
"Daddy!" I find I can move again. I rush to his side, shaking him. "Daddy!" I sob. I shake him again and again but I know he's gone. More gunmen walk out of the living room and stand next to the other one, glancing at me every now and then.
"What about the girl?" One asks.
"No," says my father's killer. "We were told to get the man, we're done now." They all leave after that. I sob into my father's chest, listening for a heart beat that I know won't be there, until the police arrive. A neighbor must have called them when they heard the shot. The paramedics take my father away on a stretcher. By this time, four-year-old Celeste has been woken up by the sirens and walks down the stairs, immediately jumping into my arms.
"Who all these people, Nessa?" She whispers.
"Who ARE all," I correct automatically. "They're...they're police."
"Why they here? I mean, why ARE they here?"
"Daddy's...Daddy's gone, baby. They're here to make sure everything turns out okay."
"Why is Daddy gone?" She asks innocently. "When is he coming back?"
"He's...he's not coming back, baby. Daddy...Daddy went to go be with Mommy."
"Daddy's...Daddy's dead? Like Mommy?" She begins to cry.
"Yes, Cel. Just like Mommy."

I jolted upright, shaking and sweating. I wrapped my arms around my knees, lowering my head into my arms and sobbing. I've relived the night of my fathers death every night for the last month. Every night since it happened. I glanced over at my little sister, making sure I hadn't woken her. I got up off my bed slowly, not wanting to disturb Celeste, who'd been sleeping with me every night since that dreadful day.
I walked out to the living room and sit on the couch, unsurprised to see my older brother Alex doing something in the kitchen. He'd been sleeping about as well as I had, that is, not at all. He sat next to me and handed me a cup of hot chocolate.
"Fancy meeting you here," He said lamely. I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah, not like I live here or anything," I replied sarcastically.
Alex wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him.
"You doin' okay, 'Ness?" I shook my head. He nodded and pulled me into his lap. We just sat there, both of us lost in our thoughts. Eventually I fell asleep and Alex carried me to my bed.

~

I felt a weight on me and groaned in my sleep.
"Nessaaaa! Wake uuuuuup!!!" I heard a familiar voice yell impatiently. I opened my eyes to find dark brown eyes looking down at me from under long black eyelashes. My best friend was straddling my waist, his hands on either side of my head, his black bangs falling over his eyes.
"Izzy!" I whined. "Get. Off. Me!" I squirmed under him, trying to escape, but he grabbed my wrists and held me there.
"What if I don't?" He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively and I rolled my eyes. Thankfully, in that moment Alex decided to walk into my room.
"Isaac Barakat, off my sister!" He pushed Izzy off of me. "Ness, you need to be ready in an hour." Without another word, my brother walked out.
Shit. Packing. Tour. Argh.
"I need to change, Iz," I said sternly, pointing at the door. Izzy nodded and walked out of my room, closing my door behind him. I changed into my green Never Shout Never sweatshirt, black skinny jeans, green converse high tops, and lastly, the gold locket my mother'd given me for my 10th birthday, just before Cel was born and she died. I opened the door and let Izzy in, then began packing mine and Cel's bags.
"I can't believe we're going on tour with them," said Izzy in wonder.
"I know, but we really don't have a choice since Alex has custody of us now..." I shrugged. Alex had been granted custody of my baby sister and I after my father's death. Normally, the children would go to an aunt or uncle, but given that we had a 24-year-old brother with a place of his own...
Izzy came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder.
"You okay, babes?" He asked gently. I shrugged. "You know I'm always gonna be here for you, right?" I nodded. I'd known Izzy since I was three, having been thrown together because our brother's were best friends and our parents figured: they're the same age, they'll be fine. They were right. We had become each others best friends. I would even say I loved him. After a while of standing there in silence, I knew I had to get back to packing. I moved out of his embrace reluctantly and knelt next to my dresser, tossing all my needed clothes into my huge purple duffel bag. I stood up a little too quickly and immediately felt weak. My head was pounding and I would've fallen flat on my face, were it not for Izzy coming up behind me and catching me.
"Hey," he said softly. "You haven't eaten today have you?" I shook my head. Izzy sighed and pulled two little hard candies out of his pocket, handing them to me. I smiled and stuck one in my mouth. The whole reason Izzy was going on the tour was so I'd have someone to take of me even if the guys were wasted and what not.
"Come on," said Izzy, tugging on my hand. "Let's go get something to eat before we have to leave."

~

I checked and double checked that I had everything I needed for Celeste and I. My purple duffel bag sat at my feet with Celeste's smaller, pink one. I had my painted canvas backpack on my shoulders. I'd dressed Celeste in her custom made black All Time Low t-shirt, white jeans, and her mickey mouse shoes. She had her unicorn backpack on her shoulders and her Tinkerbell necklace on. Izzy was standing next to me, wearing black skinny jeans, a JAGK t-shirt, his black hemp Vans, with his signature bright red beats hanging on his neck. Alex and Jack were behind us, arguing loudly about whether Jack could watch Home Alone once we got on the bus. I rolled my eyes. When the bus pulled up, Cel tugged on my shirt and opened her arms, curling her fists again and again. I smiled and pulled her into my arms, resting her on my hip. She buried her face in my neck.

Alex opened the door and led us into the bus, carrying our bags for us. Celeste peeked out briefly, saw how many unfamiliar faces filled the room, and immediately hid her face in my hair again.
"'Ness, you know Jack, Rian, and Zack, and this is Grieco, Matt, Evan, and Vinny." Alex said, pointing to people as he named them. I knew Jack, Rian and Zack; growing up they'd hung out at our house alot, especially Jack. Since we'd moved in with Alex, I had seen them all quite a bit around our house, paying condolences and such. Cel was still shy around the guys though.
Jack gestured for me to sit next to him and Izzy followed Alex to the bunks so he could get settled.
"How you holdin' up, baby girl?" Jack asked as I sat down next to him with Celeste still in my lap. I smiled at the pet name. Jack had called me that since he first met me, when he was 13 and I was, well, a baby girl, only 3 years old.
"I'm...I'm holdin' on. Getting by," I answered honestly. Dealing with my father's death hadn't been easy, but with my family and Izzy, I was actually starting to feel better.
"That's good," Jack then turned to Celeste. "Cellllllll, are you gonna ignore me the whole tour?" He whined in a baby voice. I laughed at him, rolling my eyes. Cel peaked out from my hair hesitantly, looking at Jack. "That's it. Hi, Cel. I like your shirt." Jack cooed to Cel.
Cel pointed at Alex's face on her shirt. "That's my brother!" She declared proudly.
Jack laughed and pointed to himself. "Do you know who that is?"
Cel looked between her shirt and Jack several times before declaring: "It's you!"
"That's right!" said Jack. I gently pushed Cel off my lap and went to go find Izzy and set up mine and Cel's bunks.