The Beach

3 AM. A gunshot. My father falls to the floor next to me. I stare at his empty eyes. I wait for the other men to walk in, to leave, then the police, then Cel, but it doesn't happen. I look around and find my father and I are alone. There's blood on my hands. Why is there blood on my hands? Suddenly, the gun is in my hands. I shot him. I shot him. I shot him. No. I didn't shoot him. It was the gunman. But if it was the gunman, where is he? I shot him. I killed him. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My father's blood on my hands. I shot him. My fault. I killed Daddy. I killed Daddy.
"I killed Daddy!" I yelled, shooting up into a sitting position and clutching my hand to my heart. I put my hand over my mouth, hoping I hadn't woken anyone. The boys' steady breathing all around me calmed me slightly. Suddenly, the curtain to my bunk pulled back, revealed Izzy. I jumped.
"Shit!" I clutched my hand to my heart again. "You scared me."
"I'm sorry," said Izzy. He climbed up into my bunk and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his lap. I rested my head against his chest. "Nightmares?" He asked. I nodded.
"Not the usual one, though," I said. "It was different this time. I...I killed him. The gun was in my hands. There was...his blood. On my hands." I sobbed quietly into his chest.
"Shh, shh," Izzy whispered, rubbing small circles on my back soothingly. "You didn't kill him, Ness. I don't know who did, but it wasn't you. Shh, shh, it's okay." He lay us down facing each other and I fell asleep in his arms.
***
I woke to find Izzy's arms wrapped tightly around me in my bunk, my hands clutching his shirt. I smiled at him. He looked adorable when he was asleep. His eyelids fluttered open.
"Morning, beautiful," he said sleepily. I blushed.
"Morning," I said softly. I let go of his shirt and rolled out of the bunk, landing on the floor like a ninja. Izzy rolled out and landed next to me. Alex and Jack exchanged a look, having seen us both come out of my bunk. But they must've seen the dry tears on my cheeks, because they didn't say anything. I grabbed some clothes from the back lounge and went into the bathroom to change. My hair was a tangled mess today. After trying to tame it for about ten minutes, I gave up and stole one of Alex's beanies. I walked out of the bathroom and went to wake Celeste. She dressed herself in a pink skirt, a pink t-shirt, pink knee high converse, her Tinkerbell necklace, and her bracelet. I forced her to put on some small gold studs because she hardly wore earrings and soon the holes were gonna close. Izzy and I wanted to go outside, Celeste opted to stay on the bus. She pulled out her coloring books and crayons, hopping on Alex's lap and cooing, "Lexy, help me color!"
Izzy and I walked out of the bus and into the bright sun. There were band members milling around, techs carrying equipment, tour managers running around like chickens without heads, and Warped staff setting up tents. Just your average day at Warped.
Suddenly, Izzy pulled me by the hand and dragged me behind a bus. I didn't even have time to wonder whose bus it was before he was kissing me. He kissed me hard, pulling me up off the ground and pressing me against the bus. I wrapped my legs around his waist. He ran his tongue along my lip, begging for entrance. I opened my mouth, smirking into the kiss. There was something perfect and thrilling about the fact that we could be caught at any moment. I knew if any of the members of the bands or crews saw us, they would immediately turn us in to my brother, and I knew Alex would not be happy. But I didn't care. I didn't care that I had no idea where I stood with Izzy. All I cared about was the inticing flavor of Izzy's lips.

***
Where. The. Hell. Do. I. Stand!? Now that Izzy was not around to distract me I was wondering where we stood. Am I his girlfriend? Are we friends with benefits? No. I'm not a slut. Only sluts do that. Or maybe they're all girls who have no idea where they stand and are too scared to ask. Huh. I sighed. I need to find Tay. I jogged to We Are The In Crowd's bus and got to the door just as Tay was walking out. I almost ran into her.
"Hey, kiddo, what's up?" Tay asked.
"Izzy," I said, trying to catch my breath. "Izzy kissed me." Tay raised her eyebrows. I held up two fingers. "Twice. And now I have no idea where I stand with him." Tay nodded.
"All I can say is, wait for him to ask you to go out with him, if he doesn't, confront him," Tay said.
"But how long do I wait before it's too long?" I asked.
"That," she said. "Depends on you. How long are you willing to wait around for him?" And with that, she walked away, leaving me with more questions than answers.

Since patience is a virtue I do not posses, I decided to confront Izzy. Fuck it.
I found him alone, sitting on the back bumper of All Time Low's bus, headphones on, head banging to a song I couldn't hear. I pushed his headphones off and stood in front of him, my arms crossed.
"I am nobody's friends with benefits. Not even for you, Iz," I said. He raised his eyebrows and smirked at me.
"I never asked you to be my friend with benefits, Ness," He said, amused.
"You can't just kiss me and pretend it didn't happen!" I exploded at him. "Especially not twice! Are we dating!? Are we just friends!? Just friends don't KISS! Are we friends with benefits!? Do you like me!? Do you just like kissing me!? Where do I stand!?" By the end of my little rant, I was in tears. "Where do I stand?" I whispered shakily.
"Hey," said Izzy, pulling me into his lap. He wiped my tears and looked at me sadly. "I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean to stress you out so much. I just...I'm sorry. I wanted this to be happy and romantic, not tearful." He pulled a little black box out of his pocket.
"Wha-what is that?" I asked.
"Open it," he said, handing it to me. Inside was a beautiful gold ring, with a gold heart and two bands of little diamonds criss-crossing behind the heart.
"It's beautiful," I whispered.
"Vanessa Nicole Gaskarth, would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend, the only girl I will love and care for as long as I live?" He asked. I nodded slowly.
"But...why the ring?" I asked.
"It's a promise ring," he said, holding up his left hand, which had a gold ring with the word 'promise' on it.
"What are you promising?" I asked.
"I promise that I'll give this...us, my best shot. That I'll do everything I can to turn that into a wedding ring someday," he said, slipping the ring onto my left ring finger.
"Thank you, Izzy. It's beautiful," I said. He shrugged and kissed my temple. I smiled at him.

***
I was sitting between Izzy and Alex on the back lounge couch when Alex noticed my new ring.
"Hey, where'd you get that ring, Ness?" Alex asked.
"Oh," I said. "Um.."
"I gave it to her," Izzy intertwined our fingers. "We're dating."
"Finally got the balls to ask her, did ya?" said Alex.
"Fuck off, man," said Izzy.
Jack high fived him and said "Get some!"
Alex punched Jack's shoulder. "Hey, that's my sister, you creep."