Feel the Bass

I had to basically pay Morgan to go to work on Tuesday. She wanted to be around to witness Arin. After I finally got rid of her I sat on the couch and prayed to every god and deity that Celia would behave in school and I wouldn’t get a phone call informing me that she was on lockdown in the office. While I wasn’t praying I was busy panicking. I hadn’t dated since high school. I hadn’t even thought about it since I’ve had plenty else to do in the years since. The last dates I’d been on I’d erased from my mind, almost, because they were memories I’d rather not have.
Then again this wasn’t necessarily a date. It was a date to Morgan, but it could very well just be a friends thing.
Who was I kidding? I wasn’t twelve anymore. He called and asked me out and it was a date.
He rang the doorbell a few minutes later and I wondered if I could just crawl under the covers and pretend I wasn’t here. But I sucked it up and opened the door. He greeted me with a smile and a hello and we headed to his car. I was relieved that he was in shorts and a tshirt as I was dressed in shorts and a tshirt. Morgan tried to dress me and do my hair, but I’d fought her off with a broom.
Classic rock was playing low and he drove with the windows down. I liked that. Today was a day where it was warm, but not hot and the breeze was refreshing. “Did you have anywhere in mind?” he asked and I shrugged.
“As long as it’s nowhere that’ll cost me an arm and a leg I’ll be fine,” I said to him and he nodded.
“What grade is she in?”
“She just started kindergarten.”
“How does she like it?” he asked and I laughed.
“You’d think I was sending her to the sweat shops or the coal mines most days, but I think in a small way she is enjoying it. She has an aid since it’s not a special classroom, but she hates her so that holds her back. But she’s getting more interested in books and can write her name. I take those as small victories.”
“I think any parent would. I remember being terrified in kindergarten and all those huge older kids around you.” I laughed.
“You have a point. I just hope things continue to get better. It’s hard to find activities that keep her interest while involving her with children her own age. We live with my friend Morgan, who you met, and they talk about music. But not too many five and six year olds are aware or listening to the music she enjoys.”
“What about music lessons?” he asked and I had thought about it before. But money was tight.
“I’ve considered it,” I admitted and he nodded.
“I can see her liking that if she’s so into music,” he added.
We drove for about twenty minutes and I tried my best to not talk about Celia too much, but it was hard since she was my life. Luckily he didn’t seem bothered by it and continued to ask questions about her. When he finally parked we headed into a sandwich shop. There was a decent lunch crowd spread throughout the tables and across the bar, but we had a table and were still able to converse without shouting. He told me about how he got into playing drums and the band he used to be in and how he got his current job.
“I still kind of feel like I’m in a dream and I’m afraid I’ll wake up and it won’t be real,” Arin admitted and I smiled.
“Trust me, it’s the real world,” I laughed.
“So what do you do during your days?” he asked.
“I’m a magazine editor for a travel magazine. I mainly get to work from home but I got in Monday’s and Friday’s. Tuesday is my only real day off during the week. It’s a nice job and I was so thankful to get it since it gave me freedom to be with Celia.”
“So you finished college?” he asked and I nodded.
“One of my more insane ideas, but I finished in three years. She was born in October of my freshman year at college. I had Morgan stand in for me. She was at cosmetology school and had mostly night classes. I worked for three years straight. I brought Celia with me, even into class, and if she got fussy I’d leave. I filmed every class so I’d be able to work off tapes of the board and lectures. And here we are.”
“Wow Eliza that’s insane!” he exclaimed and I blushed. Morgan thought I’d been insane too, but the angrier I got at the way things turned out, the harder I pushed myself.
“I needed to be done,” I said humbly as I ate. He shook his head.
“It’s amazing. Really. I could’ve never done that,” he told me and I ignored thoughts about all the nights I almost collapsed from stress and cried myself to sleep.
“I’m glad those times are over,” I admitted and he nodded.
“I imagine.”
We finished up eating and then went walking down the street. There were people out and he told me about his family as we walked. I was glad he didn’t ask much about my family since I didn’t like to considering things have been tense ever since they found out I was pregnant. Their only daughter disgraced them to use their words. Well, mostly my mothers’ words. But it was nice to learn about him and his family.
As the time grew closer to when I’d have to get Celia he drove me back home and we sat on the front steps just talking. Our conversation went from the best ice cream flavors to if we think crows are evil to where we’d love to travel.
“You have it easy though. Those travel dreams will come true,” I said and he shrugged.
“If they want me still.”
“Stop underestimating yourself Arin,” I smiled. “You are living the dream and you’ll get to go to like Europe and South America and I’ll be here.”
“It’s not so bad here,” he offered and I shook my head.
“But dreams don’t come true while you sit around at home,” I said solemnly and he rubbed my shoulder. I had plenty of dreams once.
“Will you come again? To a show? Even if you don’t want to bring Celia, although I hope you would, would you?” he asked.
“I don’t know …”
“I promise it’ll be fun. Just trust me,” he said and grinned. I pushed away memories of the last guy I trusted and smiled back.
“I guess one more show wouldn’t hurt. But I’m not sure about Celia,” I said and he grinned even more.
“There’s one in a few weeks,” he said and I made a mental note. There was no doubt Morgan would want to go too. “But we’ll see each other before then right?” he asked with hopeful eyes.
“Of course Arin,” I laughed.
“Great, that sounds great. And don’t worry. I won’t mind if you want to ever bring Celia,” he added and I felt a bit at ease that he’d said that. It was kind of him to include her.
“We’ll see about that, but you’ll definitely get to see more of me.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“And then he hugged me before he left,” I finished telling Morgan every detail of my afternoon with Arin. We were lying on her bed with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s. Celia was sound asleep in her room and I’d tried to no avail to avoid Morgan’s interrogation. She was thrilled that we were seeing each other again on Saturday. I was nervous about bringing Celia. We were going to the aquarium and it had been his idea, but I was nervous that she wouldn’t behave and that was the last thing I wanted to happen.
“Stop it Liza and let yourself have some fucking fun,” Morgan snapped. She was disappointed to know I hadn’t kissed him, but she knew I wasn’t ready for that. I had been so sure that I never wanted an intimate relationship again, but after today … I had been so at ease and it was so nice and … no, I refused to get my hopes up too high. Right now we were getting to know each other. I had no idea if it would turn into anything more.