You're Pretty From Afar

“Okay, so I guess this is it?” I sighed heavily standing outside the airport.

“Awh, don’t get upset Lils,” Josh said pulling me into a tight hug, “before you know it I’ll be back and we can spend endless days in bed together just you and me, okay?”

“Okay,” I whispered into his shoulder.

“I might even take you away for the weekend if you’re lucky,” he smiled.

“Don’t tease me,” I pouted jokingly.

“You’ll just have to wait and see,” he grinned, “but if you don’t go now you’re going to miss you’re flight.”

“Fine,” I said grumpily and moved in for a last kiss with Josh. He gripped onto my waist and pushed his lips forcefully against mine; I held his face and pushed my body against his. I hated leaving Josh, it just got harder every time we had to do this and every time felt as if my heart was going to break. But I knew we had to do it, it was wrong of me to make Josh feel bad about it so I just had to suck it up.

“I’m going to miss you gorgeous,” he said huskily as we broke away from the kiss.

I looked into his eyes, I hated this part, “Me too,” I said solemnly.

“Come on Lils, we’re going to miss the plane,” I heard Mia yell whilst Josh gave me one last hug.

“Bye Josh,” I smiled weakly.

“Bye beautiful,” he smiled.

***

Mia and I had been home for a few days now and I’d been tied down with work so only had the chance to call Josh once and text him a bit. I had an hour left of work and Josh said he would call me when I got home so I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

Just before my shift ended I took a quick check of my emails. I scrolled through the junk mail and pointless offers I received, there was one from my brother who wanted to come down from uni and visit so I decided I would ring him later, there wasn’t much else just a confirmation confirming my reading tickets with Mia, of which I was unbelievably excited for. There was one other email from an address I didn’t recognise, titled ‘JOSH FRANCESCHI’S BEEN A NAUGHTY BOY’- I clicked on the email just wondering what it was, I didn’t even think of what the subject could mean, I thought it was a joke.
I looked at the image before my eyes, I didn’t know what to say, do or think. Why would someone send me this? It was a picture of Josh in a club with some girl and he was kissing her. My mouth instantly dropped open and tears stung my eyes. What the fuck? Sometimes people made up stupid rumours but this was hard evidence and I knew it was recent and I knew it was whilst they were in America because Josh had got a stupid haircut whilst I was out there and he was wearing the top that he had just bought. There was a caption that said ‘Guess he’s not as perfect as you thought.’ What the fuck? It felt as if my heart had dropped into my stomach and shattered, he wouldn’t do this to me, he couldn’t. I logged out my emails, grabbed my bag and raced home.

I had no idea what I was supposed to do or even think for that matter. I had so many thoughts going on in my head and I felt sick, really sick. As soon as I opened the door to the apartment I ran to the toilet and threw up- I then sat back and leant against the bath slinging my head back and then I began to sob uncontrollably and I could barely breathe and I could feel my body shaking.

I heard Mia come in from work and come towards the bathroom, “Shit Lily, you scared me,” she gasped, “what the fuck are you doing?”

I didn’t say anything, I couldn’t, I just looked up at her and her face completely dropped, “Hey what’s wrong?”

I closed my eyes and began weeping again as she slid down next to me and pulled me into her, “Josh…” I couldn’t finish.

“What about him Lils? What’s happened?” she sounded really worried.

I didn’t know what to say so I pulled out my phone and accessed my emails, I didn’t want to witness the picture again so I just shoved the phone into Mia’s hand.

Her mouth dropped open wide just as mine did, “He wouldn’t do that Lily, he wouldn’t,” I could tell she was just as shocked as I was.

“But it’s there Mia, he did, he did do it…” I burst out crying again.

Mia held me tighter and tried to comfort me but my phone began to ring on the floor, “It’s Josh.”

“I don’t want to talk to him,” I sniffled.

Mia pressed the reject button and we both leant against the bath whilst I sobbed into her shoulder.

The phone began to ring again, it was Josh again. Mia looked at me and got up and took it into the other room, I listened to what she was telling Josh.

“Josh she doesn’t want to talk to you at the moment…maybe you should think about why for yourself…think about it Josh but at the moment please stop ringing her because she’s not in the greatest of states… no she doesn’t want to speak to you… bye Josh,” Mia hung up and I heard her sigh heavily.

I managed to pull myself off the ground and walk into see her, “What did he say?”

“He just wanted to speak to you and know what he had done wrong, but I didn’t tell him because he should know and he needs tell you first. But for tonight we are not going to think about Josh but we are going to drink some wine and eat our weight in Ben and Jerry’s, sound good?”

“Yeah,” I smiled.

Once Mia and I had settled down to watch ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’, my phone buzzed beside me. I hesitantly picked it up and looked, it was an email alert from the same address as the one that sent me the picture.

“What is it?” Mia asked.

“It’s an email from the same one that sent me the picture, I don’t know if I want to open it,” my voice wobbled.

“Here,” she reached out for the phone and opened the email.

I stared intently at her face which once the email had open looked indignant.

“What? What does it say?” I worried.

She looked at me sympathetically, “I don’t think you should look at it.”

“Why not? Show me,” I said as I grabbed the phone from her hand.

Once I saw the picture I didn’t cry, I just suddenly felt angry, how the fuck could he do this to me? Did he think I was that stupid I wouldn’t find out that he had cheated on me more than once? This time the caption read ‘A bit greedy, don’t you think?’ underneath a picture of Josh another night with a different girl. I could feel myself just getting more pissed off, I was not going to let him to do this to me.

I opened a new message to Josh and began to type, “Are you sure you want to do this Lils?”

“I’m not going to think he’s getting away with it, he can’t treat me like this!”

You’re so unbelievably pathetic, I almost feel sorry for you- but I don’t because you’re a prick.
Did you think I just wasn’t going to find out? Well your luck’s run out because I have.
I would appreciate it if you never speak to me again, I don’t want you anywhere near me, basically fuck off.
In fact, don’t even bother coming back and certainly don’t come back here, your stuff will be at Max’s.
Stay away from me Josh.

And I hit send.