You're Pretty From Afar

The next couple of days were horrible. I had received 34 missed calls from Josh and 62 texts all from Josh. They started off asking what he had done wrong and why wasn’t I talking to him but realisation suddenly hit him and he began to apologise profusely, again and again and again trying to find excuses for his actions. At times I found it extremely difficult to resist contacting him, I missed him so badly but that didn’t change what he had done and I just tried to get through it.

I had bagged Josh’s stuff up that was in the apartment and placed it outside my room as Mia offered to take it to Max’s for me. I still didn’t understand how things had gotten like this- one minute Josh and I were so happy together and the next thing I knew he had cheated on me. The thing that hurt the most was that deep down I still loved him, I couldn’t just switch of my feelings for him and knowing that if he really loved me he wouldn’t have done what he did. I hated him for what he had done but I could never hate him and that’s what made it ten times harder that I knew I would never stop loving him. Josh and I had been through so much together and nothing would erase that but I wish it would, I wish I could forget all the times he told me he loved me, all the times I lay in his arms at night and all the times he kissed me like I was the only girl in the world.

Mia told me I should’ve taken some time off work but I knew that would just make things worse and I would just sit feeling sorry for myself and fallen into a really bad depression. After work I went to meet Mia at the pub so we could have a few drinks together.

“Hey babe,” Mia greeted me with a hug.

“Hey,” I said as I sat down.

“I got you a drink in,” Mia smiled.

“What would I do without you?” I laughed.

“Probably be a fucking bore,” she grinned looking past my head, “Okay, don’t be mad or freak out or anything but remember Andy? Yeah, he’s over at the bar,” she bit her lip with a worried expression.

Remember Andy? How could I not remember Andy? I fell for Josh whilst I was with him and I made a stupid mistake by kissing Josh whilst Andy and I were still together and he caught us and flipped out. What I did was wrong but after it happened Andy started sending me nasty messages calling me a slut and threatening me, they died down after a while but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that he would come back sooner or later.

I tried to hide myself from him but it was too late and he had already spotted Mia and I sitting in the corner. And just like that he made his way over to us, I could see from the distance the look on his face- cocky, arrogant and smug.

He stood in front of our table just staring at us, “Do I not get a hello then?”

“Go away Andy,” I said, avoiding eye contact with him and focusing on Mia.

“Where’s loverboy tonight then?” he asked sadistically.

I didn’t say anything just gave him a look which hopefully gave him means to fuck off.

“Awh, did he break your heart? I always knew he wasn’t a one woman guy, shame,” Andy sniped.

“Andy just piss off, leave her alone,” Mia defended me but I couldn’t take it so I got up and headed for the door.

“Nice one dickhead,” I heard her say.

***
After last night’s incident with Andy I felt like complete shit, I didn’t understand how someone I used to trust could be so cruel, Josh and him were as bad as each other. Why did I always go for the bad ones?

When I was at work I received a text from an unknown number, I just prayed it wasn’t anymore pictures or revelations about Josh.

Hey Lily, I just wanted to apologise for my behaviour last night. It was completely out of order and uncalled for and you didn’t deserve it. I hated the way things ended between us and how I reacted, I am truly sorry for how I treated you and someday I hope you would forgive me and accept my offer to buy you a drink sometime.
All the best, Andy x

I must’ve gaped at the message for a good five minutes, I was really not expecting that- it seemed like the Andy I used to know, the one I almost fell in love with who was caring and kind and honest, where did it come from? For some reason I decided to text back straight away and I don’t know what made me do it but I just did.

Thank you for telling me that, I am also sorry for how things ended between us, I never meant to hurt you like I did, it just happened and I apologise. A drink would be lovely, how about tonight?
Lily x

Andy and I arranged to meet up at the pub at half six so straight after work I went to get the drinks in.

It wasn’t as awkward as I thought it was going to be, we were both relaxed and casual with one another, it was nice. He even made me laugh a few times, which was a miracle considering the state I had been in the last few weeks. He asked me what I had been up to and how work was and we talked about his business that he had set up for lending unsigned bands equipment. It was nice to have someone to take my mind off things and it was nice to have a friend back. He didn’t even attempt to ask me what happened between Josh and I of which I was extremely grateful.

I suddenly realised that I had drunken far too much and when I tried to stand up I just fell back down again, “Shit,” I smiled.

“No worries, we can call you a cab back from mine,” he smiled, holding out his hand for me.

“Okay, thank you,” I smiled back.

When we got back to Andy’s all the memories came back to me, we had had some good times together and I was feeling somewhat nostalgic so what I did next was either stupid of me or the right thing for me.

As Andy hung my coat up I walked up to face him and pulled him into kiss me. He was shocked by my actions but then realised what I was trying to do and kissed me back forcefully. A sudden urge came over me and the next thing I know, I was ripping his clothes off of him whilst he did the same to me. I knew that at some point I would probably regret this, but right now I wanted it so bad.