You're Pretty From Afar

“For fuck sake Lily, hurry up or they’re going to go without us!” Mia yelled from the hallway of the apartment building.

“Hold on,” I replied as I tried to lift my bag out of the apartment, “I could do with some help you know!”

“Here let me,” a hand reached for my bag and I looked up to find Dan grinning at my pathetic attempt to drag my bag around.

“Thank you Daniel,” I smirked.

Mia and I were going to Reading Festival this weekend and seeing as the boys were performing they offered to take us on their bus, they even offered us to stay with them but Mia and I would much rather live it rough and get the full experience- it was always more fun that way! Plus, I don’t know how much I could take of Josh. However, they had managed to get us access all area passes so we were able to hang with them too, despite Josh.

Things were slightly awkward on the way there with Josh. He was looking for a seat but the only free one was next to me so I shot him a ‘don’t even think about it’ look, of which he took notice of and disappeared towards the back of the bus. He also took the last diet coke, of which he knows it’s the only thing I drink and I was sure he did it to piss me off- childish as always, I was sick of him already, I don’t think I could stand to see him anymore this weekend. Luckily Dan’s sister Sarah and Georgie, Chris’s girlfriend were on the bus too and kept me distracted from how infuriating he was.

We got there at about 8pm and seeing as there were no performances on the Thursday we all decided that we were going to get a bit wild and get smashed. The guys weren’t performing until the Sunday so it’s not like they had to get an early night.

“Here you go Lils,” Georgie said as she handed me a Budweiser, “you look like you need it,” she smiled.

“Hell yes, thanks,” I smiled back.

“So, now that we’re not on the bus, how are things with you and Josh?” she queried.

I avoided eye contact with her and looked at Josh standing beside a tent next to Matt, “Josh and I are history, there isn’t anything to tell.”

Georgie looked at me, I knew she didn’t believe me, “So you’re not still in love with him?” I was taken aback by her bluntness, so much that I didn’t know how to respond.

I hesitated before answering, “I don’t know, I don’t think I’m in love with him anymore, but I think I’ll always love him in some way, whether I want to or not,” I said solemnly.

Georgie place her hand on my arm and smiled weakly, “I’m sorry for what happened between you guys, you were good together,” and then she left me to go and see Chris.

I remained in the same position lingering over what Georgie had just said, the thing is, I knew we were good together so that just made it hurt even more.

I managed to find Dan, Mia and Max who were talking to some guys from Young Guns. I’d met them all before when we all went and saw them perform in Kingston and they seemed like really nice guys.

“Lily right? You’re with Josh?” Gustav, the singer, asked me.

“Yep and no, not anymore,” I said quickly, trying to brush past the subject.

“Oh sorry,” he looked embarrassed, “we met in Kingston as I recall.”

“Yeah, when Max decided it was a good idea to drink Jagerbombs all night,” I laughed, Max went completely mental that night, managing to strip completely naked in the middle of the street.

Gustav laughed with me, “Yeah, that wasn’t a pretty sight,” he smiled, “can I get you another drink?” he offered politely.

“That would be lovely, thanks.”

Gustav was pretty good looking, actually he was really good looking. He had the perfect jaw line, gorgeous thick, black hair and beautifully, piercing, blue eyes that were hypnotic. Gustav also had an amazing smile, one that would make you feel instantly happy as soon as he flashed it but he was also just a really nice person which made talking to him so much more pleasurable.

“Here you go,” he smiled and I thanked him.

“So how have you been?” he asked.

I didn’t really want a deep conversation with someone I barely knew so I just gave a generic answer, “I’ve been great thanks, how about you?”

“Good, I’ve been doing alright, the band keeps me going,” he beamed.

I couldn’t help but smile at his, “How is the band?” I asked, genuinely interested.

“Great, our second record did well and we’ve just been touring a lot the past few months which has been tonnes of fun!” he looked excited just by talking about it, it was cute.

“Yeah I bought it, it’s really good, you guys did well,” I complimented.

“Thanks Lily, you know you should come and see us when we’re in London next and then maybe we could go out for a drink after or something,” he said scratching the back of his head.

I smiled sweetly at his offer, “That would be great, I wi-” A large body crashed right into me knocking my drink all over my top and my body into Gustav’s.

“Shit I’m so sorry Lils,” it was Max, of course.

I just laughed, “It’s alright Max, don’t worry about it,” I said and he ran off back to doing whatever he was doing.

“Are you okay?” Gustav looked down into my eyes. I didn’t realise how close we were still standing and I suddenly came very aware that my top was soaking wet.

Gustav handed me some napkins and then began to shed off his jacket, “Oh no, you don’t have to do that, I’m fine,” I refused.

“Don’t be silly,” he smiled, “you’ll get cold otherwise,” he said placing his leather jacket over my shoulders.

“Thank you,” I smiled and looked up at him before the look we shared was once again interrupted- this time by someone yelling. I instantly recognised the voice, it was Josh.

Gustav looked around me and I turned around to see Josh flipping out whilst Chris and Matt were chasing after him.
“I’m not going to stand around like a fucking twat and watch her pour herself all over him!” Josh yelled as he stormed off towards the bus parking lot.

“Josh wait up man, calm down. She’s not even doing anything, come back,” Matt shouted after him.

Just before Josh went out of view he paused and turned his head towards me and gave me the filthiest look. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to make me feel like I was doing something wrong by talking to Gustav, he made me so angry. I felt my whole face heat up with anger, I hated that I let him do this to me.

“Are you okay?” Gustav interrupted my thoughts.

I turned back to face him, “Um, yeah sorry, I have to go but I’ll see you later, thanks for the drink,” I said as I gave him his jacket back and sped away.

As I walked towards the bus to get my stuff and put it in Mia’s and my tent I could feel myself getting angrier and angrier, Josh had no right making a scene like that and making me feel like I was in the wrong. He was so infuriating!

I stormed onto the bus and went to grab my bag, to my stupidity I failed to realise this was where Josh had just ran off to as well, so I was unable to escape his wrath.

“Having fun were we?” he spat.

“Just leave it Josh,” I growled at him, rapidly searching for some of my stuff avoiding eye contact.

“Hit a nerve did I? Feeling guilty?” he snarled.

He was unbelievable, I stopped what I was doing and turned to face him as he was seated in front of me, “Feeling guilty? What the fuck do I have to feel guilty for Josh? I am able to do what I want okay, so just fucking grow up and get over it!”

Josh slammed his laptop down and stood up so we were level, “Babe seriously, you need to stop acting so desperate- it was obvious you were gagging for it.”

“Just leave me alone, I don’t want anything to do with you so you can stop getting worked up just because for once in your life things didn’t go your way!” I screeched.

“Seriously, you think I’m bothered by you trying to jump into bed with someone who obviously didn’t want it? I had you first remember,” he grinned devilishly.

“Yes, had, past tense Josh, you were the one who broke this relationship, so don’t pretend like you don’t care because we all heard you Josh,” I said trying to calm myself down.

“You thought that acting like a whore would make me jealous? Well think again because it didn’t work and you just looked like a slut,” he sat back down, careless.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, how did someone I love so much manage to hurt me so much and then think he could just walk all over me, “Josh you’re pathetic,” I said rationally before walking off the bus.