Meaningless Routine

When I was fifteen, walking the halls of my large school as a new sophomore, I first saw him. He was something different - something beautiful. My new friend that I had made in my first period class - Madeline - told me that he was a junior and that he had an off and on girlfriend named Harper. He had glanced at me, and when he turned away, he quickly looked back. Our eyes met and I could swear to you that that was the moment I fell in love with him.

Madeline laughed, telling me that if I wanted to give it a go - since apparently, him and Harper were currently off - I could. With a shrug, I had made my way over to the apparently famous boy of the new high school I was completely clueless about.

As I had walked towards him, the other boys standing with him - who all seemed to be baseball players by the Letterman jackets they wore - looked over at me, along with him. He smiled as I neared and from the corner of my eye, I saw a girl, who I assumed to be Harper, give me a large glare. I didn't know where my sudden confidence came from. Maybe it was the fact that I was at a new school and that gave me the ability to be a new person that no one knew.

Finally, I reached him and he raised his eyebrows as he stood up from the cafeteria table he had been sitting on. I put my hand out to him and smiled back. "Hi, I'm Alex."

He had murmured one word to me - his name - as he shook my hand lightly. It was simple, yet delicate to my ears. I told him that it was nice to meet him and then when I turned to walk off, his hand slipped around my wrist.

"Do uh, do you want to sit with us?" he asked, glancing at the other guys at the table. His question was a simple one, but he had a stated it like it was a national secret.

My eyes searched for Madeline instantly, not wanting to leave her. But I didn't see her at all. She wasn't anywhere to be found and that was when I frowned and looked at him. I nodded and he smiled again. The nervousness that I had sensed in his eyes, had faded.

The boys around him all told me their names as we sat down. There were many of them and I knew it would take a bit to remember their names. After a few minutes, they all stood up again and walked off, leaving me with him, and they went to get their food. I, however, hadn't been hungry.

"Are you going to eat?" he asked me. I shook my head and asked him the same question. "I, uh, I have a culinary class right before this. We made pizza today."

He smiled at me and this one was different. It was a cheeky smile and I couldn't help but laugh. "Was it good?" I questioned. He nodded. "Well then, you'll have to make me a pizza one day."

This time, he laughed and agreed to it. Then he asked me why he'd never seen me before. "Are you new?" he also asked. I told him I just moved to Hillside. "You have an accent. Are you from the south?"

Nodding, I glanced across the cafeteria at the boys all watching us as they waited in line. "I'm from this small town in Texas. It's like, three hours outside of Houston, if you know where that is. It's right on the beach."

"That's a big jump. From Texas to California. Why the move?" At his question, I scrunched my nose up and shook my head, telling him I wasn't going to answer that quite yet. "Too personal," he guessed. He was right. "Well, maybe one day you'll tell me."

After that, I ate lunch with those boys everyday. Madeline told me I was lucky. Usually, girls didn't sit with them. They didn't really let girls sit with them, not even their girlfriends. It was a jock thing, she told me. I didn't understand. Anyways, they were all awesome and it only took me a week to remember their names.

Even after he and Harper went back on, I still sat with them and she didn't. Even though he had a girlfriend again, Ben, the boy who sat next to me, told me not to worry. I didn't really understand, because we were only friends. When I said that, Ben laughed, then told me a sarcastic remark. I just rolled my eyes and continued my conversation with the boy across from me named Austin, who had been pulled away for a second by someone in his Physics class.

"Anyway," he had said to me softly, "I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me Friday?" he asked.

I was stunned. Never had I thought Austin looked at me that way. From the corner of my eye, I saw him look at us. My mouth opened and closed several times, looking for the answer to give. Finally, I nodded and told him I would. He smiled and stood up, saying he was going to get a water to drink.

Next to me, he turned completely. "You're not going out with Austin, Alex," he told me.

My eyebrows furrowed. "What? Yes I am."

"No, you aren't."

For some reason, that angered me. Who did he think he was, telling me whom I could or couldn't go out with. That was ridiculous. He had a girlfriend, so why did it matter? It shouldn't have matter.

"You don't control me. You can't tell me who I can't go out with." I stood up quickly and grabbed my things, letting my anger get the best of me.

Ben touched my arm, telling me to calm down, but I ignored it and took a step away from the table. "Alex-" he started.

"Just fuck off, Aiden," I told him, then walked away.