Meaningless Routine

"Alex, sweetie, I think you need to come back to Hillside," my father told me one afternoon as I talked to him on the phone. When I first asked him why, he refused to answer me, saying that I needed to find out for myself. At first, I thought the worst. I thought it was something with my dad or his girlfriend or with Liam. Nothing else registered in my mind, other than my family. But when my father said, "Aiden, sweetie, he's in the hospital," my heart dropped.

That was how I found myself walking down the halls of the local hospital in Hillside. My heart was beating out of my chest and I was more than nervous. I hadn't seen or spoken to Aiden in nearly nine months, since we'd been out of contact after we said goodbye that night in my room. I had ignored his calls and his texts went unread.

The woman at the front desk almost didn't let her see me. She didn't believe me when I told her I was married to Aiden, since I looked too young and she would never believe we were related. Just as she asked for my name a second time and I muttered the words, a nurse walked by. At first, she kept walking, but then she stopped and turned around.

"You're Alex Callahan?" she asked me. I raised my eyebrows and then I nodded. "Come with me, sweetheart, I'll take you right to him."

My small Louis Vuitton bag hanging from my right shoulder hit my hip constantly, due to the fast pace I had to keep up with the nurse. I was nearly sprinting after the nurse down the hallway. When we reached the room and she noticed I was almost out of breath, she smiled and apologized, saying that she was used to fast-walking.

"Why is he in the hospital? No one will tell me," I said softly.

She pursed her lips together. "Aiden will tell you, sweetie. He should be awake by now, you can go on it."

Turning around, I glanced at the door that was shut. The little sign on the door read 'Aiden Parkson' and when I put my hand on the handle, I pulled it back instantly. "I can't do this," I muttered, mostly to myself.

"You have to," the nurse told me, urging me forward. "Take a deep breath and go in."

My fingers wrapped around the handle and I pushed it open, but barely. I let out my breath and I took a couple steps forward. There was a wall in the way, so I couldn't see Aiden yet and again, I contemplated walking away. But when I turned around, the nurse was there. I knew she wouldn't let me leave, so I pulled my act together and stepped all the way in the room, letting the big wooden door shut behind me.

It took a moment, but I looked up. Aiden, lying the bed, was looking directly at me. His eyes were piercing into me and I felt like a ton of bricks had been dropped on me.

"Hi," I said to him.

He held up his hand, waving his fingers. "Hi," he replied.

The machine next to him that was connected to his body had a steady beep going, which was the only noise in the room. Neither of us spoke for a minute.

"Why are you here?" he finally asked.

I looked up at him, repeating the question to myself. Why was I there? I hadn't spoken to Aiden for months and we had been broken up. So why did I fly all the way from Texas to California, just because he was in the hospital?

Finally, the words fell from my lips. "Because I love you." I took a couple steps forward. "Did you think I wouldn't come here?"

He nodded. "You haven't answered my calls or texts. I thought you stopped caring."

I stopped at his bedside. I sat down and pulled his hand into mine. "Don't say that. I told you I'd always love you. But you have to remember that you said you'd let me go. I was going to college, just what you did. And when my dad told me you were here... next thing I knew, I was getting off the plane."

He nodded again, slowly this time. "Did you find yourself back home?" he asked, rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand. I shook my head slowly. "Why not?"

"Because I don't know who I am. I thought I knew when I was with you, but I don't anymore. I was wrong. I don't have a fucking clue who I am and I don't know what the hell I want anymore."

We spoke for a little bit about our lives apart and how we were doing. We talked about nearly everything we missed. There was one thing he didn't bring up, though. One thing that was bothering me a lot.

"Why are you in the hospital, Aiden?"