once.

today i stood in the bathroom
stared at every little piece of me, the distended tummy, the fat hips
the way my chest just hung, didn't look normal
and i shook my head as i glanced downwards

only once

maybe more acidic, maybe burned my throat
a shot of whiskey up instead of down
but it was the best burn in years

but i think that only once will turn into something more than once
because food tasted better the second time than the first.