My Mistake, So Predictable

Alex looks great on stage, even better then when he is swinging his feet carelessly on the counter in the guitar store or lazily spread out on across my couch; playfully refusing to give me any room. It’s almost like the blindingly bright lights and heavy pounding of his music make him come alive; his eyes look brighter, his smile wider, and there’s a more noticeable bounce in his step that shows when he excitedly hops around between his band mates. Every aspect of him glows as he throws his heart into singing for the crowd, it’s incredible.

Hell, his jokes are even better! When it’s just the two of us or all of us as a group, his jokes are a little, *cough* lame *cough* hah, don’t tell him I said that! But on stage between songs, Alex and the other boy’s silly banter keeps everyone laughing. Actually, I’m surprised that there are still so many kids around after some of the jokes they’ve told. Because the language that spews from those guy’s mouths; holy cheese balls! If there were any virgin ears in the audience before the show, there certainly isn’t anymore!

But anyway, the guys really know how to connect with the crowd. They tease them with their words and flirty body signals, reach as far out to the crowd as they can go and grasp onto hands, and hold eye contact with as many fans as possible; calming them with a reassuring smile. Its breath taking to watch Alex, Jack, Rian, and Zack put on a show. It’s like every point of them is shown as they sing and play their hearts out; nothing is hidden from their fans.

From the side of the crowd, I watch them closely. Yes, I had moved from the center of the crowd before Alex had seen me. I-I just need time to be able to react to what had just happened. Alex in a famous band? Not just Alex, but the rest of his crazy friends too? And just as that thought of their friends crosses my mind, I catch a glimpse of Matt moving backstage, checking on the boys attempting to do front flips off of the amps. So Matt is a part of the whole shebang too. He must be their manager or something, I vaguely remember him yelling at them to hurry up at the guitar store the first day I had met them. Stressed tour managers are the key to a successful band hah!

The slowing of the music brings me back from my daydream and Rian, Zack, and Jack walk off, leaving Alex standing alone center stage. One of their crew walks out and hands Alex a stool and an acoustic guitar and he places the three legged stool down on the stage. Carefully he sits down, pulling the instrument across his lap and pushes his sweat soaked bangs out of his eyes.

“You guys don’t mind if I slow it down a bit, right?” He asks, staring out at the crowd as his lips move in front of the microphone. The crowd cheers in response, and he nods, grinning at the noise.

“This song is called Therapy.” Alex strums down a little on the strings, playing a random riff before looking out at the fans again, still smiling, happy to be where he is. “It’s a song that really means a lot to me, and I hope you guys like it.”

And just like that he’s singing the song that I had become so familiar within the confines of the guitar store. But nothing pre-recorded is as completely amazing as the live version that unfolds right in front of me. The emotion that is reflected in Alex’s eyes is so raw as he sings the verses he must have wrote, and he encourages the crowd to sing along with him.

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Alex kept his eyes on his long fingers as he played the final notes, letting the crowd soak it in for a moment before he glances up under his hair. The fans erupt and Alex’s face split into a shy smile. “Glad you enjoyed it.” He kept his fingers poised over the strings, every now and then plucking one at random. “If you guys are still into it, Imma keep it slow still.” The crowd cheers again, earning another smile from the singer on stage. “Good. This song’s called Remembering Sunday.”

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After the show ended, I debated leaving. I knew Alex and the rest of the guys would want to shower and meet their fans after, but in the end, I decide to stay. Alex had gone through all of the trouble to get me an all access pass so I might as we- “Oh my god.” I say aloud, slapping the palm of my hand to my head. A girl behind me slams into my back as I stop dead in the middle of the walkway, and then she curses and glares at me for a moment before stepping around me to rejoin her group of friends.

“Damn you, Alex.” I mutter ignoring the girls who had flipped me off. At the same time I can’t help but giggle at the situation. He had told me he was able to get really good tickets because he was really close with the lead singer of the main act. Tricky bastard.

So I head backstage again, flashing my all-access pass to the beefy security guard who lets me in after thoroughly checking my pass. After, he shrugged apologetically and explained with, “Some crazy ass girls tried to make their own passes and try to fake their way in.” I laugh and told him its fine, I only stalk on facebook. To which he chuckled and agreed.

After I finish talking with the bodyguard about how pissed I get when people block their pictures on facebook so I can't creep, I contiune on backstage until I spot Matt rushing around, trying to finish things up. The guys are nowhere in sight so I head over to the familiar face, smiling in relief when he grins in recognition.

“Hailey!” He yells over the shouting of the rest of the crew and band members.

“Matt!” I shout back grinning, “The show was unbelievable!”

He smirks and hands a few papers to someone and then turns back to me with a happy nod, “Yeah, they did really good.” His eyes then flicker downwards and he gasps. My eyes fly down, anticipating my zipper being down or something equally embarrassing but instead he grabs the hem of my shirt. “I fucking love your shirt!” He says about my red Mickey Mouse shirt I had thrown earlier on with the help of Tabitha.

I giggle and thank him. “You like Mickey Mouse?” I ask.

He laughs, “Like? I fucking love the little guy!”

As he starts talking animatedly about all of the Mickey Mouse dolls *ahem* I mean, stuffed animals and items he has, I catch sight of a certain brown haired boy, his hair still wet from his shower and his shirt clinging to his chest. And I can’t even describe the flow of emtion that washes over me. All I can think of is…

Anger.

But what the hell? Seconds ago I was happily chatting with Matt, telling him about how amazing the show was; and now I’m pissed off.

And embarrassed.

Alex had let me make a fool out of myself in front of him, Rian, Jack, and Zack. Not to mention all of their friends and crew members. Any one of them could have told me anytime that the songs I had recently started listening to and liking were written and played by them. Hell, I had listened to Therapy on repeat for days after listening to it with Alex. I had told him how much it meant to me and related to my life. When really, the song had to have been talking about his own past! I'm an idiot.

So before Alex can see me, I tell Matt a hurried goodbye and head for the quickest exit. I need time away from him to figure this out.