Let's Keep It A Secret

I was woken by the sun warming my face.

My bunk seemed too small, oddly crushed, and for a moment I wondered if I’d fallen out of the bed and somehow rolled into the small space underneath it. Then I felt a warm arm shift across my chest, and it all came flooding back.

I allowed my eyes to flutter open and was met with sun-kissed, tattooed skin and messy brown hair resting on my shoulder. This honestly surprised me somewhat; Oli was never one to stay with his flings for long. Then again, it wasn’t like he’d be having many ‘flings’ after this. That was something I was going to make sure of.

I carefully maneuvered myself out from under Oli, slipping out of the bed and dressing hastily with clothes I’d yanked out of the suitcase at the foot of my bed. I made sure to get dressed as quietly as possible, as the silence on the bus made it apparent that it’s other occupants were still sleeping.

As I finished tugging a brush through my morning sex hair, something caught my eye. The curtain to my bunk was pulled back just a bit, even though I’d made sure to shut it completely after we’d finished our ‘business’, and I had exited out the other side that morning, the one near our legs. That could only mean one thing; my bandmates. They knew.

I bit my lip for a moment, debating the consequences of what I’d just done. The second they were up, they’d be questioning me relentlessly about Oli, insisting on knowing every detail of, well, everything. A soft sigh escaped my lips as I threw the brush back into my bag. Everyone would know soon enough. And then… then, Oli would finally get what he deserved.

I ducked out the door and into the street.

And then I went everywhere.

Alternative Press, Kerrang, I even called up an editor of RockSound, back in Britain, where this would definitely get more publicity.

And I told them everything.

If I had my way, my story would be all over the pages of their next magazines. And judging by their reactions to what I told them, I was definitely getting my way. Oli’s little ‘secrets’ would be all over the country, with photographic evidence to back it up.

And Oli will lose everything. But then again, I’ve also given him an opportunity to gain everything – humility, love, maybe even true freedom.

All he needs to do is be a man.

And then, maybe, I could love him again.

Secrets, secrets are no fun, unless you share them with everyone.

You know what, Oli?

I think I forgive you.