All That Matters

“Estelle, come down here now. You’re father is here.” My mother yelled upstairs at me.

“I’ll be down in a minute.” I yelled back covering part of my phone but then removed my hand to talk into it, “Sorry, my moms all moody because my dad came today.”

“Don’t worry about it. You should probably go before you get in trouble again.” My boyfriend Lyle told me sympathetically.

“Get off the phone with that boy right this minute and come down now.” I heard her yell again.

“Too late.” I muttered half laughing at Lyle’s warning before saying apologetically, “Hey honey I have to go moms starting to be all dramatic. I’ll text you okay.”

“Don’t worry. It’s ok. I love you.” He said bringing a smile to my face as always.

“I love you too.” I replied before hanging up.

I slowly descended down the stairs speaking clearly and loudly at my mother, “He has a name you know. We’ve been together for what’s getting close to a year and you still refuse to learn my boyfriends name is Lyle.”

“Whatever. Say hello to your father Estelle he’s taking you out for the afternoon today. Isn’t that great.” She said with a sickly sweetness.

“Joy…” I mumbled under my breath.

I nodded my head towards him, this man who I had only seen a handful of times in my life but was deemed my father by genetics. We walked outside to his car and drove off to who knows where. I got out my phone to text Lyle.











“Who are you texting?” my father asked curiously.

“My boyfriend.” I replied curtly.

“From what your mother has told me he sounds like a guy that’s no good.” He stated.

“He is not no good. Mom refuses to get to know him or even acknowledge our relationship. He’s a good guy who treats me right and loves me.” I stated simply.

“Love?” he said it as if it was a joke, “Sweetie you’re only seventeen, what do you know about love? That boy has probably trashed you’re mind into thinking you’re in love.”

He began to mumble inaudibly to himself about it all. Age, I hate that people always seem to partially judge what we have because of our age. They say were too young and any love that we supposedly feel is probably nothing more than puppy love. It’s not though. Our love is real I know in my heart it’s the truth. We both feel the same way.

“Estelle, he’s your first boyfriend so I understand what you think you feel but just give it time. You’ll see. Right now y’all are happy and ‘loving’ but in a few months it’ll be arguing and crying. Then you’ll catch him cheating on you or he’ll just leave you, possibly for someone else. I’m sorry sweetie I know it sounds cruel but that’s the way most guys are.” He claimed as if he was an expert on the subject. Afraid he had upset me he tried to comfort me by stroking my hair.

I smacked his hand away as I spoke trying to maintain my voice, “He wouldn’t cheat on me. You don’t know anything about him, and especially about me. Plus you sure as hell don’t know a thing about us. Oh, and just for your information he’s not my first boyfriend.”

My father stayed silent as if in shock, but I just ignored him as I texted Lyle. It’s not as if I needed reassurance it’s just I knew he deserved to know.





We had just sat down in this restaurant when I held my phone up to my father for him to see,

I had a smirk on my face as my father again stared in shock. I told Lyle his reaction trying to contain my laughter. I thought I heard my father mutter something about how that boy had a lot of nerve causing my smile grow even bigger.

“So you’ve been with this boy for how long?” he questioned, and it seemed he was trying to hide his growing frustration.

“Nine months already.” I answered smiling. Even if he was asking with no real interest I didn’t mind. I liked talking about our relationship because I love what we have together.

“What’s his name again?” he again questioned.

“Lyle. His name is Lyle Davis.” I replied.

“I think I agree with you’re mother for once. Maybe you shouldn’t see him anymore.” He stated, clearly irritated, as if it was as simple as that. Case closed and shut with a supreme order.

“What? You don’t even know him. Neither of you know him!” I yelled. One parent was bad enough but now I had both against me.

“Sweetie, you’re just so young right now. You don’t need the relationship troubles, and you should only be focused on your future. How old is he anyway?” he suddenly asked.

“He’s eighteen, not even a year older that me. Plus dad what does age matter? It doesn’t matter how many years apart we are or what age it is we fall in love. I mean you and mom were in your late twenties and you both still screwed up your marriage.” I rambled on angrily knowing I was out of line.

“Watch it young lady. This is something completely different. The two of you together is not a good idea. I mean look at your behavior just now. He’s clearly not a good influence. I don’t approve of it and neither does your mother. You should break up with him and the sooner the better.” He claimed, clearly threatening.

“No, I’m not. Like Lyle told you, we don’t need you’re permission.” I was trying to contain my own anger, “Just take me home. Right now.”

“Fine, but we’re not done yet. When we get home we’re having a discussion with you’re mother.” He demanded sternly as we approached the car.

“Whatever.” I muttered as I put my headphones on staring out the window.

As we approached the house I checked my phone to see that Lyle had texted me: I felt my heart crack a little at the thought of having to let him go because of my parents. I told him everything but how could I tell him this when it wasn’t what I wanted. Still I knew he was waiting for a reply.





Just then we had finally arrived at my house and I ran out of the car into the house. I rushed past my mother and up the stairs into my room locking myself in. I heard my mother yell after me but I ignored her. My father had stalked in just a bit after me slamming the door. I paced my room trying to catch my breath and wrap my head around everything. I began to open my window a bit to get some fresh air when my phone began to sing.

“Hello.” I answered cringing a bit as I heard my father yell again with my mother now demanding I come downstairs.

“Babe you okay? You never replied and I was starting to worry.” I heard Lyle question, his voice thick with concern.

I took a deep breath trying to control my breathing from revealing how I badly wanted to cry. I heard knocking on my door as I finally found enough control in my voice to speak, “I just don’t really feel like talking right now. I’ll call you later… I’m sorry.”

I hung up as I yelled at them to go away. I didn’t want to face them, or hear them try to change my heart.

“Estelle, open this door; we have to talk to you. We just want what’s best for you and he isn’t it.” My mother tried to reason from the other side of the door. I’m pretty sure I could hear my father yelling that they should just unlock it themselves.

“Just leave me alone right now. I just want to be left alone is that so bad.” I yelled. I felt my phone vibrating over and over in my pants pocket.

Lyle was calling but I knew I couldn’t control my voice to refrain from crying, not this time. I felt like it would hurt me just to ignore the call but what choice did I have. I didn’t know how to explain any of this to him. I put my phone on silent as I broke down in tears against the door sliding helplessly to the floor. This pain felt so horrible as I held my knees to my chest. I searched for my Ipod as I tried to escape to another place but I just began to hear Lyle’s and my song over and over again. All I could do was cry more even though I just couldn’t find a reason why. I just wanted this pain to end, or for someone to help me forget it. I couldn’t remember the last time I cried this much. Could someone make this pain just end?

Suddenly I felt two loving arms wrap around me in a familiar embrace. I looked up to see Lyle looking down on my tear stained face. He smiled such a gentle and sad smile but I couldn’t bring myself to smile back as I turned my head down not knowing how or what to say. I felt a gentle hand caress my chin as he brought my face up to look at him.

I grabbed his handing bringing it down to his lap before I asked, “How did you get in here?”

He wiped away the tears still on my face as he replied, “You left your window open a crack so I was able to get in through there. Since you hung up on me I was worried, and your phone just kept going to voicemail.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just things got hard to handle and I…… I just didn’t know how to tell you any of it.” I rushed barely audible.

“You can tell me whatever you want. I’ll listen even if you think it’s something I may not want to hear.” He told me holding onto my hand tightly but reassuringly in his as I leaned against him.

I just held onto him not wanting to move or think about what had happened. Lyle didn’t push me to tell him. He just held me close one hand gently stroking my hair, and the other still holding onto mine. I knew though that I had to tell him because he deserved to know. I know that he would understand because he knew me. As far as my mother and father were concerned I was always the good obedient daughter.

I stood up abruptly enough to startle him a little. I began to pace back and forth a bit by the window trying to gather my thoughts. Finally I faced him as I spoke the words that felt like acid in my throat, “My parents told me to break up with you.”

My voice cracked at the end as I felt the tears want to start. I continued as difficult as it felt, “They both think that us together is a bad idea. That you’re either going to leave me or cheat on me. They’re telling me I can do better than you. That you’re no good for me and you’re just messing with my mind to make me think that this is love.”

I looked at Lyle whose face was blank as I felt tears slowly falling down my face. I walked to my bed sitting on the edge, never letting my gaze move from him. I tried to control my voice before I broke into more sobs, “I can’t do it. I just kept hearing them, but I can’t do it. I love you to much. I don’t want someone else. I don’t want to lose you. I kept telling them that they didn’t understand. They don’t know you like I do. I just……can’t do it.”

He got up and sat beside me, without another word I fell into his arms, and all my tears came falling down. I felt like the pain was there but not as all consuming as before. Somehow between all my crying Lyle had moved us onto my bed. As my sobs subsided I just laid there in his arms.

“I’m not going anywhere. If you want me to stay then I’ll stay. There’s nowhere else I would rather be. I love you, and I can’t even think of trying to find someone else. It doesn’t matter to me if your parents disapprove or that they hate me. All I care about is that we want to be with each other and you love me. Nothing else matter to me ok? I love everything that we have and as far as I'm concerned you are irreplaceable. You are all I want, and I don't want to let you go ever. You are my world Estelle, and you have been since we met.” He whispered gently to me.

I didn’t know how I had gotten so lucky to have him love me, but I wasn’t about to let him go. I just moved closer to him as he turned on my Ipod speaker as we peacefully lay listening to our song. The last thing I remembered was his voice singing softly to me in my ear as I drifted off to sleep.