Father Figure

When I first woke up after the night I lost my virginity, I panicked. Sid wasn't just some big hockey star to me, he had been my best friend. He was the one that interrogated all of my boyfriends in high school. He was the one I called crying at two am after I found out my dad had cheated on my mom and was leaving us. 

Knowing what we had done together terrified me. I didn't want to lose him that way. I hadn't even felt more than friendship for him. Yet we had done the dirty. 

It took everything in my power not to cry. That wasn't how I had ever planned on giving up that part of myself. I had wanted to wait until I was married. And yet Sidney Crosby changed that idea with a few bottles of beer. 

I didn't blame him for it, though. From what I could remember, I'd gotten wasted playing beer pong while he had been taking shots in the kitchen with some guy from our old math class. We started dancing to the blaring music and things turned. 

When I got home that morning and showered, I swore two things to myself: I would not drink again and I would ignore Sidney Crosby. 

Finding out I was pregnant only made my promise to ignore him stronger. 

--

Sidney smiled at Mario and glanced at Vero and me. His smile faltered slightly. He gave me a curious look, like he didn't quite recognize me. 
 
"This is the woman looking to rent this place. Her name's Nathalie-"

"Harris," Sid cut in. "Correct?" he asked uncertainly. 

I swallowed hard. I could lie to him. I could tell him he was just imagining it was me, but I could already see his mind confirming that it was me. "Yeah," I choked out. 

Vero pursed her lips next to me and looked to Mario. "You two know each other?" he asked curiously. 

Sidney nodded his head. "Yeah. We were friends back when we were in school," he answered with a small smile. 

I finally looked away. "We should probably get going," I mumbled to Vero. 

She stared at me for a second. "Yeah," she finally agreed. 

"Wait, did you want to talk about the price or anything else?" Mario asked. 

I waved it off. "No, that's fine. I should probably head back and start figuring out exactly what I can afford and all that," I told him. 

"Alright. Give me a call if you have any questions," he told me. 

I nodded my head and looked to Vero. She took the lead and began walking out. She said goodbye to Mario and gave Sid a pat on the arm as she passed. I kept my head down after saying goodbye to Mario. I tried to keep from making eye contact with Sidney. Maybe we could just get out of this without any more conversation. 

"Wait! Nathalie!" I cursed under my breath. Vero watched me carefully. I slowly turned around to see him walking forward. "We should catch up some time. Maybe lunch or something?" he asked hesitantly. 

I stated up at those brown eyes of his. Our sons had the same ones. "I don't think so..." I mumbled before I could stop myself. I cringed and turned away. I walked as fast as I could to get back to Vero's car. 

"Why not?" Sid asked. 

I stopped again and face him. I ran my hand through my hair. "I just can't, Sidney. I have to go," I insisted. 

Vero stood awkwardly between the two of us. He looked frustrated. "Nathalie, we were best friends when we were younger. Why can't we just catch up?" he questioned. 

"Because I am a mother now," I blurted out. "I don't have the money to pay a babysitter just so I can go have lunch and talk."

"Bring your kid with you!" he exclaimed. 

I wanted to stomp my foot in frustration. Why wouldn't he just let this die? "It's not that simple-"

"Like hell! We ask for a booster seat or one of those high chairs," he returned. "Why do we even have to argue this? I thought we had been pretty good friends..."

I pinched my eyes shut. "Because three five year olds out at a restaurant is not only expensive, but a pain in the ass. Let alone throwing in Sidney freaking Crosby, they'll lose their shit," I snapped at him. 

With that I turned and practically sprinted to Vero's car. She unlocked it and I slid inside. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. 

Bravo, Nathalie. Bravo. Might as well have told him he was a dad. 

The driver's side door open and closed gently. The car turned on and Vero began driving us back to her house. I opened my eyes and stared out the window. "Want to talk about it?" she asked softly. 

I shook my head in response. I just wanted to disappear. "I think maybe I should go with the forth place. It was pretty nice," I whispered out. I was begging myself to not break down. I had sworn I wouldn't do that. I had sworn I wouldn't even talk to him. And yet I practically yelled that he was a dad in his face!

"Don't let Sid be a deciding factor. If Mario's place is going to be best for t'e boys-"

I buried my face in my hands. "But he's always been a deciding factor, Vero! He's why I moved to the other side of the States to a non-NHL area!" I exclaimed.

She put a calming hand on my shoulder. "Maybe you should just tell him. You might be surprised," she offered. 

I shook my head. I promised myself I wouldn't tell him. I didn't want to ruin his life this way. Vero pulled her car into her driveway next to a big black SUV. "Look, Sidney is a good guy. He would want to help out. He would want to get to know his sons. He would do everyt'ing he possibly could to be t'e best dad ever. You should give him a chance," she told me bluntly. "You would get a helping hand wit' t'em and not only Sid, the entire team would take in t'e boys. T'ey're a big family and t'ey would take care of t'eir own."

I stared at her for a moment, trying to take in her words. "I can't ruin his life that way, though. There are so many things left to do for him and I don't want to be the one holding him back," I whispered. 

Vero opened her mouth to reply, but stopped when her eyes landed on the front door. Her mouth dropped a little more as her eyes watched what was going on. I turned around to follow her gaze.  

Out of the door came running a giant blonde holding Gab up under the arms and Marc running with a towel under my son. Gab was drenched head to toe in paint, dripping all the colors of the rainbow onto the towel. The tall man set Gab down on the grass before the two men ran back inside. Moments later they repeated the process with Beau. Finally, they came out carrying Kris. 

The two men stared at my fully painted sons, looking completely confused. I could see their lips moving as they tried to figure out what to do. The tall one finally pointed to the hose. Marc picked it up, on a spray head, and turned the water on. Within seconds, each boy was being drowned in water. They all giggled madly as Marc chased them around the yard with the hose. The giant blonde began running the opposite direction in hopes to wrangle them up. Within moments they were all slipping around on the grass. Finally, the giant slipped and accidentally took out Marc. The two men scrambled to get up as my sons all giggled in delight. 

Seeing their happy faces lifted my mood considerably. They deserved to have a good home and a stable living place. They didn't deserve to be moved around all the time. I couldn't do that to them. I knew then that when I made a decision on where to live, it needed to last. I couldn't be moving from school to school, either. 

Vero looked over at me and studied my face. After a few more seconds she spoke again. "T'e boys would love knowing t'eir fat'er and having him around."