Father Figure

Our little family, or I guess it was a big one with three boys, fell into a pattern. The process of trading off grew easier and easier as we figured out what patterns worked better than others. Most days, Sidney would pick the boys up from school if he was in town and we would all stay at his place until it was bed time. I was doing everything I could to make time for the boys to spend with Sidney since they mainly lived with me. I wanted him to be as present as possible.

There were days I was more than thankful for Sidney being around so much. When we lost a patient at the hospital that I'd gotten close to or used to seeing, it always stung. Being able to go home or go to Sidney's and see him made things easier.

We'd grown close again. We talked about just about anything and everything with no boundaries. The easy flow of conversation between us had never left us. For that, I was thankful.

"Mama!" Beau yelled as he flung open Sidney's front door when he saw my car pull up.

I felt my heart tighten at the sight of my son. I rushed to the door and swept him up into a big hug. I closed my eyes as I held onto him. "I love you," I told him as I set him back down.

"I love you, too!" he yelled before running into the large house.

Kris and Gab soon appeared and grinned at me. "Hi, mom!" Gab yelled.

"Hi, mama!" Kris greeted.

I slipped off my shoes and smiled at them. "Come give me a hug, boys," I told them.

They both ran over and wrapped their arms around me. "I love you," I told each of them before kissing their foreheads.

"Je t'aime!" Kris called as he ran in the direction Beau had disappeared.

Gab quickly followed his brothers, calling out to them. I let out a tired sigh. I had needed to see them all day.

Sidney walked out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on his jeans. "Hey, how are you?" he asked.

I bit my lip to keep it from quivering. "I've had a rough day," I told him honestly.

He frowned down at me as I walked towards him. His arms looped around me as I walked right up to him and held on to him. "What happened?" he asked curiously.

I closed my eyes, burying my face into his chest. "We had a little boy that was five years old pass away today," I whispered. "He... I just..."

Sidney rubbed my back as he held onto me tighter. "Hey, you don't have to explain. I understand," he whispered as he lightly kissed my head.

It was hard seeing that boy go. As a mother, it made me want to see my own children and hug them. I couldn't imagine losing them and I never wanted to have to go through that. I knew it would be the end of me if I had to see any of my sons pass away because of an injury he received while in the car with me. I would never stop blaming myself.

"Dad? When is dinner?" Beau asked as he walked into the living room. His brown eyes looked between us as we pulled apart. "What's wrong?" he asked me quickly.

I forced a smile to my lips. "Nothing, sweetie," I assured him.

He frowned, not liking that I wasn't telling him what had happened. "We're having spaghetti. It should be ready in an hour," he told Beau.

Beau gave him a wide smile before running back to his brothers, screaming the announcement.

Sidney looked back at me. "You okay?" he asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'll be fine."

"Come on into the kitchen and we can talk," he told me as he backed up towards the doorway.

I nodded, following him into the other room. He went back to the counter where he was cutting up vegetables to put into the sauce. "What happened to the kid?" he asked softly.

"His mom wrecked the car while he was in it. He wasn't buckled in so he collided with the seat in front of him. From how he hit the seat, he developed severe internal bleeding. He barely made it two hours after the crash," I mumbled.

"Jeez... I couldn't ever imagine living with myself after that," he admitted as he grimaced.

I ran my hand through my hair. "I couldn't agree more." I let out a sigh, pushing the thoughts of my day aside. "How were you today?" I asked curiously.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well... Remember how I went to that check up a week ago?" he began.

"Yeah, of course. They boys were whining about missing you all day," I told him with a small smile.

He laughed, but it didn't feel whole hearted. "Well, I got the results back today," he told me. "They think I might have a soft tissue injury that could be causing my concussion symptoms." I could see that he was fighting back a smile.

I didn't even both to try to hold mine back. "So, it's an improvement. That's great!" I exclaimed, hurrying over to hug him again.

He chuckled as he hugged me back. "I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I hope that's what it is because otherwise I'll feel even more hopeless," he responded.

I'd stayed up late several nights with him talking about the symptoms and the stress it all caused. Sidney put on a face for the media and his fans, but beneath the surface he was panicking. He would never admit to anyone else, but the thought that this could end his carrier was always lurking in the depths of his mind. On the inside, he had been tormenting himself over his injury.

He was doing everything he could to hold up his title as captain. He spent hours upon hours looking at his teammates play and making suggestions. He was just as involved as if he had actually been playing.

With the possibility of his symptoms being caused by an injury, I could already see how relieved he was feeling.

"Shit," Sid whispered as he stirred the pot of noodles with a plastic spoon.

"What?" I asked from the counter where I was reading over the boys' progress reports.

"Um... What do you think about going out to pizza tonight?" he asked slowly.

I looked up to see him dumping the water from the dish out. I frowned in confusion. "Didn't you have noodles in there?" I asked curiously.

He turned the pot so I could see a lump of burnt noodles at the bottom. He gave me a sheepish smile. My eyes drifted over to the sauce that was on the stove. Sidney's eyes followed mine. "Fuck!" he almost yelled as he ditched the pot in the sink and rushed to stir the sauce. He let out a long, irritated groan as he let the spoon fall.

"I think pizza sounds great," I piped in.

He gave me a small smile over his shoulder. I jumped off the counter and walked over to look at the sauce. It looked rather... disgusting. "I'll give you a lesson on spaghetti next week," I told him before going to get the boys. I found them in Kris's room, all of them talking about the players on the hockey cards they had in front of them. "Hey, boys. Go get your shoes. We're going to go get pizza," I told them.

"Pizza!" Beau exclaimed as he jumped up. They all scrambled to get up and run down the stairs to get their shoes.

I laughed and followed them down. Sidney was in front of the couch, tying shoes for his sons when I got down the stairs. I went to the door to slide my feet back into my shoes and grab my jacket. "My car?" Sid asked me as he stood up straight.

"Sure. You can drive," I told him.

He smirked. "Thank God. Women can't drive worth crap," he mumbled so I only heard him.

I glared at him. "See if your sons come visit you anymore," I taunted.

He let out a loud laugh and held the garage door open for me. "My sons love me. You can't keep them away," he pointed out.

I simply laughed at his comment. We were always teasing each other about that. It was our go to joke when we teased one another. I slid inside of Sidney's large car. "You boys ready?" I asked, looking behind me.

"Yeah!" they all chorused out. Sidney started up the car and began backing out. Hopefully this outing would go just as smoothly as our few other ones.